Today, I was enjoying some much needed serenity while I ate lunch in an empty park. To my surprise, an older, clean cut man in a suit sits on the bench next to me. Without saying a word, he unleashes the most foul of farts I've ever witnessed, gets up, gives me a nod, and leaves. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was on a bench enjoying the sun, when a guy comes and sits next to me. Next thing I know, he lets out a loud fart, then looks my way with pride. I stare back in shock. He then says to me, "Yeah, that just happened," and walks off. FML
Today, I was sitting in a secluded corner of a coffee shop and felt extremely gassy. Thinking I'd be safe, I let out a pretty nasty smelling fart. Next thing I know, a cute guy is approaching me and asked my name, but all it took was for him to inhale once and he bolted. FML
Today, I was alone at the office. Having held it in all day, I let out the longest, worst-smelling fart of my life. The owner of the company, investigating the odd noise, opened my office door. When the stench hit him, he walked backwards all the way to his office, staring at me, in silence. FML
Today, I was standing in line at a coffee shop when the guy stood behind me let out a huge fart, then walked away. The rest of the line turned around, thinking that it was me. An old lady started to lecture me about being rude, while the guy who did it laughed behind his mask in the corner of the shop. FML
Today, my boss let me sit in on a board meeting. It was awesome until the guy next to me let out a vile fart, then looked at me in disgust, causing the others to look at me in disgust too. When I told my boss what really happened, he told me to grow up and stop blaming the other guy. FML
Today, while I was sitting in a waiting room to be seen, my service dog (who was tucked under the bench I was sitting) let out the most vile, silent but deadly fart. The person near me retched and heaved, and I got death glares while someone sprayed their old lady perfume to mask the smell. FML
Today, I noticed a guy checking out my ass in the mirror behind the bar where I work. He was cute, so I thought I'd put on a little show. I bent over to reach for something near the floor, which caused me to let rip a series of uncontrollable farts, like popping bubble wrap. He quickly left. FML
Today, while on lunch break, my fat, old co-worker walked into the break-room. I managed to block out his perverted heavy breathing, but had to leave when he began emitting a terrible odor that smelled like cheesy, sweaty molding feet. I barely held onto my lunch. FML
Today, I really had to take a shit. My coworker had gone on lunch break and I was alone in the shop. There were no customers, so to the can I went. Cue a long series of loud wet farts and splashes, followed by the flush. I emerged to see the horrified face of some old lady and her grandson who'd heard everything. FML
Today, I woke up at 7am next to the man I swore I'd never get intimate with again. After trying to get back to sleep despite my shame and disgust, he ripped the loudest fart ever. FML
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Top comments
DaGirlz 0
Sounds like a pleasant man.
NoMercy_fml 0
I fart in your general direction
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Comments (204)
BAbyR 0
um eww. i hope you left. and didnt stay sitting there
spoo 24
FYL, but he is every mans hero :o
necromancerlord 0
Well, yes, but that's why one must always be prepared, and carry important items, such as stinkbombs, along with phone, money, I.D., keys, matches, utility knife, etc.
blinkingstarlet 15
lolol exactly what i was thinking lmfao
NoMercy_fml 0
You win this round sir. But we will meet again.
jillz 0
He was polite enough not to unleash that in a car or house. Impressive.
jackdaniels_fml 0
lmfao! that sucks lol and #5, bahahaha! good job!!! Your mother is a hampster, and your father smells of old elderberries! :P
GothamKnight 0
HAHAHAHAHAHA! That's funny!
roflitsemma 0
Haha, that is epic.
ajscw 0
LOL how random but also funny but keep ur doors locked
18scarymary18 0
Perhaps he always farts on that bench at lunchtime, and seeing as it is now a tradition to him he saw no reason to not go and fart on his bench, just because you were enjoying your lunch there. In fact I would go as far as to say we could have designated 'Farting Sites' in public places, to minimise embarrassment when someone has to let rip!
blinkingstarlet 15
hopefully those areas would be well ventilated lol. air fresheners all around and odor-eliminating exhaust fans on top of the "room" lol! i love it