Today, I've told my boyfriend several times that my toothless grandma can only eat pureed foods, but likes any kind of soup, "as long as there's no meat in it." Guess what was his idea of a gift for her when meeting her for the first time? A steak. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mother-in-law gifted us with a new microwave. I told her it was too much and we didn't really need it. Her response, "I just want my grandkids to have food that tastes good for once." I'm a chef. FML
Today, I spent a solid four hours and over one hundred dollars preparing a nice fancy meal for my new girlfriend. A delicious three pound rack of ribs with a sweet and sour marinade. Steam broccoli with melted cheese. Home made buttermilk biscuits. I serve the meal. She doesn't eat beef. FML
Today, my mom tried a new recipe for dinner. She proudly served what she called "gourmet vegetable stew." One bite later, I had to fight every urge to not gag. She asked me how it tasted, and with a straight face, I said, "Delicious!" She then asked for my honest opinion, so I told her it was, um, "an acquired taste." She hasn’t spoken to me since. FML
Today, I watched my girlfriend slowly floss her teeth, and then eat what showed up on the floss. FML
Today, my grandma sent me a Valentine's Day card. For years she's been hinting at me to lose weight. The card: a picture of cookies on the front and a gym membership inside. FML
Today, I realized just how spoiled and immature my boyfriend is when I asked him several times what he’d like for dinner. Getting no answer, I made steak, potatoes and salad. He then sulked and refused to eat it, since he wanted spaghetti and meatballs instead. FML
Today, it was my first time meeting my fiancé's parents. My future mother-in-law had cooked steak, hearing it was my favourite food. I somehow managed to bite my tongue, and then blurt out "Fuck!" just after she asked me how it was. FML
Today, I took my grandma to the hospital to visit her estranged husband who she hasn't seen in years. After a thoroughly disasterous visit, we're waiting in the carpark and my gran strokes my face and tells me I have a lot of facial hair. I thought she was going to thank me. And I'm a girl. FML
Today, my grandma wasn't feeling well, so I went to her house to check on her. After about 20 minutes, I knew she was feeling better when she looked at me and said, "So, do you have a boyfriend yet? I pray every night that I get to live long enough to see you with a boyfriend." FML
Today, my grandma got a new boyfriend. She dumped the old one because "His wife was taking too long to die." FML
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Top comments
millsjoshua949 12
So he meets her for the first time and whips out a steak as a gift? That's very odd.
RichardPencil 32
Makes a lot of sense. Grandmas love to watch boys eat. He brought her a steak so she could make it for him and watch him eat it. That's top-notch entertainment for grannies!
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Comments (5)
RichardPencil 32
And your grandma can't eat it because of the heat, right? What else could it be?
millsjoshua949 12
So he meets her for the first time and whips out a steak as a gift? That's very odd.
RichardPencil 32
Makes a lot of sense. Grandmas love to watch boys eat. He brought her a steak so she could make it for him and watch him eat it. That's top-notch entertainment for grannies!
weeping_willow 25
Now I see why granny was constipated for 2 days...
RichardPencil 32
Aw, man! I was going to make a steak reference in the constipated granny story, but you beat me to the punch!
Haley Michelle Boyer 2
Puree the steak for her. Just add gravy in the puree machine