Today, my boyfriend realised that I’m from the part of Louisiana where we hunt gators for food, and dumped me because he doesn’t want to be a city boy who ends up fathering redneck kids, and having to sail through swamps to visit the in-laws. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me for refusing to have anything to do with "our" pet snake. The same snake I told him not to buy for his son a few months ago, because I knew the kid would get bored with it and dump the responsibility onto us. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. Why? Because I became a vegetarian. Apparently, he doesn't believe in "not eating meat." FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me during what was supposed to be a romantic getaway at a remote log cabin. FML
Today, the guy I really love, and who apparently loves me too, told me he just can’t be with me because he’s moving away to buy an oyster farm. FML
Today, my new boyfriend is such a city boy he couldn’t handle one night of pretend camping in the garden. Apparently, it was too cold, he ran out of Diet Coke, and just generally got bored, so he went back inside to watch TV in bed, but sure, he wants to hike in the mountains with me. FML
Today, my boyfriend made me feel like shit because I didn’t feel like going fishing, and compared me to his "fake" friends, even though every day for the past two months, I’ve gone every time he’s asked. But anytime I suggest we do something different, he shuts it down. FML
Today, after agreeing to marry my boyfriend, he started spouting crap about converting to his religion, and how I’d need to take lessons from his mother on how to be a proper wife to him at all times, like, EXCUSE ME, WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU’RE TALKING TO? DUMPED. See ya later, douchebag. FML
Today, I got dumped by my boyfriend. He said it was because he lives two hours away, but I think the ultrasound photos his other girlfriend posted proudly on his Facebook wall are the real reason. FML
Today, my boyfriend took me home to have dinner with his parents. I couldn’t eat a single bite after watching his mom let her three dogs taste all the food off her hands, while she also licked her own fingers while cooking. Later on, he dumped me for being rude and “too high maintenance." FML
Today, the girl I've been dating dumped me after she found out I'm originally from Alabama. Apparently she doesn't want to date someone from a "foreign country". We both live in Michigan. FML
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Top comments
voltroz 18
Glad you doged a bullet
Bogrbon 27
I've had fried gator once as a city boy, and it was tasty. And I can say for certain, having to navigate the swamps and bayous to see my in-laws would be a major improvement. Either way, you seem more reasonable and civilized than he does. =)
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Comments (8)
voltroz 18
Glad you doged a bullet
ahabsfan 17
You wore crocs didn’t you?
Bogrbon 27
I've had fried gator once as a city boy, and it was tasty. And I can say for certain, having to navigate the swamps and bayous to see my in-laws would be a major improvement. Either way, you seem more reasonable and civilized than he does. =)
Yudith 28
I had crocodile in a restaurant once, and it tasted like fish on steroids. I want to know your recipe so I can give them.
Brightside86 31
This actually sounds like fun, I'd sail through a swamp. If that's the worst thing about the inlaws I'd call that a win.
Jerome C. Boyd 6
Girl you need to dm me. Gators and swamp omg
spinspinsugar 12
I'm a city kid myself so I get it. still lame of him to dump you like that, though.
randybryant799 21
You are way better off without him. He sounds like an ass.
Hippiechick 5
Maybe he doesn’t like the idea of killing a dope ass animal