Today, while my boyfriend and I were cuddling on the couch, he looked down at my chest and said, "I can't wait for the day that these produce milk." We've only been dating a few months, and I have no intention of lactating anytime soon. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend whilst straddled on top of him. He started to undo my bra. I was fine with this but he stopped kissing me and looked at me with a slight smile. He then said, "I know this is going to kill the mood... but I feel like I could milk your boobs right now" FML
Today, my boyfriend started to kiss my boobs. I am pregnant and started my lactation period. Now every time he looks at me he calls me milky way. FML
Today, my boyfriend started to suck on my boob, which I quite enjoy, until he said he was breastfeeding and called me "Mummy". I don't think I can ever let his mouth near my boobs ever again. FML
Today, when done feeding my newborn, I stated to my husband that I'm a cow. He said, in a sincere tone, "Oh, baby, you'll lose the weight soon." I meant cow because I'm producing so much milk. FML
Today, I was diagnosed with a clogged milk gland. I am not, nor have ever been, pregnant and therefore have also never breastfed. This condition is caused by my boyfriend's over-active urge to suck on my nipples. I'm in horrible pain, and he won't stop laughing. FML
Today, my husband admitted to me that he has a mental block about touching my boobs, because he's afraid that breast milk is going to spurt out at him. I had my son 5 months ago and I don't breast feed. FML
Today, I am six months pregnant and have been lactating. When I noticed this and pointed it out to my husband, I jokingly stated that I felt like a cow. He then replied. "Oh, you're not a cow. At most you're just a fat pig." He still has no clue why I'm upset. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I like it when he moans while we're having sex. Unfortunately, he interpreted that as "milk it". The sound is so obnoxious, it's starting to ruin the sex. FML
Today, I was laying in bed with my boyfriend. He started caressing me, his eyes were closed, and he said, “I love touching your boobs.” Which was actually a roll of fat on my stomach. FML
Today, my husband and I were having sex for the first time since I had our son. As I was riding him in a heated passion, he grabbed my breasts. Milk literally shot out onto his face. Mood totally ruined. FML
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Top comments
darkmis1 18
woooooow! he's in a bit of a hurry...
MiniatureMayhem 0
Somebody's hungry!
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Comments (65)
jimmyjimjobobo 0
you have 1 sick boyfreind lol ____________________________ www.youtube/jimmyjimjobobo123
z411811 0
he probably just wants to see them bigger.
thajuggalo420 0
most likely haha
Dannie1308 11
that's what i was thinking.
HXCxSceneKidx 0
Just means he loves u. And he wants to be with u forever and ever.
WonderBlunder 0
You better double check the condom, especially those that he brought.
moopsy234 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
lol 16 lol ha yeah lol yeeaaahhh but Ima chick and mine r puuurrtty bigg for my age... DD34 I'm freakin 12yrs old man!!!!! :( but bois seem to like it :) but I ain't no hoe!!! that's lexies job lol jk Lexie luv u :)
burtonboard97 0
slow down their junior. ur only 12, no need to care whether boys like ur MASSIVE Double D's.
burtonboard97 0
no one cares about ur boob size (although now that i think about it, you probably lied) and plus u shouldn't make inside jokes because only you know what they mean
tiffanyheart 0
This is not your myspace page, no one cares if your friend "Lexie" is a "hoe" or not. As for the DD breasts, maybe it's just me but I count myself as lucky not having that size. Aside from back problems and sagging after awhile, I can be pretty sure the guy I'm dating does NOT just see me as a pair of ****.
jts924 0
lol if you r 12 and have DDs u r most likely really fat and that's the only reason.
fringle 0
I dint get it I'm slow lol
UrLuvIzMyDrug 0
Hey- I'm slow too- especially on Modays!! I HATE MONDAYS!!! And I have a shirt to prove it!
demonpudding 0
This made my laugh, but seriously, FYL.
fangsupKELS 0
I really really really hope your boyfriend is the same one who got his balls kicked by tickling his girlfriend. That would be such a win.
moopsy234 0
fringle he was sayin that he wants her to have his baby and when she get preggo she will lactate (her boobs will grow milk and get bigger) and they have only bin seeing eachother a few months and that's way too soon for her now u get it?
RIKANA 0
your boyfriend is really gross. I'd think about other options. RI