Anonymous · 23 November 2023, 18:00 ·Kowloon, Hong Kong

SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UUUUUP!

Today, my colleagues at work sitting next to me are so open during phone calls. They always switch on their phone's speaker to the maximum volume, forcing everybody to hear what they and their counterparties say. Whilst the meeting rooms on our floor are still vacant, they don't even bother to go inside for their phone calls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 489 You deserved it 108

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Anonymous · 20 November 2023, 12:00 ·Swansea, United Kingdom

Polly wanna latte

Today, I thought I'd make my own coffee at home to save money. As I was grinding the beans, my flatmate's pet parrot decided to join the party and imitate the noise of the coffee grinder. For an hour. I ended up with a headache, a half-finished cup of coffee, and a parrot that now thinks it's a barista. FML

I agree, your life sucks 482 You deserved it 175

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Anonyme · 17 November 2023, 04:00

National Shite Day

Today, I was trying to cope with my emotions so I could hold them back, but mom made it worse by inviting my niece, who is only attracted to my sister-in-law AKA Mommy, and she will cry till she gets her way. What a fucking day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 315 You deserved it 225

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Katie · 12 November 2023, 10:00 ·United States

Baby Shark goes on the road

Today, I tried to create the perfect playlist for a road trip. I spent a long while curating it, but when I hit the shuffle button, it started playing a bunch of annoying nursery rhymes. Apparently, I'd accidentally merged my list with my nephew's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 360 You deserved it 221

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itchy · 8 November 2023, 14:00

Scratched

Today, I have scratched both my ankles so hard and for so long that they started bleeding, and they still itch. I have no idea what I’m allergic to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 449 You deserved it 124

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Unfun funeral · 1 November 2023, 04:00 ·United States

Shut up!

Today, I went to my uncle's funeral. His eulogy was ruined by an annoying little kid repeatedly talking over the pastor, who didn't pause for anything, no matter how many times his parents told him to stop. The complimentary lunch was horrible, and the hearse driving him to the cemetery got into an accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 453 You deserved it 80

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not Sesame Street! · 28 October 2023, 20:00

Doodoo

Today, I still get irrationally angry and distracted when my teacher refers to bodily functions as “poop, pee, number 1 & 2, etc.” and calls things icky. I’m literally in nursing school with an instructor who talks like Elmo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 560 You deserved it 168

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Chris · 26 October 2023, 14:00

Team building over a cliff

Today, my company held another team building event, and it's annoying. It was third event for this month only. I like having fun, but we keep losing clients and revenue. Our boss knows this, but she keeps encouraging us to "find our energy and channel it into productivity." Next week, we're going to a beach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 121 You deserved it 454

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Smokin' drinks · 24 October 2023, 16:00 ·Durbanville, South Africa

Mixology

Today, for the 20th time, I poured wine into my ashtray, while the glass was next to it. I also have the bad habit of tipping my ash into my drink. What the fuck is wrong with me? Maybe I should look at what I'm doing instead of the PC screen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 108 You deserved it 1 328

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Workworkwork · This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Whoomp whoomp

Today, I’m trying to scrape $65 together to get the cheapest glasses possible. My partner is equally upset because she wants a MacBook to replace her working laptop. I’m only looking because I’m getting headaches from how old my current lenses are. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 726 You deserved it 345

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xXrememberthisXx · 16 October 2023, 06:30

Damn you, Ikea!

Today, I attempted to assemble a piece of furniture that claimed to be "easy to build in minutes." Four hours and multiple arguments later, I realized I had misread the instructions, and half the parts were upside down. I'm pretty sure the furniture won this round. FML

I agree, your life sucks 240 You deserved it 739

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Anonymous · 13 October 2023, 06:30

False alarm

Today, my uncle called me at work, telling me to rush him to the doctor's. I get home and he doesn't"t want to go anywhere. He says he has the chills, so I turn on the furnace. Next he says he's too hot, and stripped to his underwear. I ask him to let me take him to doctor. He does nothing. Work is expecting me to bring a doctor's note tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 681 You deserved it 132

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Garage: 1 Me: 0 · 11 October 2023, 10:00 ·United States

Get bent

Today, my old ass garage door got bent while I was trying to close it. I broke nearly all of my fingernails trying to force it back into place. Time to get a new garage door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 489 You deserved it 126

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DanielleinDC · 7 October 2023, 17:30

Timewaster

Today, I learned my boss, the CEO of a multinational nonprofit, is so computer illiterate that he hadn't realized he could resize the File Explorer window on his computer, leading to days of delay of him getting work to my team, and a lot of unhappy notes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 602 You deserved it 114

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youtube · 3 October 2023, 22:00

Straight to jail

Today, I went up to a random stranger and said, "Hey, you don't know me, but I know you're about to make a huge mistake!" for a prank video. She had a massive meltdown and screamed at me. The police came. FML

I agree, your life sucks 98 You deserved it 2 142

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Anonymous · 2 October 2023, 04:00 🌶️ Spicy

Are Men OK?

Today, my boyfriend tried to use the “It’s my birthday” excuse to get access to my booty hole. Last time he used the “My favourite aunt died” excuse, and before that, the night of our fourth date, he used the “I’m drunk and can’t find the right hole” excuse. Take the hint, no means never. FML

I agree, your life sucks 724 You deserved it 297

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HateCelebz · 29 September 2023, 20:00

Annoyed

Today, I was made to do checkout training at the supermarket I work in. My third customer spent £90 on food, and whilst I was serving her, she talked about her 6 kids and her ex. Only four hours of this shit to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 351 You deserved it 653

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Not this again.... · 26 September 2023, 16:00 ·Staten Island, United States 🌶️ Spicy

The long game

Today, I visited my Grandma's house, and my uncle happened to be there. As expected, and all the time, he greeted with his signature shit-eating, "I see what you did there" face. He's been doing that to me ever since he saw me masturbating when I was a little kid. I'm 47, married, and have 2 kids now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 528 You deserved it 163

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Anonymous · 24 September 2023, 04:00

Controlling

Today, two days into our honeymoon, my mother-in-law turned up at our Spa hotel and pretended it was a huge coincidence. We are an 8-hour flight away, yet she tried to claim she had a Spa coupon about to expire, from another country. Nice try Linda you nosy, interfering bitch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 306 You deserved it 94

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mala_19 · 22 September 2023, 16:00 ·Burea, Sweden

Asshole design

Today, I had to drive through a parking lot that they fucked up so bad that you have to put your car in reverse to go around it. I have to go there 6 times a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 585 You deserved it 108

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Anonymous · 11 September 2023, 10:00 ·Brisbane, Australia

The voice

Today, I had to listen to some old phone call recordings at work, in which a certain worker had the most annoying high-pitched voice. To my horror, I discovered that they were my call recordings, so the annoying voice was my own. My colleagues all concurred they cannot stand the sound of me talking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 732 You deserved it 180

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Creepmagnet · 7 September 2023, 08:00

Dingus magnet

Today, and every day I go out in public, I apparently have a sign on my back saying, “If you’re a creepy old man, please harass and stare at me.” The best part? No one my own age has ever spared me even a second look. FML

I agree, your life sucks 611 You deserved it 162

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Anonymous · This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff ·United Kingdom

Mismanagement

Today, my boss changed some company calendar settings on my computer to see what they'd be like. He didn't like it, so he told me to change it back, then left. I have no idea what he changed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 529 You deserved it 3 801

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Anonymous · 29 August 2023, 14:00

Madhouse

Today, my husband volunteered to babysit our friends' kids while they go on their honeymoon. The problem is I hate kids, especially the younger ones who are noisy and require a lot of attention, and yet I know as the woman I’ll be expected to do most of the work looking after them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 808 You deserved it 239

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Anonymous · 25 August 2023, 14:00 ·Australia

Squeak scene

Today, I wore new shoes to work. Little did I expect, once in contact with the linoleum floor in the building, my shoes started making a squeak at every step. I sounded like a toy rubber duck every time I walked down the hallway. The whole workplace has the same lino everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 650 You deserved it 115

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clown head · 25 August 2023, 06:00 ·United States

Oh no, the humanity!

Today, I came home to find my girlfriend had dyed her hair a ridiculous bright color. She knows I absolutely fucking despise brightly colored hair on women. FML

I agree, your life sucks 300 You deserved it 1 443

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Gottabekidding · This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff ·Ashland, United States

The workplace from hell

Today, my workplace instituted a policy in which employees must stop and write down what they are doing every fifteen minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 460 You deserved it 932

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Ow ow owwww · 15 August 2023, 14:00 ·United States

Make it stop

Today, I have what is probably a cold sore on my upper lip. I also have a mustache, which keeps rubbing against it. Because of this, no matter what I do, it stings. The next few days are fixing to be very, very long and miserable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 557 You deserved it 194

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Anonymous · 12 August 2023, 06:00 ·Eagle Mountain, United States

You must conform!

Today, and for the past year, my sisters have been guilt-tripping me for not giving their kids some cousins to hang out with. I hate kids and I don’t feel bad, but it’s starting to get annoying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 004 You deserved it 113

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Anonymous · 11 August 2023, 22:00 ·United States

Be productive! At all costs!

Today, it yet again feels like everyone at my job hates me. I'm doing almost everything they do with two people on shift, while I have the solo shift, but I'm constantly told I'm not good enough. I just wanna be happy again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 802 You deserved it 158

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