Today, I went out on a date with an ex-boyfriend who I hadn't seen since college. He took me to a bar, where he was oddly quiet, but drank heavily. When the bartender asked us if we were ok, he replied, "This is my ex-girlfriend. Can you believe she used to be skinny?" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I made my way to a bar for a first date with a guy I had been talking to online. It turned out he was actually my ex-boyfriend in disguise, trying to get revenge for dumping him. FML
Today, while I was on a date, I noticed my ex-boyfriend in the restaurant, and he looked sad. So I walked over to see him and jokingly said, "You look like your mom died or something!" She had. FML
Today, I was invited out to a date by my ex-boyfriend. He seemed really excited to reconnect and kept holding my hand and complimenting how I looked. Out of nowhere a girl runs up to him screaming. It was his current girlfriend, he was using me to make her jealous. FML
Today, I was eating lunch on my first date with a really pretty girl, when my ex shows up at the same restaurant and starts telling her how bad of a boyfriend I was. My date left. FML
Today, my date bumped into her ex-husband, who decided to join us for the rest of the dinner. FML
Today, after seven months apart, I agreed to meet with my ex, wondering if he'd changed. He sure did. He lost a ton of weight and picked up several new hobbies. He also picked up a 23 year-old new girlfriend. She's slimmer and prettier than I'll ever be. I threw my drink in his face and left in tears. FML
Today, my husband invited a couple of his college friends over for dinner. While we were in the middle of eating, one of them asked loudly, "Hey, whatever happened to that fat bitch you dated in your third year?" We've been dating since his second year. FML
Today, I saw my friend's ex and noticed she had gained a ton of weight since he dated her and had been dating someone else. It reminded me of my friend, so I messaged him and made a joke about her being unrecognizable. He informed me that they started seeing each other again last week. FML
Today, I went on a date with a guy I've been talking to. We ended up at his house around 4 a.m., but as we walked through the front door, his ex-girlfriend was sitting on the couch, apparently waiting for him to get home. They still live together. FML
Today, I was at a fraternity party, and one of the hosts said over the loudspeaker, "Turn to the person next to you and picture them naked, then drink a beer if the mental image disturbs you." I turned, only to be face-to-face with my ex-boyfriend. He drank two beers. FML
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Top comments
forestqueenie 0
what an ahole! I bet you're gorgeous! don't mind what he says...
demonxshadow 1
well then you must be one big dick.
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Comments (139)
aardvarkish 17
I'll say this: I'm glad nothing worked out with my high school gf's.
ThePredicament 0
ydi for getting fat
HighAsTheStars 0
idiot. she could be a size 4 for all we know. her ex's standard of fat is above size 2!!!!
ABANDONFATEREMEM 0
theres a good reason hes an EX boyfriend..
amh721 0
This is why they're called an EX. Obviously something sucked about them that made them into an ex, not a current. Your fault for meeting up with him again.
chargers4life23 0
it's your fault! why did u have to get fat?
svillarrealmd 1
funny! not his fault your a heffer now!
Dj4406 0
if you gain like 50 lbs YDI but if its only like 10 lbs FYL.
HighAsTheStars 0
Uhh no F His Life
MilanKing 0
NO ONE gives a **** about your feelings.
KickItHigh 32
70, it's okay cause no one gives a **** about yours :)
Freeze_fml 17
Apparently you haven't been watching your weight. Boo hoo.