Nearly FMLs

By yaknow - 26/01/2016 00:33 - United States - Sussex

Today, was day 2 of being a cashier and this lady's total came to $30. She proceeded to pay me entirely in quarters. It took 10 minutes with my supervisor's assistance and nagging to count. FML

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By myaahni - 26/01/2016 00:33 - United States - San Diego

Today, I was so prepared to take my honors humanities test. I stayed up until 2 in the morning studying the night before. I got 4 hours of sleep last night because of it. Fourth period comes around and I find out that the test wasn't today. FML.

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By BumbleBee677 - 26/01/2016 00:30 - United States - Chicago

Today, my father yelled at me for 5 minutes for using the wifi to do my homework. This is because my brother was using it to play an online video game, and it would lag too much if I used it. Sorry, didn't realize a video game came before an essay that accounts for 40% of my final grade... FML

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By anonymous - 26/01/2016 00:29 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I had a valentines photo shoot scheduled with my boyfriend. He broke up with me at the first click the camera took.

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By areyouserious - 26/01/2016 00:22 - United States - Oak Park

Today, I began my job at a summer camp. Five minutes after I arrived, a little kid ran up to me, grabbed my crotch, and said he was trying to "feel my boys." I'm a girl. FML.

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By kelso_md - 26/01/2016 00:16 - Japan - Tokyo

Today, after living abroad and studying the local language for two and a half years, I received the exam results for the 'basic level' test I took a month ago. I failed. For the third time. I'm not sure, but something tells me I'm not cut out for learning another language. FML

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By bella_nana347 - 26/01/2016 00:05 - United States - Forest Park

Today, a girl at my school accused me of trying to get attention because I was crying in the cafeteria and said that no one cares about my stupid problems. I was crying because we took my dad off of life support on Friday... FML.

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By bella_nana347 - 25/01/2016 23:58 - United States - Forest Park

Today, I was at lunch and one girl decided that she was too far away and crowded herself and all of her stuff around me. My anxiety has been bad lately and my claustrophobia kicked in really hard. I was on the verge of a panic attack and she refused to move even a foot away. FML.

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By 2poor4sure - 25/01/2016 23:56 - United States - Warren

Today, I learned that my workplace has overpaid me for the last couple of months. In order to correct that, they're taking my pay for the next two months and forcing me to pay my insurance out of pocket. FML

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By Anonymous - 25/01/2016 23:26 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my hand started bleeding so much that I had to be excused from class. After going home, washing the wound and missing my huge science test, I realized it was just a papercut. FML.

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By Fern - 25/01/2016 23:11 - United States - Fargo

Today, I saw the doctor for my cough. She told me it was bronchitis that could turn into pneumonia if I'm unlucky. I also had pneumonia in October, so if the bronchitis does turn into pneumonia, they will consider giving me the pneumonia shot, usually only given to seniors. I'm not even 20 yet. FML.

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By stoptalkingabourherplz - 25/01/2016 23:11 - Australia - Cheltenham

Today, while trying to find a cute picture of my boyfriend on his Facebook, I found out he still has 8+ folders of pictures of his ex-fiancé. The kicker? Later on the 'suggested friends' feature showed me that he is still friends with her and so is his mum. FML

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By anonymous - 25/01/2016 22:53 - United States - Zanesville

Today, I went to pick up glasses my husband helped me pick out when my eyes were dilated. They were black like I remember, but the hot pink trim was a surprise. Apparently couldn't see that part with the dilation and the husband just went with it. I hate pink and am stuck with these for a year. FML

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By whatashitweasel - 25/01/2016 22:46 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, my boyfriend's ex messaged me with proof that he has been asking her to sleep with him one last time. When I confronted him, he tried to pass it off as a test to see if she thought cheating was okay, because he's suspicious that she cheated on him while they were together. FML

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By Anonymous - 25/01/2016 22:45 - United States - Katonah

Today, I was taking my math midterm. I got an answer then realized I made a mistake, so I erased all my work and redid the problem a whole new way. After the exam, I talked to my friend, she informed me I did it the correct way the first time around and my second attempt was completly wrong, FML.

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By koopa483 - 25/01/2016 22:45 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I wasn't feeling well and the nearest bathroom was a 5 minute walk away so I had to hide somewhere so that I can vomit. When I was figuring out how to get cleaned up I heard a voice asking if I was OK. I realized that a guy and her girlfriend watched me barf in front of their car. FML

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By eyelet exaltation - 25/01/2016 22:44

Today, I went to the doctor for a headache that has lasted multiple days. He told me to book an appointment with an optician as soon as possible, as he could see something behind my eye. Convinced it was only a strain, I told my doctor sister. Sounds like a clot apparently. Now I can't sleep. FML.

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By ConservativeBigMouth - 25/01/2016 22:42 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I got into a big fight. Her mother then got involved, and the subject of smoking weed got brought up. Her mother is in the DEA. FML

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By dog less - 25/01/2016 22:29 - United States - Wabash

Today, my dad got rid of our dog. The dog he'd promised to get me to help with my depression. The one we only had for 2 months because he claimed he "chewed too much for a puppy". For 2 months my depression was manageable. But now? Unbearable. FML

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By Anonymous - 25/01/2016 22:29 - Canada - Peterborough

Today, my father held a family meeting to confront my 17 year old brother about a sexual relationship he's been having with his teacher for the last three months. He's homeschooled. Fml.

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By Anonymous - 25/01/2016 22:22 - United States - Windermere

Today, my daughter woke up saying her tummy hurt and she needed to throw up. Before I could get her to the bathroom she launched projectile vomit in two rooms and a pile of clean clothes. FML.

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By eyeroller - 25/01/2016 22:16 - United States - Buffalo Grove

Today, my sweet but hopelessly moronic boyfriend is convinced that he's going to become a millionaire by inventing carbonated ketchup. FML

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By GabeGabe - 25/01/2016 22:15 - United States - Seattle

Today, I walked in on my brother jerking off. He looked me in the eyes and didn't stop. FML

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By Anonymous - 25/01/2016 22:08 - United States - Houston

Today on top of having to go to jury duty two days before my midterm, I got my period while waiting for a case. FML

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By Moste Potente - 25/01/2016 22:05 - United Kingdom - Boston

Today, I found out that my brother thinks that not brushing your teeth will make them shrink. He's 14. FML

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By somegypsy - 25/01/2016 22:01 - United States - East Orange

Today, my sister-in-law asked to help out with our charity fair coming up. I told her to pass some flyers to the local shops. She came over after she was finished, a few hours later... Wearing a mink coat... Our charity is the ASPCA. FML

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By ihml - 25/01/2016 21:59 - United States - Dallas

Today, I finally got the nerve to sit at the back of the bus with the "popular" kids, when i did they all moved to the front. I am now sitting in the back of the bus alone,thats a first FML

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By TheAspieDork - 25/01/2016 21:57 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I had to make a tough decision: change my tampon, or catch my bus home. Let's just say I made the uncomfortable choice. FML

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By awkward - 25/01/2016 21:56 - United States - Lakewood

Today, I overheard my parents discussing the fact that my boyfriend is somehow a blood relative and whether they were going to tell me or let it continue. I didn't know he was related to me. FML

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By GERARDWAYISBAE - 25/01/2016 21:52

Today, I found multiple long strands of blonde hair in mine and my boyfriends bed. After I confronted him, he replied "They're probably yours." I just recovered from cancer, and I went through chemo. I don't have any hair.

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I get more pleasure out of scratching my balls than I do out of any sexual activity with my girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 953

You deserved it 3 112

Today, I texted everyone in my phone to remind them mother's day is tomorrow. Everyone including the boy whose mom died last year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 966

You deserved it 81 663

Today, I found out my mom has been randomly searching my room. I've asked her repeatedly to stop, but she says it's her right as a parent. In retaliation I started searching their room when they were out, and found porn mags and DVDs. I confronted mom about it. Long story short, dad's in a hotel. What have I done?! FML

I agree, your life sucks 364

You deserved it 734

Today, I got turned down by the person who has been wanting to date me for five months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 270

You deserved it 1 092

Today, my boyfriend told me that the girl he really likes sees me as a threat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 515

You deserved it 5 093

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend with some kinky role play. I chose a sexy naughty nun's outfit, complete with head cover, thigh-high stockings and crotchless panties. I guess my outfit was a little too convincing, because he couldn’t get it up. Thanks Catholic guilt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 170

You deserved it 905