Today, while my boyfriend and I were cuddling on the couch, he looked down at my chest and said, "I can't wait for the day that these produce milk." We've only been dating a few months, and I have no intention of lactating anytime soon. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend whilst straddled on top of him. He started to undo my bra. I was fine with this but he stopped kissing me and looked at me with a slight smile. He then said, "I know this is going to kill the mood... but I feel like I could milk your boobs right now" FML
Today, my boyfriend started to kiss my boobs. I am pregnant and started my lactation period. Now every time he looks at me he calls me milky way. FML
Today, my boyfriend started to suck on my boob, which I quite enjoy, until he said he was breastfeeding and called me "Mummy". I don't think I can ever let his mouth near my boobs ever again. FML
Today, when done feeding my newborn, I stated to my husband that I'm a cow. He said, in a sincere tone, "Oh, baby, you'll lose the weight soon." I meant cow because I'm producing so much milk. FML
Today, I was diagnosed with a clogged milk gland. I am not, nor have ever been, pregnant and therefore have also never breastfed. This condition is caused by my boyfriend's over-active urge to suck on my nipples. I'm in horrible pain, and he won't stop laughing. FML
Today, my husband admitted to me that he has a mental block about touching my boobs, because he's afraid that breast milk is going to spurt out at him. I had my son 5 months ago and I don't breast feed. FML
Today, I am six months pregnant and have been lactating. When I noticed this and pointed it out to my husband, I jokingly stated that I felt like a cow. He then replied. "Oh, you're not a cow. At most you're just a fat pig." He still has no clue why I'm upset. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I like it when he moans while we're having sex. Unfortunately, he interpreted that as "milk it". The sound is so obnoxious, it's starting to ruin the sex. FML
Today, I was laying in bed with my boyfriend. He started caressing me, his eyes were closed, and he said, “I love touching your boobs.” Which was actually a roll of fat on my stomach. FML
Today, my husband and I were having sex for the first time since I had our son. As I was riding him in a heated passion, he grabbed my breasts. Milk literally shot out onto his face. Mood totally ruined. FML
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Top comments
darkmis1 18
woooooow! he's in a bit of a hurry...
MiniatureMayhem 0
Somebody's hungry!
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Comments (65)
saunder 0
isnt that a common thing to say when looking at boobs? ;) but i mean he obviously trusts you so doesnt think so long about what he can and can not say. and isnt it a good thing that he loves u so much that hes already thinking of that...but maybe u should have only one night stands na?
cmac86 24
mooo!
strorbehri 0
Oh, come on. He wasn't saying you should get pregnant ASAP because he's super-excited about spending the next 18 years dealing with a child. He's a man, in all likelihood he was just contemplating the time-saving potential of having breasts and food in the same place. He's almost definitely not serious, YDI for overreacting.
dinoliz 0
hey, doesn't that mean if your eggo gets preggo he won't leave you?
jennadol95 0
18, obviously you are a hoe, 12 years old and already obsessed with your boobs? hmm? especially broadcasting that online? go look up pretty pink purses or something.. i bet this isnt the kind of attention you were looking for now was it? peace out little hoe. :]
_theman_ 0
lol the dude was probly saying that he wonders how much bigger they would be, and #18 if your breasts are that big then your fat, go outside at least once in your life
katrinaa_13 0
#43 OMGGGG, ROFLLLLL that's winnnn . :D
Shoop_da_woop 0
sounds like SOMEBODY didn't tell you the condom broke ;D congrats new mommy
skxdarksword 0
http://all-the-exgirlfriends.info/?uid=21681
im_a_dinosaur 0
hahahhaha he sounds like a keeper :|
karhma_fml 0
he just wants to be with you idiot, sounds like he's too good for u if u couldn't figure that out, hopefully he'll find someone better than u