Today, I was locked out of my house so I texted my cousin to come over and help me get in. She came over, stood on a chair and lifted me through the smallest unlocked window possible. Sadly, this was my bathroom window and I ended up head-first into my toilet. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found myself locked out of my house. I had to squeeze myself through a tiny window around the back. While hanging upside down, my hood fell over my head. My dog ran through to investigate the noise and ravaged me thinking I was a burglar. I then fell and broke my wrist. FML
Today, I was locked out of my house. With no other available option, I decided to try and ninja my way through a window. However, as it turns out, I would make a terrible ninja. I now have a sprained ankle and a broken window. FML
Today, after a few beers, I was exiting the bathroom of a loud house party when the door jammed. I had to climb out through the shower window. It was fool proof until my foot got stuck. I hung outside the house upside down in the dark yelling for an hour before someone figured out where I was. FML
Today, I got locked out of my house. After trying unsuccessfully to jimmy the lock, I managed to climb in through the kitchen window. I soon found out I had an effect on the door after all; it won't open at all any more, even with the right key. FML
Today, I was locked out of my house. After hours of trying to break the door, I found out I accidentally left a window open. The door, however, still needs to be replaced. FML
Today, I found myself locked in a bathroom for the second time in my life. This time at least I was at home. I live alone. I had to break the window on the shower door and crawl out. Now, I need to crawl in/out to shower, brush my teeth and more. FML
Today, I left work early, and discovered I was locked out of my house. I subsequently had to use a spoon I found on the ground to smash the bathroom window. I cut my leg on the glass when I climbed through. While inspecting the wound, I felt a lump in my pocket. It was my house key. FML
Today, the door to my daughter's room became jammed and wouldn't open while she was in the room. Being resourceful, I grabbed my ladder and climbed up to her window, only to end up stuck in her window. I'm not sure what was worse, getting stuck, or being laughed at by my neighbors for a while. FML
Today, I got locked in a restroom because the doorknob jammed. I had to text my coworker to come and rescue me. He brought half the office with him because, “It was too funny not to see.” FML
Today, I was in my backyard. When I wanted to come back in the house, I tried to open the sliding door. I knew that my brother locked me out so I banged on the door very hard, causing the glass to break. It turns out that the door wasn't locked. FML
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Top comments
allmidnighteyes 11
So? it's your own toilet. If you didn't flush, or left discharge all over the seat, it's your own fault.
andyroxs 2
You wouldnt be alive if you fell that hard into the toilet head first.
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Comments (77)
1m_b0r3d 0
lol its been said before but.... I hope you flushed xD
Masenko7 12
EWW!
Jincos 0
"#1 makes me laugh. He's to stupid, even for this site.
Myspace_fml 0
YDI. Its called keys. Go get some. ;)
skyeyez9 25
Take a nice long, hot shower and you will be as good as new! As for your dignity, I can't help much.
epicwinmaster 0
FAKE. assuming that your window is at a normal hight like everyone elses, you would hit your head pretty hard, knock you out, and drown in your own filth. CASE ******* CLOSED! if youre gonna make
Sniper3000 0
well the water softened her fall a little....
triplethreat13 0
Toilets are not disgusting and unsanitary if you clean them often enough. Sure, your dignity has been demolished, but as for your health and that situation, it's not that bad.
lahp 0
wow.. u could save bullies time ... you stick your own head in the toilet xD
iFruit 0
"Love your hair, girl! Where did you get it done?" "The toilet. But thanks!" "Oh, so that's what that smell is..."
amanbaby 0
actually #1 has a point. I went on a prison visit for a boy scout merit badge and they have mirrors that reflect toward the toilets because people have committed suicide by jumping from the water tank into the bowl headfirst. it breaks their neck, and they were only 2 feet above the bowl. the window should be taller than that, so I call fake.
andyroxs 2
GOSH. THANK YOU. Finally somebody sees what im getting at. If one falls headfirst into the bowl itself without any support from the arms or whatnot, theyd most likely break their neck... so my post (the one that is now buried (#1)) isnt as stupid as all these people make it out to be.