Today, I was at a party with a few of my friends. We saw a guy walking around with bright pink lipstick all over his mouth, so we made a bet to see who could match the lipstick to the girl first. I won. It was my girlfriend's. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was home alone, so for fun I put red lipstick on. A few minutes later, my doorbell rang. I managed to get it off before I got the door. I saw my neighbor, and had a long conversation with him. After which, I came inside and realized I had lipstick all over my teeth. FML
Today, my friend and I decided to wear a new red lipstick. The guy I like turned around, looked at her and said, "Red is a really interesting, sexy color. Pretty bold. Not bad." and he smiled. I waited, smiling also, only for him frown and say, "Your teeth are REALLY yellow." FML
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend and my best friend making out. She claimed he was just tasting her lipstick. FML
Today, my girlfriend bought this hot pink Chanel nail polish. Bored, she thought it would be funny to paint my nails. I finally gave in and let her paint my toe nails. After she left, my buddy calls to to see if I can give him a ride. I forgot I had a swim meet today. FML
Today, I had my first kiss at a party. Later, I was told that the guy had been dared to kiss the ugliest girl in the room. FML
Today, I asked a very attractive girl out, then later I ended up talking with her. One of my friends comes up to us and points out that I'm beet red and, "blushing like a bitch". She notices and laughs. FML
Today, I helped out with makeup at my daughter's high school play. As one girl walked past, I told her that she'd smudged pink lipstick all up the side of her face. Turns out it was a birthmark. She cried in the dressing room for half an hour. FML
Today, I did the "suck your finger" trick in the car to prevent my lipstick from getting on my teeth and halfway locked eyes with a random dude outside. FML
Today, I saw a cute guy walking out of a restaurant. When he saw me, he smiled and to be a bit flirty I bit my lip. Too bad it started to bleed like hell. FML
Today, my lips were dry and chapped, so I asked if I could use some of my friend's chapstick. She didn't mind, so I quickly put some on. Only later did I notice that my lips were sparkly. Turns out it was glitter balm. Now everyone calls me "princess." FML
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Top comments
tygerarmy 35
Sometimes it doesn't pay to be the winner.
Wakachulak 22
What did you win?
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Comments (128)
jerryj 27
My good sir, don't you mean "ex-girlfriend"? Cheerio!
perdix 31
Yay! You won! Congrats!!! Maybe your girlfriend will kiss you so you can wear that lipstick, too. Wouldn't it be funny if her mouth tasted like the other guy? LOL, what are the odds?
ChenEighty 20
It's like a threesome in your mouth!
EmmaMK 35
That's disgusting!
sunnyray812 42
I doubt OP wants to think about that.
Red__Forman 7
You are a very attentive boyfriend if you recognise your girlfriends lipstick on a random dude. Not many guys would notice. That quality is wasted on a cheating *****. Time for an upgrade.
BRLHP 24
I don't think he knew it was his girlfriends lipstick until after the game had started. At which point the whole objective of the game would have been to find that lipstick.
iiTzNeeNerz 26
Gives "kiss and tell" a whole new meaning....
JVIarijke 24
For your sake, I hope there was another girl with the same lipstick at that party. Follow up please?
rokemay 10
I think if that was the case, and it wasn't actually his girlfriend's lipstick, there would be no need to post the FML in the first place
Knightchaser27 25
Maybe she let another girl borrow her lipstick
Enslaved 38
52 may be right. My girl friends borrow my makeup all the time. Now if the girlfriend's lipstick is all smeared like she's been kissing another dude? That's another story! Smeared lipstick is very difficult to fix even after you touched it up.
daemonsparta 16
#52 you're just giving excuses
perdix 31
#9, ah, so sad. You spelled pyrrhic right, but you got the concept wrong. If the OP had asked the other guy to hit on his girlfriend so he could win a few bucks from his buddies, but end up losing his girlfriend, THAT would be a Pyrrhic victory!
BlackPowderMedic 5
Hrmmm... walking around with lipstick smeared all over your face and allowing the guy you just smeared said lipstick on to walk around in public? Sounds like a classy group right there.
Lonely_islands 5
She may have been drunk -shrugs-
olpally 33
I'm pretty sure the op knows it was his girlfriends lipstick. Otherwise this wouldn't be on FML... Ditch the cheating bitch op. Good on you for paying attention to details!
perdix 31
Maybe your girlfriend coincidentally likes the same shade favored by transvestites? Let's not go throwing around wild accusations here; you could be wrong. But, if you are right, what's her number? ;)
Welshite 40
I can understand why you'd want to call her, perdix. Good lipstick shades are hard to find nowadays.
perdix 31
And expensive, too! If you can get that perfect shade for free, all the better, right?
Soloman212 28
I can't say for sure, Perdix, but doesn't this FML apply as well? He won the bet at the cost of finding out his girlfriend is a ****. (Unless you consider it a good thing compared to her being a **** but him not knowing.)