Today, my purse was stolen from my bag while I was on the train. The thief will be surprised to find that it wasn't my money purse, but in fact my "period purse". Hope they find tampons useful. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I bought a box of tampons and went to the store restroom to insert one. I then put the box inside my purse. On my way out, I got stopped by security, who yelled at me to empty my purse. He grabbed my bag, spilling the tampons everywhere. Apparently, he thought I was stealing. FML
Today, I was mugged while changing my tampon. The mugger took everything, including the fresh tampon. FML
Today, I was expecting my period. To avoid the embarrassment of everyone in the office finding out, instead of putting tampons in my bag, I hid one in my bra. It fell out while I was coming back from lunch. I am now known to all as "The Tampon Dispenser". FML
Today, I used a public bathroom. I hung my purse up on the hook on the door. Two minutes later, a hand reaches over the door and steals my purse. I got robbed while taking a crap. FML
Today, I went to retrieve my stolen wallet from a train station. After I collected it, I returned to the place where I'd parked my bike, only to find that my bike had been stolen. FML
Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on the subway. FML
Today, I found a wallet on the train. I called the owner, who said he would come around and pick it up. When he finally did, he looked inside and screamed that his money was missing, and that I was a dirty thief. I never took a cent. He's filing theft charges against me. FML
Today, while sitting on the toilet, I noticed there was no toilet paper left, so I dug through my purse to use my one and only pad as a substitute. It clogged the toilet, and I started my period ten minutes later. FML
Today, I went for a job interview. Before giving me a tour, the manager pointed to my purse and said, "Better leave that in my office." I didn't know why it was safer in her office than on my shoulder, but I complied. Later, I went to buy coffee and discovered that all my cash was missing. FML
Today, I went to the Salvation Army to donate some clothes. As I was handing over the 4 huge bags that I had carried for 10 blocks, while 6 months pregnant, somebody stole my purse. FML
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Top comments
Murilirum 23
Ah bloody hell!
MirandaShaee 6
Tricked ya!
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Comments (83)
ComoEsJuan 24
He only strikes periodically.
Lilxpie 18
The toilet paper in your picture is questioning to that statement
raininginseattle 9
They make great tea bags for vampires
Gho5tk3y 17
Thanks for putting that image in my head, gotta go spoon out my minds eye now. Lol
perdix 31
To a man, that's known as a "question mark-exclamation point purse," as in "What the ****?!?!?!"
MiloBear 11
You mean an interrobang purse?
perdix 31
#31, almost, except at that time of the month, there's no banging going on :D
sunnyray812 42
You were pretty lucky there, but it still sucks that you lost some of your needed stuff. I wonder what the look on the thief's face would be. :)
itsmecutiepie 17
Today, I stole some lady's purse. Expecting to find a lot of cash, I called an expensive restaurant to take my girlfriend out to in advance. When I checked, I didn't actually steal any money. I stole her tampons. I can't cancel the date. FML
perdix 31
In Soviet Russia, FML reverses you! *Lowers sunglasses* First!!!
jdeezy01 13
Maybe the thief was a girl and needed your "period purse" just as much as you did.
itsmecutiepie 17
She'd have her MONEY to buy new tampons/pads. Getting stolen from (is that correct English?) is never a pleasure, (unless it's like a celebrity stealing from you and they get caught and you get a huge refund, but then again, why would someone rich and famous steal?) but I'd have my feminine hygiene products stolen over my money anytime.
TheMatone 8
These jokes aren't funny at all. Period.
mbuck87 19
Correct
SWC_Penguin 17
Sounds like it was accidental on your part, but you can plan for this! When traveling through Europe this summer I had one backpack with an easy-to-pickpocket area on it. I intentionally kept my dirty socks and boxers in there. At one point I noticed that someone had totally opened it in a train station. They had neglected to steal anything, though.
cakefete2 31
Maybe the thief saw all those tampon commercials and was like "i can ride bikes, climb mountains, go swimming... with these?"