Today, I was listening to some Michael Jackson through my earphones when I saw this really cute girl. Trying to impress, I approached her while doing some dance moves, not thinking about how unbelievably stupid it must have looked without the music. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, at the gym, I saw this really pretty girl. Trying to impress her, I started lifting with heavy weights. One of the weights slipped out of my hand. I then dropped the other one, trying to make it seem like it was on purpose. I dropped the weight on my phone. I squealed. She giggled. FML
Today, as I was about to walk across the street, a girl in front of me who clearly wasn't paying attention to the traffic, almost got run over. I grabbed her arm and jumped back. She was fine. I fell and fractured my arm and wrist. FML
Today, the girl I have a crush on texted me to go out tonight. When I got to her house, she peered at me quizzically and asked, "What do you want? Did I text you?" FML
Today, as I waited to fly home, a very attractive woman smiled and gestured towards the seat next to me. However, a hyperactive child and his mother barged past into said empty seats. The woman really hit it off with the guy behind, while I was stuck listening to a kid scream at Angry Birds. FML
Today, my mother and I walked past my boyfriend, whom she's never met. After we casually greeted each other and went on our way, my mother said, "He's cute. Who is he?" I paused for a second and replied, "That's my boyfriend." She then said, "Does he know that?" FML
Today, I found out that licking your very chapped lips while totally zoned out and looking in the general direction of a girl, will end up with you becoming the massive college creeper that everyone avoids. FML
Today, while waiting for my mom to pick me up from university, I took out my phone and pretended to talk to someone. I didn't think people still pointed and laughed, but apparently they do when your mom pulls up and shouts, "Stop pretending to talk to someone." FML
Today, while I was removing my makeup with my boyfriend watching, he mentioned that he used to think girls were prettier without makeup on, but he'd now changed his mind. FML
Today, my band played for our school. We were cheered for and everything. Being the lead singer, I tried to look cool and push the mic away and pull it back by pushing down the bottom of the stand with my foot. It hit my face and I bled like crazy, but I kept singing. No one clapped at the end. FML
Today, I went on a date with a guy I had been talking to online for weeks. When I showed up, he looked nothing like his profile picture, and he spent the entire time talking about his ex-girlfriend. FML
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Top comments
saIty 17
Grabbing your crotch while moonwalking?... Not always the best way to impress a lady.
DontClickOnMe 28
I pressed YDI as soon as I saw "trying to impress." But hopefully she thought it was cute. :)
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Comments (81)
megamandude455 10
Yeah and doing the crotch grab makes anybody look cool
GothicAngel17 24
Please tell me you didn't grab your crotch and hip-thrust. Music or no music, what made you think for even a second that that isn't creepy?
GothicAngel17 24
I don't know why 18 is getting thumbed down, since sadly when it comes to a majority of females in this generation he's right.
septemberpeaches 8
You're a schmuck, but that made me laugh so hard it almost makes up for it!! lol
Hiimhaileypotter 53
Not everyone thinks that way,18.
freelancejouster 4
lets all just appreciate that i've done the same exact thing. only in time to opera.
brandy1 5
Next time just say hi.
Slimma 20
"trying to impress" yeah you deserve it. Anytime someone "tries to impress" they gonna do somethin stupid an it is their fault. Maybe one day it'll be learned that trying to impress is going to wind up as a failure.
DUBSTEP_WUB_WUB 1
If you were listening to dubstep she would've thought you were having a seizure
TheDrifter 24
Oddly that's how dubstep is made. You just take a techno beat and set an epileptic 3 year old at the fx board. Boom, instant recording deal.
linkinpark98 24
Squidward: No, Skrillex. A MacBook is not an instrument.
PerfasarusRex 3
18- then you're probably going for the wrong type of girl