Nearly FMLs

By freepeepshow - 26/01/2016 19:58 - United States

Today, I was at work at a preschool when a little girl decided to pull down the front of my shirt for the class to see. On top of that, there's a camera in the room that displays in our lobby. FML

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By anon - 26/01/2016 19:54 - United States - Fairfield

Today, my friend threw a temper tantrum in the middle of the mall causing a huge scene. Why? Because i wouldn't let her hold the cheese cake i had just bought for myself. We're in college. FML

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By WhyOhWhy - 26/01/2016 19:43 - United States - Saddle Brook

Today, I took my wife's parents out to a nice restaurant. After getting back to the house, my mother-in-law, after using our bathroom, comes to me and says, "I missed the toilet and shit on the floor. Do you think you can clean it up?" ...and then proceeds on talking as if nothing happened. FML

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By Crimine - 26/01/2016 19:40 - United States

Today, I went to the doctor for an ear infection. Apparently, the antibiotics I was prescribed by another doctor not only made it worse, but also gave me intense diarrhea.

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By angrymother - 26/01/2016 19:34 - United States - Jefferson City

Today, like every single day, every time I try to lay my daughter down for a nap, my little brother seems to sense it and decides that it's the perfect time to throw a temper tantrum. I rent the downstairs of my mothers house. His room is upstairs. His screaming would make a banshee jealous. FML.

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By Qcorchado - 26/01/2016 19:33 - United States - Miami

Today, I was counting the safe at work and my coworker yelled at me for leaving my position. It was supposed to be her safe and I was pretty much doing her job when she yelled at me. FML

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By Chromaggia - 26/01/2016 19:13 - United States - Phoenix

Today, I was enjoying lunch while working on assignment in my school computer lab when a boy sat down next to me and began pulling up videos of people popping pimples and cysts. He then proceeded to crank up the volume all the way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By ulen7 - 26/01/2016 19:12 - Ireland

Today, I woke up very late so I didn't have time to have a well needed shower or put on a bra. I also ended up putting on leopard print socks, my year book photo was today FML

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By no - 26/01/2016 18:50 - United States - Kingman

Today, I shit my pants on my girlfreinds lap. FML

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By Bad jokes - 26/01/2016 18:50 - United States - East Lansing

Today, I joked about dead parents to a guy with dead parents. I kept going until I was physically pulled out of the conversation and my friend told me. FML

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By soberman - 26/01/2016 18:49 - United States - Union City

Today, I found out that my mom used to be a stripper. My dad met her at the strip club, after 25 years I find out. To top it all off my nickname that my family calls me was my moms stripper name. Big Luv

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By thesuperwholock - 26/01/2016 18:49 - United States - Algonquin

Today, I went into my bathroom to hop in the shower after the gym. only to find the tub FILLED with feathers. my sisters only explanations? We made cosplay. FML

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By Anonymous - 26/01/2016 18:46 - Sri Lanka - Colombo

Today, I was in time for my appointment to the vet and I forgot my cat. FML

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By Anonymous - 26/01/2016 18:45 - United States - Porter

Today, my dream company rejected me because I have adult braces. I'm getting them off next week. FML

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By Therid - 26/01/2016 18:41 - Denmark - N?rum

Today, I was forced to walk 2km, without shoes and in snow, just because my roommate took my shoes and I didn't wanna miss school. FML

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By em - 26/01/2016 18:38 - United Arab Emirates

Today, a guy was going down on me and my brother walked in on us. All he could say was "nice" and walked out. Let's just say I didn't get lucky. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By SkywardPheonix - 26/01/2016 18:26 - United States - White Sulphur Springs

Today, while playing with the guard dog at my place of work, he decided to attack a dog that looked similar to mine. It was mine. FML

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You deserved it 0

By clayh6 - 26/01/2016 18:17 - United States - Wichita

Last night, i woke up after only being asleep for a few hours I woke up extremely thirsty. I reached over to grab my water bottle and instead ended up taking a giant gulp of my girlfriends coconut oil.

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By KatzVKatz - 26/01/2016 18:12 - Slovenia - Novo Mesto

Today, as I was pouring my heart out to my mother about how I want to be a successful writer, have my own craft business and help animals, my father yelled at me from the bedroom: "Stop your yammering. You're never gonna make it. And come pick up this dog shit!" Thanks for the support, dad. FML

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By drewclinton - 26/01/2016 18:11 - United States - Fayetteville

Today, I drove up to the mountains and went skiing with my girlfriend, two hours in she broke up with me and drove home. She took my car. FML

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By just a waitress - 26/01/2016 18:11 - United States - Rancho Palos Verdes

Today, as I got a text from my ex saying we should get back together I came into work just to be his waitress for his new date FML

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By CallMeYourSenpai - 26/01/2016 18:05 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I forgot to lock my phone while I was sleeping and since it was plugged into the charger, it never locked. I was then later woken up by my brother reading my messages out loud; messages between me and my long distance boyfriend that I wasn't ready to tell anyone about. FML

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By NickD6 - 26/01/2016 17:59 - United States

Today, at work I had to cut a customer some glass. It cut me twice and when I finally got it done, I picked it up and the corner broke off cutting me yet again. FML.

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By SingleAgain - 26/01/2016 17:57 - United States - Sarasota

Today, my ex broke up with me again after she forgot she had broken up with me two days ago. FML

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By SadCatGuy - 26/01/2016 17:53 - Canada - Toronto

Today, while trying to comfort me after taking a vacation day to bury my cat, my boss wouldn't take the hint that I didn't want to talk about it. She told me my other cat would probably die this year too. FML

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By actingmanager - 26/01/2016 17:44 - United States - Louisville

Today I had a meeting with the VP to discuss moving into my old boss's managerial position. The receptionist didn't recognize me and walked me to his office, wanting to know if I was there for the Manager Interviews. FML

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By Jazmine - 26/01/2016 17:39 - United States - El Segundo

Today, I was on my way home from work when I saw an old lady who had dropped her purse, so I went over to pick it up for her as I approached her she started screaming "help, help this mans trying to rob me" I'm a woman? That's the last time I try to be nice! FML

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By Wraith09 - 26/01/2016 17:27 - Canada - Holland Landing

Today, I sent a sexy email to my wife. Or thought I did. Outlook auto-fill put in the name of a co-worker who has the same first name as my wife. Hellooo HR supervisor. FML

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You deserved it 0

By mee1131 - 26/01/2016 16:45 - United States - Dearborn

Today, my friend of 2 years quit talking to me for no reason and is now going to my other friends and telling them I am the one who causes all the problems. FML

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By nut job - 26/01/2016 16:36 - United States - York

Today, I tried to go out to work after missing it yesterday due to snow. I got stuck in traffic twice, then got stuck on the ice and had a full blown hyperventilating, screaming, vomiting panic attack during which my boss called, heard it all, and sent me home. Fml

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, my kids and I have been ecstatic about them being back in school. After a year on Zoom, they couldn’t wait to get back into the classroom because every day they bring home something new and interesting. This time, they brought home a cold so bad it’s knocked me flat on my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 975

You deserved it 171

Today, I told the doctor that one of my ribs sticks out farther than the other. When I lifted my shirt to show him, he immediately laughed and said, "Whoa, that's not subtle is it!" As if I wasn't already insecure about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 237

You deserved it 847

Today, I lost yet another girlfriend because of my kids’ behavior. The last one told me, “I’d rather get fisted by Freddy Krueger than deal with those hellspawn of yours!” At this point, I’m going to be a single dad forever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 107

You deserved it 649

Today, I bought a new car, and before I left, the dealer offered to help me set up the sync. I agreed, but I really wish I'd remembered that my Bluetooth name is TitsMcGee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 737

You deserved it 27 766

Today, my rabbit died. He died a painful death from ingesting too much carpet. I now have no rabbit and a patchy carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 852

You deserved it 6 792

Today, I went for my daily post-op doctor's appointment, where I was told I can resume normal activities. Which was handy when I came home to half-an-inch of water throughout my apartment, due to my washing machine drainage pipe coming undone while I was gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 112

You deserved it 2 651