DIY

I don't know my strength

By Anonymous - 25/05/2022 04:00

Today, I got home to my wife surrounded by plaster, old cement and bricks, and a fucking massive hole in the kitchen wall leading through into next door's kitchen. Apparently she tried to put up a shelf and the wall “fell down”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 955

You deserved it 99

Thanks, now **** off

By Dry - 18/03/2017 16:00

Today, after moving into my new house, my partner's father came to give us his old sofa. Now, an hour before he has to leave, he's half-completed 3 DIY jobs we didn't want done in the first place, and smashed my water inlet pipe. I have no water and a destroyed kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 934

You deserved it 447

Cool family vibes

By Anonymous - 15/09/2024 12:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my husband and son had their first DIY project. Less than 30 minutes later, our son’s crying in his room. Turns out my husband is just like his dad. “WHY ARE YOU STANDING DOING NOTHING? PASS ME THE THING. NOT THAT THING, THE OTHER THING. HERE, I’LL DO IT MYSELF. PAY ATTENTION, GOD DAMMIT.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 529

You deserved it 125

Pick on someone your own size

By FluffythePink - 07/10/2023 12:30

Today, I was fighting to change a toilet seat when it suddenly came free and, thanks to physics, I promptly smashed myself across the bridge of my nose with the edge of it. I now have a purple nose and it's starting to spread to my eyes. I now have to explain to people over the next week or so how it happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 578

You deserved it 169

FINNBY boss

By danny - 03/10/2024 20:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I spent two hours building an IKEA bookshelf. When I was finished, I realized it was inside-out. There was no way to fix it without completely taking it apart again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 180

You deserved it 470

Lesson learned

By Anonymous - 10/12/2023 18:00 - United Kingdom

Today, whilst showing my kids how to replace a light bulb safely, I gave myself and electric shock, and dropped the bulb. Twice in a row. In hindsight I should have let my husband do all the DIY-based educating, since I now have a glass shard in my big toe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 139

You deserved it 631

What a tool

By Anonymous - 02/07/2020 17:01

Today, my husband told me he didn't want me to get power tools to build things, because he thinks a miter saw and a sanding orbiter are more dangerous than guns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 350

You deserved it 180

Bad DIY FML

By Liah - 28/03/2022 10:00

Today, I was rearranging the cabinets above the washer and dryer, and the whole thing fell down on top of the washer. I had just put my clothes in the washing machine too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 744

You deserved it 103

Shortass

By Anonymous - 11/07/2024 12:00 - United Kingdom - Dartford

Today, while I was on holiday, my dad let himself in and did some of the DIY I’ve been putting off. He is 6”6 and I am 5”2 so he didn’t realise certain things need to be at my height, not his, like the bathroom mirror, the kitchen shelves, and the hallway coat hooks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 505

You deserved it 127

BIKES

By Anonymous - 14/04/2022 06:00 - Germany - Neusalza-spremberg

Today, my bike is freshly back from a costly repair, so naturally this means that the slight rasping of the chain that used to bug me has now turned into a situation where one third of the gears can only be used with the aid of a screw driver, which I now carry with me on every ride. FML

I agree, your life sucks 853

You deserved it 155

Watch people poop

By Anonymous - 28/07/2025 09:00 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, I decided to fix my squeaky door by following a DIY YouTube video, because the noise was really annoying. I took the entire door off its hinges... and couldn’t get it back on. I had door-less bathroom and my roommates had many questions before actually asking if they could help me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 110

You deserved it 474

What? How? Why?

By Anonymous - 18/03/2021 05:01 - United States - Boise

Today, I smashed my finger with a hammer. A finger on the hand holding the hammer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 714

You deserved it 315

Thanks dad…

By Anonymous - 06/09/2013 16:10 - United Kingdom - Godalming

Today, my car broke down. My dad insisted he could fix it, but screwed up in the process. After finally getting the car towed to a mechanic, I was told that I'd only needed a new water pump, but thanks to the damage my dad did, fixing it all will cost me a small fortune. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 028

You deserved it 3 797

Ready for take off

By Bawbag - 19/08/2023 10:00

Today, I attempted a DIY home improvement project: installing a ceiling fan. After hours of sweat and frustration, I managed to hang it up, only to realize I'd installed it upside down. Now, instead of cooling, the fan blades are dangerously close to becoming an unconventional chandelier-slash-helicopter. At least I can say my home decor is truly "uplifting." FML

I agree, your life sucks 212

You deserved it 583

Micromanagement

By Anonymous - 14/06/2023 03:00

Today, my son screamed at me to fuck off. Apparently, because he only gets one day off a week, he’s sick of me saving up all my projects and forcing him to help me on that one day. He’s now barricaded himself in his room with a big DO IT YOURSELF on the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 178

You deserved it 2 794

Anthropomorphism

By Anonymous - 19/07/2024 00:00 - United Kingdom - Southend

Today, I spent hours making an elaborate bird feeder for my backyard. It was finally ready, and I proudly hung it up, imagining the birds chirping happily. Instead, a squirrel discovered it within minutes, devoured all the birdseed, and then gave me a smug look before knocking the feeder to the ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 420

You deserved it 169

Disproportionate responses are the new black

By Anonymous - 25/10/2024 00:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my son nearly burned the house down with a lighter and an aerosol. His excuse? He was killing a massive spider carrying an egg sack. My wife hates spiders so she refuses to punish him and gave him £20. But sure, dear old Dad will spend money replacing the wallpaper and curtains, no problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 456

You deserved it 97

DIY FML

By Anonymous - 29/06/2012 22:46 - New Zealand - Christchurch

Today, I was trying to put some new curtains up. I couldn't make sense of the instructions, so I decided to wing it. I spent a frustrating half hour fighting with it, and just seconds after I succeeded, the curtain rod gave way and slammed straight onto my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 966

You deserved it 18 518

Constant surveillance

By mister fixit? more like mister fuxit - 25/11/2024 09:00 - United States - New York

Today, I made the mistake of taking apart and fixing a malfunctioning toaster in front of my five year-old. Two hours later, he tried to take apart a lamp that was plugged in. He shocked himself, broke the lamp, and set the carpet on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 465

You deserved it 275

Bang on time

By Anonymous - 05/04/2022 10:00

Today, I proudly put on display the custom clock I'd spent 3 months building from scratch. It struck the hour and promptly fell off the wall, breaking my wife’s antique vase that she'd inherited from her great nana. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 045

You deserved it 258

DIY FML

By Anonymous - 02/04/2012 03:59 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, my dad told me it would be fine to use the mounting tape he'd bought to place paintings up in my newly painted room. I did, but after deciding I wanted to move a painting and pulling it off the wall, the wall came with it. Back to square one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 917

You deserved it 5 791

DIY FML

By Ally - 17/07/2024 20:00 - United States

Today, I tried doing a hair dye at home for the first time. I misread the instructions and left the dye on for twice the recommended time. Now my hair is the color of a traffic cone and brittle enough to break if I sneeze. FML

I agree, your life sucks 149

You deserved it 570

I can't believe it's not better

By Anonymous - 31/07/2024 09:00 - United Kingdom

Today, to save money, my wife decided, among other things, to make her own butter. It required cream bought fresh from a nearby farm and a lot of hand churning. I worked it out: by the time all the cream became butter, it was 4 times more expensive than Asda butter, expires faster, and tastes worse FML

I agree, your life sucks 476

You deserved it 111

Bad buzz

By Anonymous - 20/09/2022 10:00

Today, I went to fix my porch light. I have called maintenance multiple times about it, but I finally decided to just fix it myself. There was a wasps' nest in the light. FML

I agree, your life sucks 977

You deserved it 121

With friends like these…

By petra84 - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Evans

Today, I let a friend borrow a power saw. When I found it on my porch later, the blade was missing and the cord was cut. Looking closer, I realized it was his saw. He kept my new one. He totally denies that he switched them and now won't answer his door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 911

You deserved it 2 362

Perfectionist

By Anonymous - 23/02/2024 22:00 - United Kingdom

Today, we finished redecorating my kitchen. My dad has been his usual OCD self about getting it perfect, so when he noticed a shelf was just barely not level, he decided to adjust the screws. It fell off and damaged my floor, so he threw the screwdriver and cracked a wall tile. Thanks dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 529

You deserved it 103

Smells like…

By makin bacon - 08/11/2019 20:00

Today, my idiot roommate read somewhere that bacon grease could be used on squeaky doors and windows. Now, we're desperately trying to scrub the rancid goop out of door hinges and window tracks. Our whole place smells like rotten pig ass and death. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 279

You deserved it 452

Dingus

By Anonymous - 27/12/2023 06:00 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, in attempt to save a few bucks on visiting the doctor, my drunk husband tried to relocate his own disjointed finger, using a vice grip. We ended up with an $800 ambulance bill and then a welfare check from Social Services. FML

I agree, your life sucks 499

You deserved it 158

My day off

By Anonymous - 09/02/2024 00:00

Today, I was finally able to get around to a totally free day when I could do some much needed DIY around the house. Before I even started, I cut my hand on a Stanley knife almost to the bone, and had to get 8 stitches. My wife thinks I did it on purpose to get out of doing the repairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 555

You deserved it 143

How does that happen?

By Anonymous - 10/04/2023 22:00 - Unites States

Today, I accidentally super-glued my hand to my face while trying to fix a broken pair of glasses. I yanked it off in a panic, taking a patch of my face along with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 645

You deserved it 475

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The Top

Today, my evening was shot to hell when I found my pregnant wife on the floor, sobbing because we'd run out of cheese sticks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 446

You deserved it 9 074

Today, my psychiatrist asked me if I felt bad about my weight. When I said no, he looked surprised and said, "Why not?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 028

You deserved it 5 040

Today, I'm cheering myself up about being newly single by having a sleepover with my best friends. Their boyfriends have all decided to sleep over as well though, so I'm currently alone in a corridor with nothing but the sound of all my friends having loud sex to keep me company. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 996

You deserved it 4 505

Today, I was expecting my period. To avoid the embarrassment of everyone in the office finding out, instead of putting tampons in my bag, I hid one in my bra. It fell out while I was coming back from lunch. I am now known to all as "The Tampon Dispenser". FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 962

You deserved it 34 057

Today, I found out via Facebook that my older sister just had another baby, a whole week ago, whose name is my middle name. No one told me. I didn't even know she was pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 726

You deserved it 394

Today, my mother-in-law berated me for not being pregnant yet, so I yelled at her that since she guilted us into letting her move into our house, she never goes out, our bedrooms share a wall, and she has the hearing of a bat, none of which helps me or my husband have any sexy time. It’s been 4 months FML

I agree, your life sucks 607

You deserved it 220