Today, my crush came over and we began to fool around. He started to kiss my stomach, and just when I was getting into it, he pulled away with a disgusted look on his face, wiped his mouth, and said, "We'll continue this when you get rid of all your bellybutton lint." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, as my boyfriend went to go down on me, he felt it necessary to stop at my stomach and clean the lint out of my belly button. FML
Today, the guy I've been crushing on for years and I finally went on a date. While on the date, he threw up in my purse and stuck tampons up his nose. FML
Today, my crush grabbed my butt while I was walking up the stairs. In surprise I farted. He won't even look me in the eyes now. FML
Today, my crush and I were talking on the phone and we were really hitting it off. We got on the subject of sex and I told him I have a purity ring. Then he suddenly said he had to go and hang up. FML
Today, my boyfriend of two years kept digging around in his belly button and smelling his fingers. At one point he shoved his fingers in my face and told me to smell his belly button. He's 27 years-old. FML
Today, I threw up on my crush's lawn. FML
Today, while getting steamy with my boyfriend, I tried to be sexy and tease him by playfully pushing his hands away every time he touched me. He responded by telling me it's OK if we didn't have sex because my breath was a bit "funky" and he needed to take "a massive dump anyway." FML
Today, a few of my friends arranged for us to go skinny-dipping with the guy I really like. It went really well, until a turd surfaced before our eyes. After we scrambled out of the pool in panic, my crush called us all freaks and left. FML
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend and he was moving his hand from his thigh to my chest but on the way he sort of squeezed my stomach. When I asked him why he did that, he told me that "his fingers got stuck under my roll." FML
Today, my crush and I were hooking up and as he slipped his hands up my shirt in order to "feel me up" he started rubbing around my whole torso. When I asked him what he was doing, he replied, "Well I was looking for your boobs but… apparently you have none." FML
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Top comments
henri_fml 0
did you tell him you were saving it to make a blanket for winter?
vein 0
Ew, thats really gross. Take a bath. :(
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Comments (168)
shilo_wallace 0
what a jerk. my boyfriend and I just pick the lint out of each other's bellybuttons if there's any there. While I'm not saying for everyone else to do what we do, people who are sooo disgusted about bellybutton lint is just plain immature.
brittania22 0
ewww....I've NEVER had bellybutton lint...thank God!!! you obviously need to clean better....
Denzel0 0
Well at least this guy wants to continue.
claiiire_fml 17
at least he didn't find narnia in your belly button. mr. tumnus, why are you so dirty and covered in lint!?
mara8 6
that sucks. you should have said: keep your eyes out of my belly button, creep!
David199619 8
11 I just read that fart fml today
FortuneCookie3 1
so patrick star IS real...
plentyfml 0
At least you get a chance.
princessxpanda 5
thatttt sucks lol
CaysonJon 11
I don't understand.. Did he like stick his tongue in your belly button?