Nearly FMLs

By PoPo - 11/06/2018 21:40

Today, I was suppose to leave for training in California. Training scheduled a year in advance, and that would have gotten me promoted. After packing and leaving for the airport, the class cancelled and no one bothered to call to tell me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61

You deserved it 3

By izayoi - 11/06/2018 12:39 - United States - Aurora

Today, I discovered that every single time I cook for myself, my mom immediately rushes into the kitchen and criticizes my cooking the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53

You deserved it 4

By Aj - 11/06/2018 18:50

Today, the photographer came to take pictures of the tennis team for my school’s yearbook, but did not take any of me. Since this is my senior year, I spent $75 on one (prior to the photo shoot). Oh, I also happen to be the captain of the tennis team. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71

You deserved it 5

By Mango - 11/06/2018 20:05 - India - Ghaziabad

Today, I was driving back to my house after watching a movie with my friends. When I walked in, I saw my grandmother standing on a chair, with a bottle of whiskey in her hand. I politely told her to come down and give me the bottle. She shouted, "You're *my name*!, did you know you're adopted?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 65

You deserved it 6

By meepmoop - 11/06/2018 06:37

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend when she suddenly plunged her tongue down my throat. I choked and pulled back out of shock. She then proceeded to tell me "You're a bad kisser. It's okay.. I can teach you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 62

You deserved it 9

By Mark Dunn - 11/06/2018 04:52

Today, after three months of dating, my gf asked me to break up with her in front of her family so she can get sympathy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65

You deserved it 4

By "Boyufd" - 11/06/2018 03:14

Today, it's me and my younger sister's birthday. Guess who got taken out and got a new phone for their birthday? Not me. Apparently my family also forgot it was my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74

You deserved it 2

By ChickenLil0219 - 11/06/2018 02:32

Today, I found out that my roommate was moving out. Okay, fine. However, when I woke up she had destroyed my home. Dumped trash everywhere. Left my fridge and freezer doors. The best part, she stole every single roll of toilet paper from my house. I discovered this while going to the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71

You deserved it 5

By spaceboi - 10/06/2018 18:20

Today, I fucked up by spending the remainder of my bank account on coach fare to go see someone who said they "loved me", only to have them completely block me and not talk to me for no apparent reason. I'm now broke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44

You deserved it 56

By Ksenia - 10/06/2018 10:09 - Russian Federation - Yoshkar-ola

Today, it was my birthday. Both of my ex-boyfriends who I haven't kept in touch with texted me to wish a happy birthday. My actual boyfriend didn't even remember about that day.

I agree, your life sucks 77

You deserved it 3

By SyncSymphony - 09/06/2018 21:18 - United States

Today, I nearly peed my pants waiting for my girlfriend in the bathroom, but her reasoning was pretty good. "You came in my ass, I get the bathroom first." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30

You deserved it 95

By That guy - 10/06/2018 00:52

Today, I got communal fish for my new tank because I like watching them swim in a group. Once I brought them home, all they do is to either stay in separate corners or fight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53

You deserved it 9

By Lonelygirl - 09/06/2018 17:40 - Mexico - Puebla

Today, I walked into my boyfriend's house and his dog greeted me with a strange movement, 3 seconds later my foot was covered with dog cum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84

You deserved it 7

By fortyfivedegrees - 09/06/2018 21:06

Today, a truck driver hit me from behind while I was crossing the crosswalk with a walk signal. My ankle broke so badly that my foot was sticking out at a 45-degree angle. In response, my gf messaged me to complain that I haven't been paying her enough attention today. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 83

You deserved it 4

By Livi - 09/06/2018 14:43 - United States - New York

Today, I was the first to stir in the morning after a sleepover. This caused the cat to scream for food until everyone else woke up. It was before 8am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49

You deserved it 15

By Dead inside - 09/06/2018 12:13 - United States - Midland

Today, I told my wife that our relationship should NOT be just about sex.... she left talking about leaving me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60

You deserved it 9

By Horror_girl - 09/06/2018 15:06 - United Kingdom - York

Today, I turned up for an employment-related course that was booked over a week ago. I turned up early, and then waited for hours. No one turned up to run it, and the door was locked. Guess I'm not getting a job anytime soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68

You deserved it 3

By Annoyed - 09/06/2018 13:51

Today, actually every day for the past week, after being dry for a year I randomly started wetting the bed again. I am 22 yrs old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75

You deserved it 6

By an1@hb3lle - 09/06/2018 00:06

Today, I found out that not only do you leave scratches on your clit when you masturbate with acrylic nails, but it burns like a motherfucker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28

You deserved it 89

By erys - 08/06/2018 23:44

Today, I turned 21. After hours of painstakingly changing my appearance in an effort to appear older, I went out to buy alcohol. When it came time to pay, the cashier didn't even ask to see my ID and went straight to kicking me out of the liquor store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 86

You deserved it 24

By Youreagoodmancharlie - 08/06/2018 22:14

Today, I’m staying with my cousin for a few days, and I left my shoes in a corner in his apartment overnight. While at a restaurant for lunch, I felt something in my shoe, so I sat down and pulled it out. It was a dead cockroach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70

You deserved it 7

By Shandog12 - 08/06/2018 20:36

Today my (ex) best friend told me she thinks I’m a selfish bitch and I need to learn to think about somebody other than myself. This was after I told her I can’t accept she cheated on her boyfriend of 6 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 87

You deserved it 11

By ButILikeMyTeeth - 08/06/2018 20:29

Today, I went to the dentist alone for the first time, for nothing more than a routine cleaning, like we had discussed. She commented how beautiful my teeth were - too beautiful, apparently, as she wanted to keep one for herself. I came home with one wisdom tooth less in my mouth. I'm still traumatized.. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68

You deserved it 6

By Anonymous - 08/06/2018 15:38

Today, I went into my parents room to see if my sister went to school because she goes in there when she skips. I ended up walking in on my father masturbating and taking a picture when he was supposed to be at work. On the plus side; my sister went to school and I'm scarred. FML!

I agree, your life sucks 78

You deserved it 20

By Loulou - 08/06/2018 13:37

Today, I'm being stalked by my birth father who completely abandoned the family almost 40 years ago. His sisters have all died and he wants a daughter to take care of him now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 105

You deserved it 2

By Guy - 08/06/2018 03:54

Today, I found out for the third time this year, I'm just the rebound guy before a girl gets back with her ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 86

You deserved it 4

By Greasy - 08/06/2018 02:12

Today I went to get my eyebrows threaded when the lady doing my brows asked me if I had coconut oil in my hair because it’s greasy. That’s just my natural hair a day after washing and putting dry shampoo in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59

You deserved it 9

By EMbelina - 07/06/2018 15:44 - United States - Rochester

Today, I woke up at 7:30 am and got dressed as usual. I went to work and went about my normal day. At about 3:30 pm I looked down at my feet only to realize I had on two different shoes- one blue and one silver. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49

You deserved it 31

By MandyR - 07/06/2018 17:08

Today, I decided to wear a thong to school under my leggings. I didn't know that they were so thin you could see right through them. My guy teacher called me to the front of the class and stared at my butt the whole time. I had no idea until my friend told me almost an hour later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66

You deserved it 47

By cptireland - 07/06/2018 11:57

Today, I was demoted from being a manager after I smoked a single cigarette to handle the stress of my grandfather having a heart attack. When I asked why the punishment was so severe, the owner replied, Because you’re creating a bad influence on others. I work in a bar with adults... or so I thought. FML

I agree, your life sucks 94

You deserved it 9

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The Top

Today, my mother surprised me with a new alarm clock. It's attached to a toy car which races around my room with obnoxious sirens going at full blast until I crawl out of bed and turn it off. She says this will be a regular thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 883

You deserved it 12 998

Today, I was looking down at my chest and noticed the hairs growing upon it. For a 16 year old, it's pretty impressive. It's a shame that I'm a girl though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 530

You deserved it 3 309

Today, I found rodent droppings in my bed, inches away from where my pillow is. I spend almost 99% of my time in my room and I never once heard or saw any signs of a rodent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 959

You deserved it 132

Today, I got pulled over for a broken taillight. When I rolled down the window, the cop asked me if I was smoking crack. When I told him I didn't do drugs, he didn't believe me since he could detect a foul odor coming from my car. I'd just passed gas big time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 194

You deserved it 194

Today, at work, I refused a customer a refund because there was nothing wrong with the item, and she didn't have the packaging. I then watched as she and her son rummaged through a public bin for the packaging. When I refused her again, she called me a "fucking idiot". FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 034

You deserved it 7 012

Today, my husband called me a nympho after I told him I'd ideally like us to have sex more than once a month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 780

You deserved it 3 328