Today, my dad used to be suspicious of boys like all dads are, but just now he kicked me, actually kicked me up the ass, to get me out of the house for a date. His parting words were, "You’re 32 years-old and still living with me. Marry him, marry anybody, please, before I’m dead." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I happily told my parents that my boyfriend proposed to me last night. My dad's response? "Marry that goofy bastard and you're out of the will." FML
Today, my boyfriend picked me up to take me on a date. Just as we were about to drive away, my dad ran out of the house in his underwear and started yelling that he'd kill my boyfriend if I wasn't back home within the hour. FML
Today, my boyfriend went to ask my dad for my hand in marriage. All I could make out from the door was mumbling, until profanities started flying. My boyfriend shouted "well she's a SINGLE bitch now!" and stormed out of the house. My dad still refuses to tell me what happened in there. FML
Today, I'm 29 years-old, yet my dad still thinks he can be the stereotypical overprotective dad of a teenage daughter who tries to scare off her boyfriends. If it wasn't for my mom who defends me, I would go no contact with him. FML
Today, my dad had a chat with my fiancé, telling him he can do better than me, and to think carefully before going through with our wedding. FML
Today, I was eating at a restaurant when a man came up to me and said, "You're pathetic for having lunch with someone that much older than you." My dad immediately got up and punched the man in the face. My fiancé's parents had to walk in the door right as it happened. FML
Today, my father lectured me for dating a man with "no future", even though he's entering a PhD program next year at a top university. Meanwhile, my dad's last relationship was with a 20-year-old hooker who ended up stealing his credit cards. FML
Today, my father is living with me because he's broke, but sometimes he has temper tantrums and calls me a son of a bitch. I can't stand to be name-called when I support him 1000%, and then we got into a violent physical fight. We both end up hurt, so I want to kick him out of my house, but I can't because he won't leave. FML
Today, my boyfriend's dad came onto me. I was shocked and awkwardly tried to exit the situation. My boyfriend then sprang out and started shouting at me. Apparently, it was a "test" to see if I would still be attracted to him in 30 years. I failed. What. The. Fuck. FML
Today, I learned my 40 year old father is marrying a girl barely a year and a half older than me. She told me not to be afraid to call her mom. I was torn between punching her in the face and vomiting. FML
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Top comments
JackWood 21
Or you could just get your own home or apartment and some cats!
DLBL 23
YDI. It's not 1950. You can respectfully get out of your dad's house, for crying out loud.
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Comments (3)
DLBL 23
YDI. It's not 1950. You can respectfully get out of your dad's house, for crying out loud.
JackWood 21
Or you could just get your own home or apartment and some cats!
tiptoppc 21
I have 5 cats, my own place and a wife! OP should at least manage to bag a cat! They’re damn near easy and free to get! Especially when the neighbors kid lets theirs out.
Taurus_ChicKa 37
I mean, yeah, 32 is pretty old to still be living with your parents. But at the same time, I know the economy and housing market is crap right now, so I'd like to give you the benefit of the doubt that you just can't afford to move out. But still, yeah, might want to start figuring something out...