Today, after my daughter told half her class about my retainer, I advised her to keep mummy's personal details personal. Now she responds, "I'm not supposed to tell" to any question regarding our home life. Thus far, I've received six very concerned calls. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I wanted to call my mom to ask for advice but called my boss instead. I panicked and ended up talking about weekend plans like nothing was wrong. She now knows way too much about my personal life. FML
Today, my four-year-old daughter called me by her mom's new boyfriend's name. Three different times. FML
Today, as I was taking my three year-old daughter home from daycare, she asked where her daddy was. I tried to tell her that I was her father, but she answered, "No, not you! My other daddy!" I've got some talking to do tonight. FML
Today, I decided to come clean with my daughter about her adoptive status within my family. Just after I told her she was adopted, I realized that I have been telling her stories about me giving birth to her. FML
Today, I found out that my daughter has been making up horrible lies about her home life to impress some new friends. Since when is having two highly involved, loving parents with good careers and a nice home an embarrassment? FML
Today, I went to my phone company and had my text history pulled. Why? Because a few days ago, my four year-old daughter told me that, "Daddy has a wife and a girlfriend." Turns out she was right. FML
Today, I got a call from my daughter's pre-school. Apparently, she is being suspended, for answering; "What do your parents do at home?" She told them, "My parents fuck." FML
Today, like an idiot, I accidentally included stuff I learned from snooping in my daughter's secret diary during a conversation with her. She's not happy at me right now, so I may have to polish off my old grovelling skills from when I was still married to her mom. FML
Today, my dad threatened to hit me if I didn't tell him what I had in my homework. He thinks I won't keep secrets from him this way. There's a reason I kept secrets in the first place. FML
Today, I received a text from my mom saying, "We need to talk." I panicked and replied, "What did I do now?" She responded, "I was going to ask what you wanted for dinner, but now I’m curious about what you're hiding." FML
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Top comments
tormcn 26
I'm wondering why they would call? What were the questions in the first place? I'd like to hear a follow up.
skippydoda 32
I feel like people ask "how is mommy?" or something simple like that. If I asked how their mom is but they only said "I'm not supposed to talk about it" I'd get concerned. Would like a follow up from OP.
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Comments (55)
Kramer1998 20
How old is she exactly?
Isaias_ 9
Would like a follow up op ?
Jethco 15
"Retainer" as in "no more braces"? Why is that personal information?
worldclassrager 41
Keep secrets to your self then...or she better learn to keep her big mouth shut...
appledude25 3
I'm confused too. al
appledude25 3
Oops. I pressed submit by accident before I finished typing. I'm confused about why it's such a big deal that her home life is being brought up at school. We always had little projects that had some mention of our family.
zarrganaut 17
Ah, kids these days.
wheelchairchick 11
You should be happy somebody is worried about your child.
shannon2348 14
I cant even imagine what they could be asking her that you would receive 6 concerned phone calls. this sounds...odd