Today, three days after my "friend" tried to cut all my hair off while I was asleep, she tried to poison me with a random chemical that was under my sink. She then told me she wanted me dead because I touched her senpai. Her senpai is my brother. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was napping when my little brother cut off huge chunks of my hair. He thought it would turn me into the older brother he always wanted. He's 8. FML
Today, I woke up to my bratty younger sister cutting through my hair with a pair of scissors. I now look like a freak, and my mum bitched me out for being angry, all because my sister claimed she'd been sleep-walking. Her demented smirk said otherwise. FML
Today, my little sister used scissors she got from school to cut my hair in the middle of the night while I was asleep. Now it looks like someone went at my hair with a chainsaw, and my school's dress code doesn't allow me to wear a hat or anything else to cover it up. FML
Today, my brother was telling me about my "sweet" and "pure" ex-girlfriend. Three stab wounds have already proven otherwise. FML
Today, my brother woke me up by trying to light my bed on fire. FML
Today, I woke up to my psycho roommate trying to baptize me in my sleep. FML
Today, my brother threw a mug at my head and threatened to stab anybody who came at him because I woke him up for school. I called the police after threats were thrown at my mom, who then lied to them and said I overreacted. I'm currently getting the silent treatment from my family. FML
Today, my 7 year old brother decided that it would be fun to cut off my hair. I woke from a long nap after working the late shift, to about 15 inches of my long blonde hair all over my bed and floor. I now have bloody bald spots and really choppy hair about 3 inches long. He got away with it. FML
Today, I slept over at a friend's house. We decided to dress up as ninjas and play a trick on her younger brothers, sleeping in the basement. While sneaking down the stairs, in the dark, her mother came home. Thinking I was a robber, she beat me with a lamp. FML
Today, my mum started yelling at me for leaving scissors on my desk, which my five year-old sister found and chopped all her hair off. She had a lump of hair as proof. After three minutes of her yelling, me crying and apologizing, she laughed and said she was joking. She'd just given my sister a haircut. FML
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Top comments
Callyn 47
Weaboo or actual Japanese person? Either way, get a restraining order.
BurnInDemonFire 39
Tell him to help you sort it out, and that he needs to keep her away from you until she's calmed down.
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Comments (30)
NostalgiaFreak9 43
Next time she tries to kill you, be sure to have your rasengan ready.
Vita_1 30
Uhhh that’s attempted murder. You can press charges.
GUYMAINE 16
You need to go to the police.
zuckerburg 21
Attempted murder is a criminal offence. You should go to the police and have your "friend" arrested. Maybe that will tone down the crazy enough for her to become a contributing member of society and live out a normal life
A Frenchy in Eire 31
She tried to poison you and she sent you a death threat. I'm pretty sure, that's enough for you to press charges and get a restraining order.
Ksweety_fml 27
If I were you, I wouldn't be around her or trust her with my food.
Balthios 6
If all else fails and she has a knife, you've got grounds to stab her.
Cody Vertigo Bonthoux 15
bust her head in and tell you brother his girlfriend is psychotic
Paul B. Gyurcsanszky 14
Time to get a new roommate!
KIEdekka 14
wow, a real life yandere