Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my parents over lunch. Unfortunately, I showed my dad her Facebook profile beforehand and he wouldn't stop making cracks about her duckfacing. It started with, "Don't let her eat the bread, it'll puff up in her stomach and kill her", and ended in tears. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my parents. The first thing my dad did was comment that given how pretty she looked in our photos, and compared to how she looks in real life, she's amazing at using Photoshop. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. Dinner was going well until her dad secretly fed the asparagus to the dog under the table, and then "discovered" what a childish thing I had done. My girlfriend believed him. FML
Today, I proudly told my elitist dad that I now have a beautiful girlfriend. He didn't believe me, so I showed him her Facebook. He demanded that I stop seeing her, saying that the duck-facing in her avatar was the hallmark of "a lower form of being" who would only ever shame our family. FML
Today, I finally invited my girlfriend over to meet my oddball parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "So, you're the silly girl who agreed to date my dickhead son." It went downhill from there. FML
Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my dad. I thought it was a good idea at the time, at least until he took her aside for a private chat. During the chat, he told her all about my two previous marriages and advised her to "get out while you can". FML
Today, I took my girlfriend to meet my parents. My dad thought it'd be hilarious to act surprised and ask me if I'd already dumped the girlfriend I introduced him to yesterday. She slapped me and stormed out of the house before my dad could tell her it was a joke. FML
Today, I brought my girlfriend home to introduce to my parents. My dad thought it would be hilarious to fill some clear bags full of flour, then pretend he was sampling a cocaine shipment when she arrived. She excused herself very quickly and isn't answering my calls. FML
Today, I was introducing my boyfriend to my parents for the first time. I meant to say, "Mom, Dad, this is Tom." Instead, I said, "Mom, Dad, this is Mom." My boyfriend is now jokingly reconsidering our relationship, and my parents won't stop making fun of me. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. Within minutes, they said I needed to leave. Their reason? Apparently, I was mocking her dad's speech impediment. I also have one but they wouldn't believe me. FML
Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my parents. They thought it would be funny to pretend that they're nudists. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
rileyrae0000 23
She's kinda asking for it by duck facing but that is a little messed up of your dad for a first impression
Dave_Davington 34
I want to buy your dad a drink.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (108)
Enzymatically 14
lol lighten up learn to take a joke
davincidasecond 24
Lol, that actually made me laugh. Your dad is hilarious. Sorry that he roasted your girlfriend so hard though.
zakun_fml 9
At least your daddy is funny ?
hank0311 10
Perfection. Parents diversions of kids relationships, check.
Fmlreadermostly 20
Bad dad jokes to break the ice and oops! He didn't just break it, it shattered and he gave her the dad joke hypothermia. Sorry to hear about it, and I hope things get worked out well for you.
ACTIONbl00dROCK 18
How can he be so rude? If she wants to, let her post her ******* duck face selfies, don't judge.
embracingsilence 15
And that's why we keep things to ourselves. Duck faces are stupid, but it's not worth making fun of it and ruining someone's self esteem. FYL for having a dillweed dad.
GrumpyGrinch 23
YDI for dating somebody as stupid to, first, make a duckface photo, AND publish that photo.
joshi42 16
Well that's just taking an advantage of an easy target - if she was by the table, she would be like a sitting duck for him.
Badkarma4u 17
I see what you did there.
raygray20 7
yea ur life sucks that happened but she deserved it, maybe she will think about the dumb things she does b4 she does and how they will affect the future, that goes with everyone lol