Today, I finally felt ready to make love to my boyfriend for the first time. It all went great, until I tried putting the condom on him. In the process, I managed to nick his penis not once, but three times with my nails. His eyes brimmed with tears and he completely lost his erection. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. He was so nervous, he broke down in tears after failing to unclasp my bra after multiple fumbling attempts. Mood? Ruined. FML
Today, while finally about to make love with my long-term boyfriend, he came from putting a condom on. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time, and I tried to be sexy by raking my nails down his back. I guess I did it a little too hard, because he shrieked in pain, leapt off me, and limped around the room cursing and whimpering. Mood ruined. FML
Today, I finally lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It hurt like hell, was over in less than a minute, and he tried to reuse the condom for a second round. FML
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. After he'd repeatedly told me not to worry about bleeding, and reassuring me that he'd take care of me, he passed out halfway through. FML
Today, I finally felt ready to lose my virginity with my boyfriend. Unfortunately he was too embarrassed to go and buy some condoms, and suggested in all seriousness that we use a sandwich bag instead. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex. Foreplay was amazing, but as soon as he started to get it in, he lost his erection because he was too nervous. He's a 30-year-old virgin and this has happened at least 10 times. FML
Today, I finally felt ready to have sex for the first time, with my boyfriend of nearly 8 months. When I told him, things became intimate and pants came off. He then looked at me and said, "Yeah, I can't do this." The rest of the night was spent in awkward silence. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having a good time. Perfect. Afterwards, he stupidly tried to pull the condom off with way too much force. It burst everywhere, splattering our faces, the bed sheets, and even the wall. Absolute disaster. We just stared at each other and laughed. Never again. FML
Today, I tried for the first time putting a condom on my boyfriend using my mouth. I freaked out, swallowed, and started choking on the condom. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
SuperPizzaMan_fml 11
More like FHL. Poor penis.. :(
littlexlune 16
Better luck next time!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (157)
annie_nk 23
It's reasons like this why I let my husband put them on himself. I don't wanna risk hurting him or breaking a whole pack.
Metallica36176 16
Exactly. Completely agree. Show him you can keep your hands and mouth busy *wink* *wink* while he puts it on. I HATE doing that and I suck at it as well. *No pun intended*
Wizardo 34
Next time take it easy and cut your nails dammit >…< this is the male equivalent of a girl getting 'nicked' by a cat.
Truths 8
Not everyone can be pro at putting condoms on like you can apparently.
Metallica36176 16
What comment were your replying to and who lit the fuse on your damn tampon? He made a comment. That wasn't even a smartass comment so really?! And I completely agree 15, cut and file your dann nails so they dont hurt. x_x
iAlissa 34
I agree with #99. He made a valid comment, no need to be an asshole about it.
kathryn14 19
Don't use your fingertips. Use your index finger and thumb to make a circle, and roll it on! Or just have him do it.
ZeroPath5 16
Well at 17 years old you sound like a true pro at this
kathryn14 19
Maybe I am
schalk 12
stalking little girls on the internet?
jaysvn 2
three strikes and he's out.
BrodieMike 4
How? It just rolls on. It isn't complicated.
KiddNYC1O 22
You try putting on a smaller condom
mweb8416 11
Minor, try again another time, atleast your using protection.
Truths 8
At least* you're*
KinkyCurly 13
These corrections are becoming annoying. Get over yourself.
Metallica36176 16
@78 Speak for yourself. At least there is a chance people will learn.
30361 10
Are you satan?
metalhedcop 6
That's why u let him put it on
SWC_Penguin 17
I'm pretty sure that after the second time I'd be saying "You know what...how 'bout I try it this time?"
Drifting 21
Cut your nails! Guys don't notice that stuff! Better luck next time OP!