Today, my mom refused to sign me up for a CPR class, reasoning that if I was ever put in a situation where a person was choking, I could save them using my "common sense" and "intellect." I need this class to graduate. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it's April Fool's day. I had to take a CPR class, and everything was going well. We took a break and I went to get a drink of water and started choking. They thought I was making fun of the class, and made me leave. FML
Today, my mom put me in an anger management class because I said "crap." FML
Today, my mom said if I don't get straight As in my classes this year, she'll get the school to hold me back until I do. I believe her. FML
Today, I asked my mom if I could join my friends in getting lessons in self defense. My mom told me that I didn't need them because my face was a better weapon to repel anyone. FML
Today, my mom found out I'm failing three classes. Now she won't let me go to a convention I bought passes for weeks in advance. Each pass was $45, and I bought 2 more for my friends. You do the math on that, because I apparently can't. FML
Today, I had to go take swimming lessons because my mom has a fear I'll drown and I'm totally afraid of swimming anyway and never get anywhere near water. My instructor? A high school classmate of mine. My fellow swimming classmates? 5 and 6 year old kids. FML
Today, my mom told me to do karate with her, and so I said no. Now my mom won't let me do anything until I go do karate with her. FML
Today, my mom signed me up for a swimming class to show my sister there's nothing to be afraid of. Considering I'm 17, I assumed I'd be in an advanced class. Instead, I get to spend summer blowing bubbles in the shallow end with four-year-olds as my little sister cheers me on from the steps. FML
Today, I dropped out of college and moved back home to help my mom take care of my younger siblings after our father's death. My mom yelled at me and scolded me and lectured me for throwing my life away, and said this was the last thing she ever wanted me to do. I thought she needed help. FML
Today, I'd signed up to try a workout class at the gym. However, as soon as the instructor started the class, I realized it was much more intense than I had anticipated. I ended up passing out and had to be carried out of the class by the instructor. FML
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Top comments
zandalee 20
Sounds like your Mum needs some common sense and intellect!
luminos_ 9
How about you tell your mum you need this class to graduate?
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Comments (94)
missd93 6
Just sign yourself up. If you need it that bad to graduate, you'll get up and do it yourself.
buckdharma 38
Tell her you would like to put her common sense approach into practice with a test. Ask her to lay down on the floor and pretend she has stopped breathing. Ask loudly," does anyone know cpr?" Leave her laying there and go and make a ham sammich.
sonnyboy93 0
I run into burning buildings for a living. Wld you want me and my buddies pullup in a fire truck andguess on how tosave you..... you should pretend to choke and seewhat she does
tareuh 4
I'm not sure why to you need your mom to sign you up when you can do it yourself.
Michele2luv 8
Looks like someone forgot to give your mom the rescue breath when she needed CPR that one time . . .
VannahJane 17
In that case, OP's mom would probably be dead
kwyk 23
Is it not the Heimlich maneuver which prevents choking? What has CPR got to do with choking? And for once I'm not just being facetious, am I right or can someone explain?
mimiminx 23
You're right. If you're managing to choke, you're still breathing - once you stop, time to start the CPR.
kwyk 23
I think of choking as blocked airways, so just clear the airways and bingo? Unless it has taken too long I guess.
Enslaved 38
I once took a CPR course. They also taught the Heimlich maneuver. (: I really should take the class again to refresh my memory. It's free some places. (:
StaceeeP 23
you're right, however you're not supposed to use the Heimlich maneuver anymore, you should bend them forwards and hit them between their shoulder blades with the palm of your hand
toon_girl 12
Over here in the UK, you give 5 slaps first, then give abdominal thrusts which are the same as the Heimlich but named differently.
b_rizo 6
let's hope your mother never needs saving
misslifeguard 7
Rember that when she's dying
kwyk 23
Yes. I'm sure, when his mother is dying, (s)he will think of this moment. It's always so satisfying to be able to say "I told you so".
Silver_89 9
If you're near graduation, aren't you old enough to be making your own school schedule? Why is your mother doing it for you? Just sign yourself up for the class.
holly_fly 34
People aren't always 18-19 when they graduate. I personally started college at 17, so my mom had to sign EVERYTHING for me, even a paper so I could walk with the rest of my classmates at graduation. It's possible (s)he is in the same situation.
holly_fly 34
He's gonna be with me forever... And I know that. I don't think it. He really is the one
cl4ptp 18
Sign yourself up. Take some responsibility OP!