Today, my purse was stolen from my bag while I was on the train. The thief will be surprised to find that it wasn't my money purse, but in fact my "period purse". Hope they find tampons useful. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I bought a box of tampons and went to the store restroom to insert one. I then put the box inside my purse. On my way out, I got stopped by security, who yelled at me to empty my purse. He grabbed my bag, spilling the tampons everywhere. Apparently, he thought I was stealing. FML
Today, I was mugged while changing my tampon. The mugger took everything, including the fresh tampon. FML
Today, I was expecting my period. To avoid the embarrassment of everyone in the office finding out, instead of putting tampons in my bag, I hid one in my bra. It fell out while I was coming back from lunch. I am now known to all as "The Tampon Dispenser". FML
Today, I used a public bathroom. I hung my purse up on the hook on the door. Two minutes later, a hand reaches over the door and steals my purse. I got robbed while taking a crap. FML
Today, I went to retrieve my stolen wallet from a train station. After I collected it, I returned to the place where I'd parked my bike, only to find that my bike had been stolen. FML
Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on the subway. FML
Today, I found a wallet on the train. I called the owner, who said he would come around and pick it up. When he finally did, he looked inside and screamed that his money was missing, and that I was a dirty thief. I never took a cent. He's filing theft charges against me. FML
Today, while sitting on the toilet, I noticed there was no toilet paper left, so I dug through my purse to use my one and only pad as a substitute. It clogged the toilet, and I started my period ten minutes later. FML
Today, I went for a job interview. Before giving me a tour, the manager pointed to my purse and said, "Better leave that in my office." I didn't know why it was safer in her office than on my shoulder, but I complied. Later, I went to buy coffee and discovered that all my cash was missing. FML
Today, I went to the Salvation Army to donate some clothes. As I was handing over the 4 huge bags that I had carried for 10 blocks, while 6 months pregnant, somebody stole my purse. FML
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Top comments
Murilirum 23
Ah bloody hell!
MirandaShaee 6
Tricked ya!
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Comments (83)
MiMiLove96 10
At least the got a good surprise! Maybe they won't steal another woman's purse :P
timmy257 8
Could have been a female theft.
BerylliumSphere 3
*looks for FML post that reads 'today I stole a purse from some lady. Thinking it was full of cash I was very excited until I opened it up and it was full of tampons' fml.*
yourmurderscenex 13
I don't know why someone rich and famous would steal, 29! Let's ask Winona Ryder.. shall we?
pooldude 24
Sounds like the FML of his life not yours
Gho5tk3y 17
Lol that thief is gonna be pissed, Karma for him. Yls op, I hope the purse was a cheap one and you don't have a desperate need for its contents before you can resupply.
mohamed_H 21
More like F*** his life!
militarybrat 21
U win ma'am, you win.
jw90 18
I can imagine the FML they'd post. Today, I stole a young ladies purse. I opened it thinking I'd find cash and fine jewelry. I didn't. It was full of tampons. Anyone need some? FML
BJA_fml 4
Tomorrow, we will see an FML post that reads: 'Today I stole this chick's purse and instead of finding cash, credit cards, and electronics, all I got was tampons. FML'