Today, I flew to Florida with my grandma. She tried to go through airport security with a pocket knife in her backpack. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my mother-in-law had concealed in her suitcase a kitchen knife and plastic bags of MSG, salt, and other seasonings (AKA unidentified white powder) because she doesn’t trust foreign food, and wanted to cook her own food on holiday. Airport security were not amused and we missed our flight. FML
Today, I was out with my grandma when a pair of very shady guys approached us in the street, hands in their pockets. Without breaking stride, she pulled a knife out of her handbag and told them they'd better keep walking. They did. What the fuck, gran? FML
Today, my mom and I went to catch our flight to Jamaica. She ended up being detained and questioned, because she packed hairspray, shampoo, drinks, basically half the shit you're not allowed to have in your luggage. We missed our flight. FML
Today, I was boarding my flight when I got pulled aside for looking suspicious. As she was opening my bag, I said, "Be careful, I jammed so many clothes in there it may explode." I was then strip searched for my trouble. FML
Today, I went with my girlfriend to the airport for some much needed vacation time. We arrived on time but were stopped at the gate when they told me I didn't have the right passport. The plane left without me. My girlfriend did too. FML
Today, I missed my flight because I was stopped by airport security. They found "small, suspicious, spherical objects" in my purse on the X-ray. After pulling me out of line, taking my purse aside and carefully opening it with tongs, they removed the bag of grapes I had packed as a snack. FML
Today, I flew across country to college. My luggage did not. FML
Today, I enjoyed a lovely family dinner, but my irritating grandma kept trying to buy my purse off me, and kept picking it up to look at it. When I got home I realized all my cash and cigarettes were gone. FML
Today, after visiting my mom, she stuffed a bunch of pads in my backpack so I'd have some at my dorm. When I was going through security, I was stopped and ended up missing my flight. Apparently the jumbo pads my mom sent look exactly like packs of cocaine when they go through the X-ray machine. FML
Today, I was supposed to catch a 4:40 flight to New York. My 5 year-old son handed me my carry on bag as I left the house. Turns out he had put his older brother's BB gun into my bag to "keep me safe." I missed my flight after I was detained and strip-searched. FML
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Top comments
Doortje 30
Grams is protective of her grandchild :)
idontknowyou123 0
Bingo gets crazy somtimes... you never know if the bitch next to you will shout bingo or shank you...
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Comments (117)
CoolBreezeKing 8
Your granny is a gangster, that's why she had it
TheBonzaiGirl 0
I've done it too, 20 times at least!
Meowingtons500 18
My grandma keeps a rifle in her kitchen. To defend herself. It's always loaded.
Meowingtons500 18
38- If someone hijacks a plane using a toothpick as their only weapon, I'm pretty sure they deserve the plane.
GimmeFive 10
Grammy's bangin!
iv651 9
She sound pretty awesome
swimmersrok 0
"Come on! Seriously Grammy?" "You never know who your gonna meet. I will protect you Jimmy!" " Grammy! You are like 90 years old and in a wheelchair! Get real!" "Minor details, Minor details"
Minnesota_Chelse 0
Hahaha why does your grandma have a pocket knife?! We can barely trust my grandma to use scissors by herself!
miz_kamakazi 11
Grandma will shank someone!!!
MexicanObama 15
Nigga granny gonna stab some hoes up
swimmersrok 0
Wow. You took a funny FML and just ruined it for me. Great job. (in case you can't tell, im being sarcastic and ur bs comment is nothing to be proud of.)