Danny is pissed · 1 December 2024, 00:00 ·United States

What just happened?

Today, after a bad week I ordered a large pizza, ready to binge-watch TV. The delivery guy shows up, I hand him the cash, and he left without giving me my pizza. Exhausted, I watched him leave, like a confused puppy. I called the pizzeria; he'd left the pizza somewhere else, and couldn't re-deliver it because their driver was "done for the night.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 550 You deserved it 171

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Covid 2: Electric Boogaloo · 25 November 2024, 22:00 ·United States

Covid nostalgia

Today, I have to use toilet paper as a substitute for Kleenex, because I have a nasty cold and ran out. We're also snowed in where I live, so I currently can't go to the store to get some more. I think I now understand why people were hoarding this stuff. FML

I agree, your life sucks 337 You deserved it 167

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ninithel · 25 November 2024, 03:00 ·Hull, United Kingdom

Mother knows best

Today, I have fibromyalgia and ADHD. I either have no energy, no focus, or no energy for anything, or I burn out trying to do everything. Meanwhile, my mother is adamant that I can be "cured" if I stop eating sugar. I'm allergic to most sweeteners and she won't believe me, and thinks she knows better than my doc. FML

I agree, your life sucks 472 You deserved it 126

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caitlyn · 22 November 2024, 09:00 ·United States

Lord give me strength

Today, my adult daughter was hospitalized for severe fever, diarrhea, and fainting. The doctor couldn't find any cause other than sleep deprivation, because I started making her wake up at 7 am. I’ve never met anyone so ridiculously weak in my entire life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 234 You deserved it 865

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Anonymous · 21 November 2024, 03:00 ·Holden, United States

Controlling

Today, I was finishing a conversation with my husband. His phone rang, but he didn't take it. He said, "No, the guy said he was going to call me at 11:30 and it's 11:36. I'll call him in 3 minutes." It was then I realized that I have been the subject of this type of petty control for over 30 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 547 You deserved it 130

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Please find a new song · 21 November 2024, 00:00 ·United States

It's still a bop! It slaps!

Today, I was once again woken up to my dad blasting The Beatles' song "Birthday." He does this whenever it's anyone's birthday (in this case, my mom's) and he knows a lot of people. It was funny at first, but now it's getting old very quickly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 361 You deserved it 101

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Anonymous · 19 November 2024, 22:00 ·Tuckerton, United States

MY CHEESE!

Today, I went to work. All day, all I wanted to eat was my favorite cheese, which was waiting for me at home. I came home and someone had eaten it, then put the empty wrapper back in the fridge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 583 You deserved it 89

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Anonymous · 16 November 2024, 12:00 ·Phoenix, United States

What's his problem?

Today, I was selected to go on a business trip for the first time in over a decade. I called my brother about it, who then proceeded to call into question every single aspect of the trip, affirming that his wife did everything different on her trips. I had to hang up before he had me questioning my own employment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 378 You deserved it 85

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Can I have some sleep? · 14 November 2024, 12:00 ·London, United Kingdom

Leave me alone!

Today, I texted my mom and had to explain to her that calling me repeatedly at 2 a.m. because you're bored and want to talk is not really a good idea. Seriously, nothing happened, she just wanted to chat because she had nothing else to do. Her response to my message? She started calling me again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 457 You deserved it 98

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Anonymous · 4 November 2024, 15:00 ·Romeoville, United States

I'm so tired

Today, I'm locked out of my phone, out of my email, and out of my credit card. All websites to restore access to all of these send text messages to your phone or an app to unlock them. On top of that, I only got 3 hours of sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 376 You deserved it 104

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Anonymous · 30 October 2024, 00:00 ·Frankfurt am Main, Germany

Livin' the dream

Today, I’m finally on the very expensive dream trip I’ve been planning for months and… I have a debilitating migraine that’s making me bed-ridden. FML

I agree, your life sucks 516 You deserved it 74

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Anonymous · This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff ·Toronto, Canada

Game over

Today, I folded a stack of 2,500 brochures for the new exhibit we're putting on at the museum where I work. As I was finishing up, I got an email. The dates have just been changed, so all the brochures have to be reprinted and refolded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 742 You deserved it 2 011

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Wtfacebook · 28 October 2024, 00:00 ·Steele, United States

LET ME IIIIIIIIIIN

Today, after two weeks of not being able to log into my Facebook account, I received a prompt to change my password. I interpreted this as them saying that I was hacked, and they had simply shut it down to avoid problems, so I did. It still won't let me in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 351 You deserved it 155

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Sis in crisis · 27 October 2024, 03:00 ·Glendale, United States

Take it seriously

Today, I had to temporarily block my brother from calling me because every day for the last week or two he has called me just to yell, "THEY ARE EATING THE DOGS! THEY ARE EATING THE CATS!" before hanging up. He thinks it's hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 431 You deserved it 151

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fuck you, mum · This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff ·United Kingdom

Just stop, please

Today, marks the sixth day in a row that my mum has called me to discuss my upcoming wedding. She's obsessed and has intimidated the actual planner I hired into going along with her plans. She's slipped up twice already and accidentally referred to it as her own wedding. Just great. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 212 You deserved it 4 310

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Anonymous · 6 October 2024, 00:00 ·United Kingdom

Drama

Today, my mum found out I had a girl in my room and faked a heart attack. I know it was fake because she did the same when I came out as lesbian, when I invited a girl to prom, when I asked dad for advice on sex. I get it mum, you’re a homophobe, so stop faking heart attacks, it’s bad for the NHS. FML

I agree, your life sucks 583 You deserved it 148

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D.M · 29 September 2024, 12:00 ·Canada

PIVOT!

Today, while moving a couch and repeatedly asking my dad what he was trying to do and him ignoring me, I got my hand slammed between the corner of the couch and a doorway, because my dad shoved the couch without saying anything. I was holding the corner to stop it from falling on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 446 You deserved it 88

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Anonymous · 26 September 2024, 22:00 ·United States

So infuriating

Today, my sister-in-law had the nerve to hijack my baby shower to announce her pregnancy. It's all the more infuriating because we later found out that she's NOT pregnant, just a fucking attention whore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 716 You deserved it 98

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Anonymous · 19 September 2024, 16:00 ·Muscat, Oman

Access to education

Today, I was supposed to register my courses in college, but our stupid university changed the system, which means it's completely new. I went to my advisor, but he couldn't help. I went to the registration center; they told me to go to talk to the doctor who is teaching the course. He told me to go back to talk to them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 460 You deserved it 99

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Anonymous · 17 September 2024, 09:00 ·United Kingdom

Thanks for that, whoever you are

Today, I realised that somewhere out there someone has written my phone number on a pub bathroom wall, because now every couple of days or weeks I get random calls from heavy breathing pervs, or from guys wanting to know if I’m available, and how much I charge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 469 You deserved it 86

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Fuck you dad · 16 September 2024, 12:00 ·United States

What?

Today, whenever my dad says something and I (genuinely) don't hear him, he repeats it in an extremely slow and condescending manner. My family says I should "get a sense of humor" because I'm rightfully pissed about this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 395 You deserved it 172

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Anonymous · 15 September 2024, 20:00 ·Saint Cloud, United States

Company policy

Today, I just wanted to let Spectrum Internet know that there's a wire down a block north of me, but all they wanted to do was schedule a fucking appointment for ME! Why are there so many fucking idiots in this goddamn world? FML

I agree, your life sucks 424 You deserved it 106

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Anonymous · 2 September 2024, 16:00 ·Leeds, United Kingdom

WAKE UP IT'S MONDAY MORNING!

Today, I was running late for work so I grabbed my coffee to go. I was rushing down the stairs when I stumbled a bit and spilled the entire cup of coffee all over myself. I had to go back up, change clothes, and was still late. The kicker? It was decaf. FML

I agree, your life sucks 238 You deserved it 360

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lordoftheweird · 1 September 2024, 00:00 ·Kamloops, Canada

Primal scream

Today, my mom's response to everything is now screaming. Two year-old brother playing quietly? Screaming. Computer freezes? Screaming. Mailman? Screaming. We tried to get her tested but no doctor can stand her for more than ten minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 560 You deserved it 87

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Yada yada yada · 28 August 2024, 22:00 ·Scottsdale, United States

Please leave

Today, my neighbor knocked on my door to borrow some tools. Trying to be friendly, I asked how he was doing. He then spent the next 45 minutes describing his recent breakup in excruciating detail. I just wanted him to take the tools and leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 426 You deserved it 172

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Anonymous · 25 August 2024, 12:00 ·United Kingdom

Reluctant teambuilding

Today, during a Zoom meeting, five out of the six attendees claimed their cameras were broken and were audio only. I get that Zoom meetings suck but come up with a better excuse than that, or just say you prefer to be audio only, Jesus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 144 You deserved it 430

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Jill03 · 22 August 2024, 20:00 ·South Africa

Make it stop

Today, like I've had for what seems like the past year, I have the Skibidi Toilet song playing in my brain. If you don't know what that is, don't look it up. My boyfriend isn't helping because he keeps singing the "YES YES" part. I can't escape my intrusive thoughts. Help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 298 You deserved it 144

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kismet_fire · This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff ·San Francisco, United States

Basic bitch

Today, a customer yelled at me because I gave her a wrinkled bag. I work in retail, and the bags are all cheap plastic. She wouldn't stop, even when I gave her three different bags. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 243 You deserved it 2 794

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Yudith · 8 August 2024, 12:00 ·Canada

My kingdom for some peace and quiet!

Today, I can at last cool off the house by opening my windows after one week of heatwave. Unfortunately, some asshat working for the city decided to repair the street, or rather bang bang bang on the pavement, right in front of them. From 10 pm to 6 am. Every night. For a week. They won't stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 390 You deserved it 109

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Anonymous · 29 July 2024, 06:00 ·United States

Scheduled pain in the ass

Today, I was bounced between four different pharmacies before I could find one that would take my insurance. Apparently, which insurance I had didn't matter as much as to where it came from. Also, one of the pharmacies was on their lunch break. They end their lunch break at 2pm; we came in at 1:58pm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 333 You deserved it 131

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