Today, I finally treated myself and bought my first moisturizer. The woman at Sephora promised it would "retexturize my face." If by "retexturize" she meant, "make it feel like a rubber balloon," then she was right on the money. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I looked at my face to see if my new age-defying lotion was working. My skin does look younger, it's covered in pimples like a teenager's. FML
Today, I bought a new, expensive face moisturizer. However, it smells like poop. I paid $20 dollars to make my face smell like shit. FML
Today, I realized that the tingly feeling on my face when I put a new combination of acne wash, acne medication, and my usual moisturizer on was not, in fact, "it working." It was slowly peeling away the top layer of skin. I look and feel sunburned. I also still have acne and oily skin. FML
Today, I followed an acne treatment. It was only after I'd finished the treatment that I read the bottom line, stating "Do not scrub your face". I only had one pimple to start with, now it looks like I sandpapered my face. FML
Today, I discovered that my "life-changing" skincare routine wasn’t working because I’d been using conditioner instead of moisturizer for two weeks. My skin is greasy, and I smell like coconuts. FML
Today, I was grumbling about how they apparently changed the recipe of my favorite lotion and made it all weird and sticky, when I realized that, no, what they actually did was design a bottle of shower cream that looks almost exactly LIKE that of my favorite lotion. FML
Today, I was helping a women that was looking for skin care products. She kept commenting on the look and "texture" of my skin in a very creepy and almost hungry fashion. I'm afraid that she wants to skin me. FML
Today, I thought I could make my own skincare products from scratch, but I ended up with a weird, greasy concoction, which left a red mark on my hands. It's been two hours and the mark is still there, despite several washes. FML
Today, I had a lady come up to me in a store just to tell me how bad my acne was and what remedies I should use. I got so embarrassed, all I could say was, "OK" and, "Thank you" until she left me alone. FML
Today, and for the past few days, my skin has been all blotchy and messed up so I tried a new face mask that was supposed to peel off easily. It ended up sticking to my skin like glue. I spent hours in front of the mirror trying to peel it off, one painful sliver at a time. FML
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Top comments
nodeathtoall 19
Next time ask for a demonstration
BlackHawkSavior 28
Hide all sharp objects
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Comments (74)
videogames4life 10
All I see is an OP who is dissatisfied with his/her purchase. OP, with all due respect, this is how business work. They lured you in, you bought their product, they got your money and you have a product that makes you face feel like a balloon
dubstepp 15
I'm confused on the "feels like a rubber ballon" what DOES that feel like?! I
courtzzz23 17
only they literally turn around and throw it away! they mash up all the make up that's returned and throw it all away. I'd keep the crap
shuttfup 17
don't even bother with that bullshit. that chick was just trying to get money out of you by selling you a product you don't need and you fell right into the trap YDI
Xion0014 20
Wait, rubber balloons feel smooth..especially while inflated.