Today, I finally treated myself and bought my first moisturizer. The woman at Sephora promised it would "retexturize my face." If by "retexturize" she meant, "make it feel like a rubber balloon," then she was right on the money. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I looked at my face to see if my new age-defying lotion was working. My skin does look younger, it's covered in pimples like a teenager's. FML
Today, I bought a new, expensive face moisturizer. However, it smells like poop. I paid $20 dollars to make my face smell like shit. FML
Today, I realized that the tingly feeling on my face when I put a new combination of acne wash, acne medication, and my usual moisturizer on was not, in fact, "it working." It was slowly peeling away the top layer of skin. I look and feel sunburned. I also still have acne and oily skin. FML
Today, I followed an acne treatment. It was only after I'd finished the treatment that I read the bottom line, stating "Do not scrub your face". I only had one pimple to start with, now it looks like I sandpapered my face. FML
Today, I discovered that my "life-changing" skincare routine wasn’t working because I’d been using conditioner instead of moisturizer for two weeks. My skin is greasy, and I smell like coconuts. FML
Today, I was grumbling about how they apparently changed the recipe of my favorite lotion and made it all weird and sticky, when I realized that, no, what they actually did was design a bottle of shower cream that looks almost exactly LIKE that of my favorite lotion. FML
Today, I was helping a women that was looking for skin care products. She kept commenting on the look and "texture" of my skin in a very creepy and almost hungry fashion. I'm afraid that she wants to skin me. FML
Today, I thought I could make my own skincare products from scratch, but I ended up with a weird, greasy concoction, which left a red mark on my hands. It's been two hours and the mark is still there, despite several washes. FML
Today, I had a lady come up to me in a store just to tell me how bad my acne was and what remedies I should use. I got so embarrassed, all I could say was, "OK" and, "Thank you" until she left me alone. FML
Today, and for the past few days, my skin has been all blotchy and messed up so I tried a new face mask that was supposed to peel off easily. It ended up sticking to my skin like glue. I spent hours in front of the mirror trying to peel it off, one painful sliver at a time. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
nodeathtoall 19
Next time ask for a demonstration
BlackHawkSavior 28
Hide all sharp objects
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (74)
Dynamite73 25
Moisturize me
TheNewGuy03 29
Aha, so I'm not the only crazy bastard here that instantaneously thought of Cassandra from Doctor Who.
TheLemonMan 24
Hey, since you're rubbing your hair against it, that means you must be very attractive. (;
MikaykayUnicorn 36
Yep, you could pretty much bring in a half empty bottle of something and get a refund. But don't do that. Be a good person. Only bring back something if it doesn't work for you, like this didn't work for OP.
neuronerd 29
What does "retexturizing" one's skin mean? While, yes, there will always be texture, isn't the goal to have smooth, clear, soft skin? That doesn't really seem like a term I'd use to describe good skin.
kirkaygri 18
Retexturize means smooth and tighten. It's usually recommended for older women who want their skin to look younger. It sounds like it did exactly what it was suppose to do but it wasn't what OP wanted.
whysobeachy 37
Excuse my ignorance, but what is Sephora?
sunflower_seal 17
Allergic reactions happen . Just return the product and explain your reaction, they will refund you. Though your skin may take time to heal
noisyboy4000 23
It's a makeup brand
kirkaygri 18
It's a beauty store. They sell makeup and hair supplies and lotions creams and what not. All different brands of things.
kirkaygri 18
Retexturizing is meant to smooth and tighten. It's usually used by older women who want to make their skin look younger. It sounds like what you bought did what it was suppose to but it wasn't what you wanted. I'm kinda confused on one thing, though, most retexturizing products are scrubs, not moisturizers, and are meant to literally, scrub off the top layer of your skin, revealing tight, smooth skin underneath. I don't get how you went in for a moisturizer and came out with something that retexturizes. Someone wasn't doing their job properly.
blueboarding 5
What does OP mean?