Today, I woke up early to bake cinnamon rolls for a party. I came home later to find the whole tray spilled onto the floor, most of the rolls eaten, and my dog sitting happily nearby. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I tried my hand at baking homemade individual apple tarts. While taking them out of the oven, I dropped the entire tray on the floor. My dog acted like it was Christmas in August and scarfed at least half of them. FML
Today, I spent hours baking a multi-layered, detailed cake from scratch for my mom's birthday. It took two seconds for my dog to devour the cake while I picked up a spoon I dropped on the floor. FML
Today, I came home to find my dog had learned how to open our fridge. He ate the birthday cake I was saving for a friend's surprise party, and to add insult to injury, he'd also apparently thrown the barely digested cake up all over my bed. FML
Today, I went home for lunch. Upon opening the door, I smelled something horrid. My dog had opened his cage, eaten all the dog treats, and had diarrhea all over my bed and bedroom floor. FML
Today, I came home to find the dog had learned how to open our stair-gate and kitchen door, devoured the entire fruitcake I'd made for a special occasion, and then vomited said fruitcake all over the fabric sofa. FML
Today, I was trying out a new pizza recipe that I saw online. I made the dough, spread the sauce, and added my toppings. As I was about to put it in the oven, I realized I'd forgotten to preheat it. No big deal, or so I thought. I then knocked the entire fucking uncooked pizza face-first onto the kitchen floor. The dog ate better than I did tonight. FML
Today, I'd finally got home from a 15-hour shift at work and wanted to lay down and eat. I poured myself a bowl of cereal, went to my room, and sat it on my bed. My dog then jumped right on my bed and yanked the sheets off, causing the cereal to fly everywhere. FML
Today, I tripped over my dog while carrying groceries. As I laid on the floor surrounded by smashed eggs, spilled milk, and a bruised knee, my dog stole the bread from the bag and and ran off. FML
Today, I helped myself to some homemade biscuits that had been left in the kitchen. I thought they looked a little odd, but they tasted pretty good. I found out later they were homemade dog treats. FML
Today, after working an 11 hour shift, I decided to treat myself to a delicious Krispy Kreme doughnut. When I got home, I sat down, put my feet up, poured myself a cold glass of milk. My dog jumped on my lap and vomited all over my doughnuts, stared at me, then bit the doughnut out of my hand. FML
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Top comments
KhaleesiDannie 26
Well at least someone was happy
LilMissCanadian 22
FYL, that must have been awful to see. YDI to your dog when he gets fat.
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Comments (57)
Spentpoet 26
Your dog must be the roll troll. Hopefully the people at the party will understand. :)
Steve97 32
At least they tasted good :D
ronnixoxo 18
sounds like my st. bernard. he eats anything within his reach, which is everything.
ArmchairAnalyst 9
Sounds like every dog, ever..
Nezah 6
Well you should have put higher
Guy1009 15
As a dog owner you should understand your dog and know if food can be left out. YDI
nickie_94 18
I hope you had time (and money) to buy some instead.
atomicmrpelly 2
Well now I'm sorry for you, but you had a minor domestic incident, that's all. I wouldn't say it's "**** my life" worthy...
LPac5295 27
Wonder who did it. Roscoe did you see who ate the cinnamon rolls?
Sora_McKain 36
That's funny because my mom has a dog names Roscoe.
IssacB 14
... but can you really chastise the dog? Cinnamon rolls are delicious to all, except the poor souls allergic of course
Queen_of_Night 20
Yep, my dachshund/lab learned to climb furniture to get food off the counter. She's eaten a pound of red vines, gotten into a bag of saltwater taffy (she ate 12 whole pieces and chewed on the rest) but it was the 3 loaves of homemade bread that was the doozy. The red vines turned her poo bright red, the taffy wrappers were in the back yard but she ate more bread than her body could handle. It started to ferment and out living room was decorated in vomit the next day. I'm surprised she hasn't eaten herself to death. She's crated now.
mrlawlor7777 26
That's sad. You put the poor dog in a crate instead of being responsible and not leaving snacks out. You should switch that.
AmbrosiaFan74 4
That poor dog. Don't blame him for you being irresponsible.