Today, I have a massive headache, thanks to my asshat of a roommate, who decided to balance our tea kettle on the top of the kitchen door. When I stumbled into the kitchen, half-awake, it came smashing down onto my head. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after having a pretty rough day, I decided a nice, hot shower would be great. Ten minutes in, the shower head apparently couldn't take the water pressure anymore, and it flew off and hit me in the face. FML
Today, my head has been killing me. I've had the worst headache ever. Happy that I could finally sleep, I plopped onto my bed and bashed my head on the wall. FML
Today, I woke up so hungover that when I went to the bathroom and caught sight of myself in the mirror, I screamed, slipped backwards, and smashed my head against the rim of my bathtub. FML
Today, while trying to relax because I'm sick and I feel like crap, the shower head attachment fell and hit me on the head. FML
Today, my alarm went off. I reached to swat it, missed, slipped, smacked my face on my dresser, and fell on the floor. As I picked myself up off the floor, I hit my head on the open top drawer of my other dresser. In 30 seconds of consciousness, I was attacked by two pieces of furniture. FML
Today, I was in pain due to overdoing it at the gym yesterday, so I thought a hot shower might help. Not only was there no hot water because of my sister's hour long showers, but I slipped getting out and hit my head. Now the pain is worse. FML
Today, I was taking a shower for the first time in my new apartment. The shower head broke off the wall and slammed onto my head, while spraying water everywhere. I tried to stop the water, but only stopped the cold and got burnt by the hot. FML
Today, I managed to spill piping hot oil all over my kitchen floor, thinking it was too hot to clean right then and there I left it for a few hours to cool. I forgot about it, and slipped over in it bashing my head into my cupboard handle. FML
Today, my kitchen is trying to kill me. So far, I've hit my head three times on cupboards that opened themselves, cut open my hand on the microwave door when it slammed shut, and burned my cheek with the "heat-proof" oven mitt when I pushed the hair off my face. FML
Today, I finally decided to do something productive and clean my room. When I went to pick up the first thing off my floor, I hit my head on my desk and gave myself a concussion. FML
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Top comments
Nightwing98 22
Wait doesn't everybody keep their tea kettle there?
IOmnomHard 10
That's when he gets a frying pan to the balls when he's sleeping.
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Comments (98)
Zoomali 1
Ouch. Headaches are awful. I'm sure your roommate didn't mean to hurt you. Feel better.
PrimeEvilTahir 24
Whatever happened to that potato & onions FML? I recall reading it but I can't find anymore.... :S
ohcheriecherie 20
Penguinbitch, do you realize that nearly every comment you make gets buried?
jennagostini 1
Asshat haha
nancyschmancy 9
I say do something wicked but not evil, boiling water would be jail time. Stinky stuff in his pillow case, pickers in the toes of his shoe or socks, liquid heat in his under wear, Nair in his hair gel, pin holes in his condoms. I have more if you want them!
bellatrix0805 2
Asshat? Nice
pjf4e 3
You need a better roommate.
athlete1990 4
you should get knocked on the head again for using "asshat" in your story.
pokefan813 16
Good to know, 60. What is your point?
isamisis 9
I'm the Alpha when I have a roommate. Guess what? Time for a new roommate.