Today, I was looking at some cellphones with my dad, when an assistant asked if we needed help. My dad said, "Yeah, does this have parental controls? My son watches some freaky stuff, some damn freaky stuff." I don't watch anything weird, but thanks for humiliating me, dad. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dad asked my help with a computer problem. Whenever he logged on Facebook, every single advertisement appeared to be hardcore porn. I had to awkwardly explain that these ads are based on his browsing habits. FML
Today, my dad made me figure out how to disable the adult content filters on our internet. He spent what must have been a full 10 minutes on a distracting, long-winded speech about how he doesn't want to look up porn, but "it's just the principle of the damn thing". Sure, dad. Sure. FML
Today, I was using my dad's cell because I had broken mine. I was texting my boyfriend all day when my dad needed his phone back. I forgot to tell my boyfriend that my dad would be using the phone. My boyfriend then texted graphically what he wanted to do to my dad. FML
Today, I was watching a movie with my family in which a character said "Fuck you, dad." My dad then slapped me over the head to get my attention and said, "Never talk to your father like that." Okay, dad. FML
Today, my dad wanted to show me a cool camera he saw on Amazon yesterday, so I let him use my laptop to find it. I realized too late that I'd forgotten to clear my browsing history. The suggested purchases section was filled with dildos and lube. He definitely noticed. FML
Today, I was watching TV with my grandpa, and he stopped flipping channels on a movie with a hot naked chick getting oiled down. Suddenly the remote landed on my stomach as my mom and grandma walked in. They yelled at me for being a pervert, while my grandpa sat and chuckled. FML
Today, I was on the phone to my boss and I mentioned about finding what he needed in the search history. Later, my dad asked what a search history is. When I explained, he went red and asked me if I could maybe delete his without reading it. Jesus Christ, Dad, use private browsing. FML
Today, I was in a store parking lot when I got a text from an unknown number saying, "I see you, I know what you did last summer, you wicked little shit." I freaked out and looked around in a panic. It turns out that it was my "hilarious" dad testing his new phone from across the parking lot. FML
Today, just like almost every other day, my mom goes onto the computer and scolds me for what I watch on YouTube, even when the videos aren't that graphic. Today she scolded me because she found out that I'd watched videos related to the Max Headroom signal intrusion back in '87. Why can't I just watch what I want? FML
Today, my dad made a big show of sending me to my room and grounding me for a week. Not because he heard me cursing at my video game, but because I "swear like a little girl" and it embarrassed him in front of his friends. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
SharnaaaBanana 22
He's probably just covering up his own actions in hope you won't follow in his lead
thrifting 18
Dads - the asshats of the adult world. I guess we still love them... Sometimes.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (50)
let_me_touch_it 8
I'm looking forward to your future FML's when you get a girlfriend.
MartinDJ 26
No surprise, parents tend to embarrass you no matter what
vikky538 29
well did you get a smart phone or not ?
whenitdidhappen 14
troll dads are the "freakiest".
kairi1994 6
I don't get the big deal.
AutumnRed 9
Welp. At least you don't really
iamthunder 4
You do know Google Chrome has an Incognito Window so that you leave no browsing history.
Goblin182 27
Sounds like something I would pull on my sons. High 5 dad.
communisttaco 16
Not to be a dick but cell phone isn't one word.
knittyruby 6
X'D