Today, like every month, I have to play hide and seek. Every month? Yeah. My cervix somehow moves around inside me, and if I want to bleed into my menstrual cup and not around it, I have to find and catch my cervix first. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, like every month, I'm able to tell when my period is going to come, down to the exact day. It becomes increasingly smelly, even before I've started, to the point where everyone around me can barely stand it. I can't do anything to get rid of the stench before it's actually started. FML
Today, I used a menstrual cup for the first time. I couldn't get it out, after what seemed like ages of trying. I had to ask my boyfriend to help me. He'll never look at me the same way again. FML
Today, like every day, I'm an intersex woman. I can't orgasm, have no vagina, and can't have my own kids. Every new partner I have requires an embarrassing explanation and biology lesson because no one knows what intersex means, even though it's quite common. At least I don't get periods? FML
Today, I was expecting my period. To avoid the embarrassment of everyone in the office finding out, instead of putting tampons in my bag, I hid one in my bra. It fell out while I was coming back from lunch. I am now known to all as "The Tampon Dispenser". FML
Today, I'm apparently so desperate for companionship that my body has subconsciously synced my period with the girl who works in the cubicle adjacent to mine. FML
Today, I realized that without fail, even if I'm not supposed to get it, I get my period just in time for vacations. FML
Today, I discovered that every time my period ends, I queef loudly and uncontrollably. I’m literally too embarrassed to see a doctor about this. FML
Today, I recently found out that I have a uterus and ovaries, even though I was born male. I told my doctor about my monthly pain, he did some blood tests and body scans, and then told me I have a uterus and ovaries but no vagina or birth canal. That explains my monthly pains since my teen years. FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me to start using a period tracker app so I can tell him which week of each month he needs to "stay the hell away" from me. FML
Today, I went into a gynecology appointment to find out my IUD had apparently fallen out without me knowing. What tipped me off? My pregnancy test. FML
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Top comments
bleachedraven 14
It seems like a cleaner solution to menstrual bleeding than other options, not sure why it would be viewed as disgusting. Just my opinion.
Doom_Kitty 14
Uhm...why? Everything that you're able to learn about these should actually lead to the exact reverse conclusion. It's the most hygienical solution for menstruating women.
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Comments (7)
Darlene King 3
Ha ha ha; I had a mental picture of you on a horse with one of those rodeo ropes going "Yeehaw"!
CTscan 8
ewww that's one thing I find disgusting is the menstrual cup
Doom_Kitty 14
Uhm...why? Everything that you're able to learn about these should actually lead to the exact reverse conclusion. It's the most hygienical solution for menstruating women.
bleachedraven 14
It seems like a cleaner solution to menstrual bleeding than other options, not sure why it would be viewed as disgusting. Just my opinion.
RichardPencil 32
Just yell, "Ollie, ollie, in come free" and your cervix will have to come out. Ick.
slkeithh 14
Uhhhh. What
ekk100 8
Ok, so your menstrual cup shouldn't be anywhere near your cervix, it should sit above the ridge of muscle in your ****** and collect the blood by blocking the entire area of the ******. It sounds like either you aren't using the right size of menstrual cup, it's not fully unfolding once you put it in, the little pin holes are blocked, or you haven't cut enough of the stem off so it's being moved around as you walk.
Taurus_ChicKa 37
Can you use a pad instead?
emmalou 19
interesting! Thanks for the share