Today, I went to a coworker's wedding. Instead of getting to celebrate their marriage, we spent most of the service being lectured by the priest on how women are a freak by-product of "God's masterpiece design" and are the cause of all the world's problems. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, it was supposed to be my wedding but my fiancé insisted we be married by his childhood priest, a real bible thumper. This arsehole tried to change our vows at the altar and told me wives should know their place, so I slapped him and the wedding is delayed until we get a new priest. FML
Today, it was my wedding day. Midway through the ceremony, my visibly drunk uncle stood up and denounced the minister for "preaching yer god shite where it weren't never be welcome". FML
Today, stressed to the point of breakdown over my impending daughter's birth, I went to a small church. After a long talk with the pastor, I finally began to feel some calm and peace. Too bad my wife flipped out, accused me of wanting to make her a "handmaid" and made me sleep on the couch. FML
Today, during my wedding ceremony, the groom-to-be found it appropriate to blurt out about an ongoing affair with my maid of honor. They got married instead. FML
Today, my fiancé told a priest on the bus to fuck off, because he was annoying her with all his God talk. She didn’t know the priest had been our family's priest for the past 40 years, the guy we were supposed to talk to about our wedding next year. Guess that’s not happening now. FML
Today, my stepmom aired her opinions on how marriage and children are just shackles placed on women by men to keep them miserable, downtrodden, under control, and borderline suicidal. She made this speech during my wedding reception. Oh and I’m 4 months pregnant as well. FML
Today, my husband made an elaborate heartfelt speech to a female colleague regarding her job promotion during her celebration dinner that had everyone in tears. During our wedding, he insisted on not do wedding vows because he “doesn’t like all that emotional shit.” FML
Today, my father lectured me on the “sanctity of marriage” while his third wife bawled in the corner. I'm just gay, not a raging cunt. FML
Today, I congratulated a bride standing in front of a church in a white dress. Turns out she'd been stood up at the altar. She thrashed me with her bouquet. FML
Today, my dad got married to a woman who's an atheist and makes fun of me for being a devout Christian. FML
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Top comments
JustForRetorts 13
I wonder it he's the kind that prefers little boys...?
xXxJaGsTeRxXx 11
He's probably been single for too long..
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Comments (61)
blazingspermican 4
Smart man
captainclutch96 3
Sounds to me like your friend got married at the Westboro Baptist Church.
LittleBells 17
Well in one case he's right, he's a product of a woman and he's a problem.
classycoop 12
And somewhere, there is a female priest saying the same things about men.
SpamPam 18
I've spotted the neck beard. I win.
captainsmegma 12
Can I get an amen brothers?
Dynosaur_dollie 38
I feel bad for the bride, I'd be livid if someone ****** up my wedding with their absurd rantings. A lot of time and work goes into those things.
AquaManatee 8
Looks like someone is afraid of the truth.
ImRJ 7
too bad you didn't have a shotgun
lennon_ 16
who brought this guy?
Johnsmers 8
Praise the lord?