Today, I disconnected and hid the WiFi router and told my kids and husband I wanted an hour together doing family stuff. I failed miserably. Rather than spend an hour together, they spent nearly 2 hours separately tearing the house apart for the router. Now the house is a mess and I’m still lonely. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my wife and kids all yelled at me because I was stood at the bookshelf looking for a book, blocking the Wifi router with my body, and their signals all dropped to almost zero, and had stopped them watching videos. FML
Today, I threatened my kids I’d turn off their WiFi unless they did their chores, so my eldest chimed in, "Please, we changed the WiFi password months ago in case you tried to threaten us like this," then turned off my WiFi, which I need to work from home. I had to beg a 12-year-old to let me work. FML
Today, and for the last two weeks, my husband has been playing hide and go seek with the internet router and my iPad to, I guess, try and punish/annoy me. I keep finding them, use them when he’s not home, and put them back. FML
Today, my wife screamed, cried, called me lazy and a bad parent, and threatened to leave and take our four kids. All I did was ask for an hour to myself every day for some private time. FML
Today, I tried to get my son off of the couch by turning off the wifi. Afterward, I went to watch tv. Turns out he got me back by turning off the cable. FML
Today, after a long talk with the kids, I finally got all the chores around the house done early so we could have a fun family weekend. My wife decided to be a wet blanket and insisted we needed to deep clean the already clean kitchen. Three arguments later, everyone is sulking, and I'm working in the kitchen alone. FML
Today, we spent an entire day without being able to do work because our internet connection was down. Turns out, only the router had crashed and nobody bothered to reset it "to avoid doing further damage". FML
Today, my wife called me at work, screaming in rage that she hated me, that I was a useless lump, that she wishes we'd never met. Did I have an affair or burn the house down? Nope. I set up the kids' backpacks for school today and forgot a library book that was due today. FML
Today, I discovered my husband and kids wait until I’m out of the house before doing fun activities like water fights, board games, Xbox sessions, football, and the like. Apparently I’m such a buzzkill and moody sore loser, they can only have fun without me around. FML
Today, all three of my kids snuck out of a family reunion because they were bored. I was furious, until I found out my husband had also gone with them. After I was done yelling at all of them, I realised I was mostly jealous they didn’t take me with them. FML
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Top comments
BDove 17
I know you want to spend time with them, but you have to realize that unless they’re doing it WILLINGLY, they're not going to be happy. Try rewarding them (with their favorite food, dessert, etc) for wanting to spend time together instead of a “punishing” them (turning off the router, taking their phones, etc).
Sertorius 10
You united them to work together for a common purpose! Mission accomplished!
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Comments (8)
BDove 17
I know you want to spend time with them, but you have to realize that unless they’re doing it WILLINGLY, they're not going to be happy. Try rewarding them (with their favorite food, dessert, etc) for wanting to spend time together instead of a “punishing” them (turning off the router, taking their phones, etc).
2deployments1divorce 11
Good job hiding the router.
rainbowdonnareed 18
Why not plan something? This wasn't a good idea. As soon as they started looking for the router you should have given up. At least you're not going to be bored cleaning the house
Sertorius 10
You united them to work together for a common purpose! Mission accomplished!
Brightside86 31
You either die a hero, or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain
Alc627 3
Next time change the password. Then plan an activity with a puzzle or clues that will lead to the answer.
tounces7 28
Honestly you failed miserably because of your obvious lack of knowledge about technology. If you'd understood things well enough you'd have just disconnected in a subtle way so that "service appears to be out". Then they wouldn't have looked for it, they'd have just had to wait till it came back on.
randybryant799 21
Geez. Did you really think that forcing it was the way to go? Not good parenting.