Today, I finally treated myself and bought my first moisturizer. The woman at Sephora promised it would "retexturize my face." If by "retexturize" she meant, "make it feel like a rubber balloon," then she was right on the money. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I looked at my face to see if my new age-defying lotion was working. My skin does look younger, it's covered in pimples like a teenager's. FML
Today, I bought a new, expensive face moisturizer. However, it smells like poop. I paid $20 dollars to make my face smell like shit. FML
Today, I realized that the tingly feeling on my face when I put a new combination of acne wash, acne medication, and my usual moisturizer on was not, in fact, "it working." It was slowly peeling away the top layer of skin. I look and feel sunburned. I also still have acne and oily skin. FML
Today, I followed an acne treatment. It was only after I'd finished the treatment that I read the bottom line, stating "Do not scrub your face". I only had one pimple to start with, now it looks like I sandpapered my face. FML
Today, I discovered that my "life-changing" skincare routine wasn’t working because I’d been using conditioner instead of moisturizer for two weeks. My skin is greasy, and I smell like coconuts. FML
Today, I was grumbling about how they apparently changed the recipe of my favorite lotion and made it all weird and sticky, when I realized that, no, what they actually did was design a bottle of shower cream that looks almost exactly LIKE that of my favorite lotion. FML
Today, I was helping a women that was looking for skin care products. She kept commenting on the look and "texture" of my skin in a very creepy and almost hungry fashion. I'm afraid that she wants to skin me. FML
Today, I thought I could make my own skincare products from scratch, but I ended up with a weird, greasy concoction, which left a red mark on my hands. It's been two hours and the mark is still there, despite several washes. FML
Today, I had a lady come up to me in a store just to tell me how bad my acne was and what remedies I should use. I got so embarrassed, all I could say was, "OK" and, "Thank you" until she left me alone. FML
Today, and for the past few days, my skin has been all blotchy and messed up so I tried a new face mask that was supposed to peel off easily. It ended up sticking to my skin like glue. I spent hours in front of the mirror trying to peel it off, one painful sliver at a time. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
nodeathtoall 19
Next time ask for a demonstration
BlackHawkSavior 28
Hide all sharp objects
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (74)
Colon_Man 17
If your face felt like a lead balloon before, then you're headed in the right direction. My elbows feel like lizard skin right now and i can't seem to soften them up. :(
smokecloud_ 37
Coconut oil every day after a hot steamy shower/bath.
kirkaygri 18
Psoriasis cream mixed with your lotion of choice. The psoriasis cream has to have salicylic acid in it for it to work properly. Amlactin is a great lotion for super dry skin, too, but it can burn sensitive skin some.
gracehi 33
Salicylic acid? Are you sure? That's the active ingredient in my acne wash.
askullnamedbilly 33
It's also the active ingredient in aspirin. The more you know. But in all seriousness, salicylic acid is pretty good for exfoliating skin. It also has antibacterial properties, so it's good to use on dry areas where the skin tends to crack.
Colon_Man 17
I'll try some of these out. It's Friday so it's shopping night. Thanks, all. :)
GloUp_fml 18
When I saw this I thought of the airheads logo. Get your money back
nickie_94 18
Next time you might just want to try a sample first
fmlashl 13
you may be allergic or sensitive to some of the ingredients?
worthypegram1 13
You should try Clinique. Clinique consultants are very educated on their products and can tell you what you actually need. I am a consultant so let me know if you have questions
lolhailsatan 23
can you say shameless self-promo
PhoenixChick 26
I might be a little dense, but I'm having a hard time understanding what happened to your skin. Is it numb, or tight? if so, you might want to go to a dermatologist and get allergy tested.
Brandi_Faith 34
I don't understand what op's feeling either. Is her face swollen like a balloon?
kowsee 22
People will say anything to sell, that's what they are told to do. Not all sales people will be like that, but a lot. Just ask for a sample first if possible and try it out before buying. I have ridiculously sensitive skin, so i dont make the mistake anymore to just buy any skin product, i have to give it time. Good luck with returning it, and hopefully get something that will help with the 'retexture' of your skin!
Dawnoftime 12
I suggest you stray away from products like those...
zombiekitten87 12
Sounds more like a primer than a moisturizer. Primers will tend to make your skin feel weird so they grip your foundation better.
rebel33 10
lush regular lotions work so much better for me than fancy moisturizers. try their dream cream or sympathy for your skin! everybody raves about hour great my skin is, and that is my secret