Today, my mom refused to sign me up for a CPR class, reasoning that if I was ever put in a situation where a person was choking, I could save them using my "common sense" and "intellect." I need this class to graduate. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, it's April Fool's day. I had to take a CPR class, and everything was going well. We took a break and I went to get a drink of water and started choking. They thought I was making fun of the class, and made me leave. FML
Today, my mom put me in an anger management class because I said "crap." FML
Today, my mom said if I don't get straight As in my classes this year, she'll get the school to hold me back until I do. I believe her. FML
Today, I asked my mom if I could join my friends in getting lessons in self defense. My mom told me that I didn't need them because my face was a better weapon to repel anyone. FML
Today, my mom found out I'm failing three classes. Now she won't let me go to a convention I bought passes for weeks in advance. Each pass was $45, and I bought 2 more for my friends. You do the math on that, because I apparently can't. FML
Today, I had to go take swimming lessons because my mom has a fear I'll drown and I'm totally afraid of swimming anyway and never get anywhere near water. My instructor? A high school classmate of mine. My fellow swimming classmates? 5 and 6 year old kids. FML
Today, my mom told me to do karate with her, and so I said no. Now my mom won't let me do anything until I go do karate with her. FML
Today, my mom signed me up for a swimming class to show my sister there's nothing to be afraid of. Considering I'm 17, I assumed I'd be in an advanced class. Instead, I get to spend summer blowing bubbles in the shallow end with four-year-olds as my little sister cheers me on from the steps. FML
Today, I dropped out of college and moved back home to help my mom take care of my younger siblings after our father's death. My mom yelled at me and scolded me and lectured me for throwing my life away, and said this was the last thing she ever wanted me to do. I thought she needed help. FML
Today, I'd signed up to try a workout class at the gym. However, as soon as the instructor started the class, I realized it was much more intense than I had anticipated. I ended up passing out and had to be carried out of the class by the instructor. FML
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Top comments
zandalee 20
Sounds like your Mum needs some common sense and intellect!
luminos_ 9
How about you tell your mum you need this class to graduate?
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Comments (94)
perdix 31
You are neither mature nor resourceful enough to graduate if you can't sign up for your own goddamn class! And it's not CPR anymore, it's CCC and you're not supposed to call the anti-choking maneuver the Heimlich anymore. Apparently, Dr. Heimlich's family objects.
curlstar 6
This is true, but I've been told to call it the "abdominal thrust" maneuver instead. Wouldn't you prefer that too, Perdix?
3yellowzebras 19
The family get royalties every time the word heimlich is used, we say abdominal thrusts in the UK to avoid paying said royalties ;)
holly_fly 34
I've never heard of CCC... And I'm a certified lifeguard... With a certification good for another year.
DanielleinDC 34
Did you tell your mom that you need this to graduate? And that CPR is a rather specialized technique to help someone who has stopped breathing? Heck, I understand that some medical professionals have to take continuing education courses to ensure they know the proper procedure. It's not "common sense and intellect" that will let you know what to do. Your mom, I'm sorry to say,is an idiot.
skyeyez9 25
Forge your mom's signature on the permission slip and take the class. You need to graduate.
sweetbliss3 37
Why do you need mommy? Can't you sign yourself up?
simsgirlgem 25
question is it moms sig you need or will dad or a guardians work cause if your mom doesn't get this is to graduate she is not worth your time and may she choke on a pascatti and die
ladybuglet 22
Or you know, you can be responsible and sign up for the class yourself.
protectyournuts 5
Your mum fails at life
CanCann 16
Not if your common sense is only as good as your mum's. No offense op, just common sense.
downer3498 4
Does she realize that CPR is for people who are dying? The Heimlich is for people who are choking.
_W00H00_ 6
They teach the Heimlich in CPR classes.
akiahara 14
CPR could kill someone who's choking, but, you know, same difference.