Today, I had to fake enthusiasm when my girlfriend told me she's pregnant. She has a nasty streak and I was planning to break up with her, but if I left her now everyone would think I’m the bad guy. I actually think she’s capable of killing me if she gets angry enough. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, three weeks after my girlfriend told me she was pregnant, she admitted it was a lie. Turned out it was just a test to see if I'd break up with her or not. I didn't, but I did just break the bank buying all the things we'd need for an actual kid. FML
Today, I actually thought of faking my own death to get away from my girlfriend and her insane, overbearing family. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she's pregnant and I did not take it well. She had planned to record my happy reaction for Facebook; instead she got video of me bursting into tears, and trying to talk her into an emergency abortion. She sent it to my parents to punish me. FML
Today, I caught my girlfriend cheating on me. Now she's threatening to kill herself if I don't forgive her. FML
Today, my girlfriend's mom pulled me aside and started telling me about how her daughter was extremely depressed and suicidal before she met me, and how happy her family is because of me. I was planning on breaking up with her within the next week. FML
Today, I saw my girlfriend after 10 months of being away. She was pregnant. She actually had the brass balls to tell me I needed to "Man up and be this child's father." Get the fuck out, you cheating whore. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 2 months found out she was 4 months pregnant with her ex's baby. She told me I could leave her and she wouldn't blame me, but I decided to stay with her. She told me she loved me and then dumped me because she needed to be with her baby's daddy. FML
Today, I found out why my fiancé has been treating me like garbage lately. He thought that me getting fed up and dumping him would save him the unpleasant task of having to confess to the affair he’s been having with his coworker. We’re expecting our baby girl in 4 months. FML
Today, I told my girlfriend that my ex is pregnant, but not to worry because it’s not mine. That’s how I inadvertently told her I’ve been cheating on her with my ex. FML
Today, my girlfriend told her parents that she's pregnant. We have never even come close to having sex, but she told them I'm the father. Not only is my girlfriend cheating on me, but her father now wants me dead. FML
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Top comments
ahabsfan 17
Who is the father?
redvibes23 14
I hate to say it but ask her to take the test in front of you. Maybe she sensed you were thinking about leaving and this is how she’s trying to make you stay. Good for you tho that you want to stick around for the kid if she is pregnant.
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Comments (30)
TooDrunkFunn 2
DO NOT STAY!!!!! That’s not good for anyone in the situation. Support the child but do NOT put yourself through that because divorce with a child ******* SUCKS.
TooDrunkFunn 2
Don’t stay! Get out now. Please.
leximichelle 13
Uhhhh, break up with her and pay child support or file for joint custody and get out (assuming it’s your kid). Stay with someone for that type of reason NEVER goes well.
WardenWolf 26
A bit late for that, but don't stick your dick in crazy.
hdisnfjs91 21
Are you sure she's even pregnant? Seems like she could be the type to fake it especially if she suspected a break up.
Taurus_ChicKa 37
Yeah, sorry, not a good reason to stay with someone who makes you unhappy and fearing for your life. Plus, are you sure you're even the father? I'd find that out before anything else.
Ariane Bolt 6
Seriously, get out. Everyone involved is better off when you're not pretending to care about them. Just walk away. Get a paternity test if she hits you for child support (solid possibility), or maybe just sign away your rights. But don't pretend to care. That's the worst thing you could do.
millsjoshua949 12
Then why in God's name did you get her pregnant? ydi
Bubbilility 27
That's what we call an abusive relationship. Get out, if you really think you're in danger, get a police escort to help you retrieve your belongings. If they don't listen to you go in with facts of people who are killed or beaten up by their ex-spouses.