Nearly FMLs

By Anonymous - 31/05/2018 21:09 - United States - Dalton

Today, I was forced to work a grill after having my hand fall into the 400°F fryer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 85

You deserved it 6

By Hellweek - 31/05/2018 23:26

Today, I dropped my phone and shattered the screen. Yesterday, my car broke down on me. Two days ago, my mom's car broke down while I was driving on the freeway. Three days ago, I spent the night in the ER. Seeing a pattern here? FML

I agree, your life sucks 76

You deserved it 3

By Ohwell - 31/05/2018 22:35

Today, I discovered that my hometown's shops rarely sold dresses smaller than a size 2. Kids clothes were not exactly what I pictured myself in for graduation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53

You deserved it 5

By Anonymous - 31/05/2018 22:16

Today, my girlfriend randomly started crying because she "knows I'm still in love with my ex whore Katie". Katie was my college girlfriend I haven't seen or thought about in over 10 years. How the F did my girlfriend even know about her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 96

You deserved it 1

By "AdeenCuffing" - 30/05/2018 22:38 - United States - Tampa

Today, apparently I tease my boyfriend so much I even made fun of him in his own sex dream because he didn't know how to take off my bra. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53

You deserved it 45

By "miena" - 31/05/2018 04:02

Today, I had to work alongside the site manager I am contracted to. Yesterday, I turned him down for a date for tomorrow. He is at least 18 years my senior, married, and knows I'm happily taken. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80

You deserved it 2

By Face as red as my hair - 31/05/2018 00:48

Today, I got a phone call to set up an interview for a job I applied for. When my (hopefully) future boss confirmed the time, I meant to say "lovely", but it came out as "love you". He definitely heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62

You deserved it 9

By Sammy - 30/05/2018 23:35

Today, I was squeezing a gigantic zit on my boyfriend's back. I popped it and the pus shot up and hit my eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62

You deserved it 29

By joe - 30/05/2018 21:24 - United Kingdom - Morecambe

Today, my boss shouted at me for a mistake he made, and my girlfriend left me because my ex and I work for the same company, ergo we must still be sleeping together. Then when I went to a restaurant alone to drown my sorrows in barbecue sauce, there was a cockroach cooked inside my burger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 91

You deserved it 4

By login530 - 30/05/2018 19:14

Today, my friends and I arrived to our Airbnb in Norway. The listing said it had 3 beds. We walk in to find only 2 beds. Guess who is the only one sleeping on the ground without any sheets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73

You deserved it 5

By xxloving_averyxx - 30/05/2018 14:41 - United Kingdom - Bungay

Today, I went to see my favorite band. When I got there, I freaked out and fainted. I didn't get to see any of the concert, and they wouldn't give me a refund. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38

You deserved it 76

By Uggghhh - 30/05/2018 08:04 - South Africa - Johannesburg

Today, I put a pad in my jacket pocket and went to the bathroom, only to realise that I don't need it. Later, I went to the store and reached into my pocket to get my purse. Guess what I pulled out to pay the cashier. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63

You deserved it 10

By Sparkles - 30/05/2018 06:40

Today, while I was searching around for my kitten who likes to run around my house. He went into my father in law's room. I went and looked under his bed to grab my kitten. While I went to grab my kitten quick. I missed and grabbed a plastic bag filled with anal lube, a whip and a kama sutra book. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71

You deserved it 10

By "Lady Julia KaNeko" - 29/05/2018 22:22 - United States - Boise

Today, I wanted to buy some groceries at the store. I forgot my wallet at home, so I drove back to get it, but because I have the habit of "blanking out," I forgot why I came home and left for the store again, only to remember that I forgot to get my wallet as I just arrived at the store. AGAIN. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63

You deserved it 39

By BirthdayGirl - 30/05/2018 06:02

Today, is my 25th birthday. I got stitches for skin cancer four days ago. They’re infected and I spent my day after work in the UC for an ear infection because of them. I spent my little birthday money on the UC bill. No one has wished me a happy birthday except the nurse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89

You deserved it 3

By Isaiah - 30/05/2018 05:07

Today, I finally got to sleep with the girl I've always wanted to. I thought it would be an amazing experience. I couldn't find my viagra, and wore out on 2 minutes. She left right after that. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 61

You deserved it 27

By Skinnybuthippy - 30/05/2018 04:23

Today, was the first day me and my bf started our healthy lifestyle. All day I ate spinach and grass shit... I come home to find an empty bag of chips on the floor of our bedroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66

You deserved it 11

By Anonymous - 30/05/2018 03:59

Today, I was lamenting that I had to miss a family member's funeral, because I couldn't afford to take the time off. I asked my sister how it went. She informed me that another family member had died this morning. I can't afford to go to this funeral, either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 85

You deserved it 3

By ShitCakes - 29/05/2018 15:21 - United States - San Diego

Today, I was playing fighting with a friend of mine and he jokingly bit me in the ear. We both burst into laughter, and I turned to him and tried to say that what he had done was amusing, but instead, my idiot brain managed to say, “That was arousing”. I did this in front of my whole youth group. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 67

You deserved it 18

By "SailorVenus93" - 29/05/2018 22:01

Today, one of my cats gorged himself on food and threw up. In response, my other cat sniffed the bag and proceeded to eat the warm half-eaten food. This all happened in front of me while I was eating lunch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61

You deserved it 5

By Oops - 29/05/2018 12:43 - United States - San Jose

Today, after weeks of being unable to find my TV remote, I finally discovered it was in the laundry hamper. That's not where I found it, though. I found it in the washing machine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50

You deserved it 28

By uh oh - 29/05/2018 21:03

Today, after years of being cheated on, I finally started to get involved with a beautiful girl that I like. The only problem? I’m the other guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66

You deserved it 33

By melinia - 29/05/2018 15:57

Today, I had a flat tire on my bike about 10 km from my house, no money on my phone and it looked like it was going to rain soon.. luckily my mum called me and I asked her for help, BUT visiting my brother was more important than helping me so guess who got drenched. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68

You deserved it 9

By Breakingupwastherightdecisiom - 29/05/2018 11:12 - Netherlands - Groningen

Today, I'm newly divorced. My ex husband: I'm glad we were together because it helped me grow into a mature adult. Also, my ex husband: I just slept with a drunk teenager because I was so impressed with how much weed she could smoke. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 82

You deserved it 6

By Mimieux - 29/05/2018 07:42

Today, I found out that my boyfriend prefers to spend up to $150 a day on camgirls, despite how open and experimental I was with our sex life. I was okay with him watching porn, until he became obsessed with it and wanted to kick me out. I took his offer to live with him in this new city and this happens. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82

You deserved it 7

By Anonymous - 29/05/2018 06:30

Today, I got rejected from my dream job for the 7th time. Each time I've placed 1 position outside of the number of job offers sent to people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70

You deserved it 3

By plain.sight - 29/05/2018 05:55

Today, I came home from a week away to my boyfriend having moved out. He left a note and his keys on the counter saying I'm too good for him and deserve more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71

You deserved it 8

By Anonymous - 29/05/2018 04:27

Today, I wore a sundress because it was hot. I've always been insecure about my body, but finally found a dress I found cute and flattering. After coming home from work my mom and dad proceeded to make negative comments about my appearance. Back to pants and sweaters I guess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81

You deserved it 4

By Dan - 29/05/2018 03:45

Today, I locked eyes with my ex at a pizza place right as I bit into a cherry tomato and sprayed my shirt.. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53

You deserved it 8

By Anonymous - 29/05/2018 01:46

Today, I found out the only way my wife has an orgasm is by fantasizing about an ex boyfriend, who she regrets never sleeping with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 741

You deserved it 606

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, after I finally got the money for a pool, I built a deck, filled it a quarter of the way, then all the 4x4 beams collapsed. The pool ripped in half, flooding the yard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 296

You deserved it 888

Today, my boyfriend of three years and I went to visit my 85 year-old grandmother at the hospital. While I went to the restroom, she apparently told him about a guy I was seeing on the side. I have no idea who she's talking about and my boyfriend refuses to talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 593

You deserved it 1 625

Today, my boyfriend tried to hypnotize me into breaking up with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 437

You deserved it 3 449

Today, I got to experience the horror of my wife's pregnancy. She woke me up abruptly at 5 am by throwing up all over me due to her terrible morning sickness, then ate pickles covered in mayonnaise, and later dropped to the floor sobbing when I told her we were out of dog food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 357

You deserved it 5 300

Today, I discovered a cat turd in a bath towel from most recent batch of laundry. I was wondering why my facemasks for the whole work week smelled so strange. FML

I agree, your life sucks 875

You deserved it 188

Today, I found out that the man who offered to put up the woman I love in exchange for me helping out with his rent, has in fact been her "other" boyfriend since before she moved in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 644

You deserved it 4 472