Today, my cat let out the biggest moan I have ever heard, while we were both in the living room. My dad heard and accused me of watching porn. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while at home, I accidentally let out a big, loud fart near my dad. When he asked what the noise was, I blamed it on the cat. I remembered too late that we don't have a cat. My dad caught on quickly and grounded me for lying in front of him. FML
Today, I had my girlfriend over to meet my parents. After dinner, we were in the living room talking. My dad thought it would be funny to grab our cat, stick it down his shirt, then pretend to give birth to it, with sound effects. FML
Today, my mother talked shit about me to the cat while I was in the room. FML
Today, my cat managed to lock my dad and me outside of our house. FML
Today, I heard a scream that sounded suspiciously like my cat when he's just had a nightmare or is otherwise in a state of extreme distress. I found him chilling on my couch, so I walked back to my room, when I heard the scream again. I ran back and he was still chilling. It was my neighbor's son screaming outside. FML
Today, I woke up to noises from downstairs. I practically pissed my pants and called the cops. Turned out it was just my cat being a dickhead in the living room. FML
Today, I thought I was home alone, so I started singing to my cat. After a half hour of this, I finally stopped. Then I heard applauding. I turned around to find my parents standing in my doorway. FML
Today, I was in the bathroom trying to unclog my constipated ass when my cat pushed the door open and walked in. She sat and stared at me for a good 10 minutes. Then, as if she had seen enough, she started loudly meowing for no reason. It was like she was judging me for reading a book she didn't approve of. FML
Today, I farted so loud that my cat thought that I was growling at him, and bit me in self-defense. FML
Today, my mom kicked my dad out of the house and told him not to come home again. Why? I started watching some porn on my computer, forgetting I was still connected to the bluetooth speakers in the living room. My mom thought it was my dad, and I didn't have the balls to admit the truth. FML
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Top comments
Andatop 16
Sounds like your dad has a guilty conscious
carolyn_m 19
How does a cat moan sound the same to a human moan? That's what I want to know
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Comments (51)
darryaz 9
I used to have a dog that moaned in her sleep. I would wake up in the middle of the night thinking the neighbors were having sex but it was just my dog moaning.
Ashwathi 21
That sucks. Once, my mom thought I was watching ****, but it was just Gossip Girl.
Domonator 16
I thought kitty **** was illegal...
tdawg91 17
When will people learn? Cats ruins lives!! They're ass holes!
Exodiafinder687 58
A cat is fine too.
Che_Likes_You 12
My cat loves to sleep and he does it as often as he can. He seems to enjoy it cuz when he relaxes he lets out a really throaty, loud moan that really does sound like a woman moaning. We've only had the cat for a few weeks so my dad hadn't heard it before :)
Fishin_for_Coins 7
Don't blame it on the cat,not cool.
IWishIWasObama 12
tell him you'll put it back in his life rare when he's done
whatwhyhoo 10
Why would the dad think watching **** is bad?
stayr4d 12
**** her right in the....pussy?