Today, I ran home because a guy I had never seen before got off the bus at the same time as me, and followed me almost all the way home. I was crying for my mom to call the police but my brother just snorted at me, because, “Only pretty girls have stalkers.” I wish I was an only child. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I noticed a car following me all the way to my house. It was dark so I got really nervous and called the police. The person got out of the car. It was my mom. FML
Today, I was walking my little sister home from the eye doctor. It was raining out so we were kind of in a hurry to get home. We get home and about half an hour later, the cops show up. Apparently, someone saw me walking my sister and called the cops on me thinking I was a child molester. FML
Today, I was getting catcalled downtown by a guy I've never seen before. Then he told me he knows where I live, and accurately described my apartment while he followed me for 2 blocks. FML
Today, I was jogging, and I saw a little boy walking. Crying and all alone. Thinking that he was probably lost, I asked to him with my sweetest voice: 'Hi there, did you lose somebody?' He screamed terrified and ran away. This is the second time this has happened to me. FML
Today, I missed my bus, so I walked home in the rain from school, only to realize my mom had been following me the whole time in the car, laughing her ass off. FML
Today, I went to pick up my little brother from his friend's house. When I got there, he ran off screaming that he didn't know me. His friend's parents believed him. FML
Today, I saw a little boy wandering in the supermarket looking lost and distraught. I gently put my hand on his shoulder and said, “Hey buddy, where’s your mommy?” He screamed, “STRANGER DANGER!” and kicked me in the shin. His actual mom wandered over from the cheese section, gave me a dirty look, and walked off. FML.
Today, someone called the police on me because one of my students was going home with me every day. The student is my son. FML
Today, I found my mother wandering the halls of my fraternity unescorted and asked why she was here, she told me she was concerned when I didn't pick up my phone for two days. She then informed me that she had also moved to the same city I live in. My mother moved over 600 miles to stalk me. FML
Today, at a Dollar Store today with my roommate (I'm 31, my roommate is 32) where some guy stalked us all through the store, and even waited outside the store for us. I had to resort to pretending the Uber driver was my boyfriend. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
cuz803 46
Carry mace and learn self defense techniques
Michael Sawyer 11
probably just a new neighbor that lives down the street from her.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (7)
cuz803 46
Carry mace and learn self defense techniques
RichardPencil 32
Next time you see him, run right up to him and give him your number before he realizes his hideous mistake.
Michael Sawyer 11
probably just a new neighbor that lives down the street from her.
mccuish 25
Seems like a back handed complement
mike3775 39
A follow up would be awesome. I’m curious. Did mom call? Did you call the police? Was it a misunderstanding?
QueenSaru 28
Wait... you're surprised that someone who may live near you... would take the same bus route as you??