Nearly FMLs

By Aeroboss - 10/02/2016 23:26 - United States - Cranbury

Today, an asshole at my school randomly punched me in the head during class, breaking the earpiece of my glasses and rupturing a very sensitive pimple on the side of my head. I was suspended for "not paying attention in class", while blood was streaming out of my head. FML

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You deserved it 0

By ANONYMOUS - 10/02/2016 23:20 - United States

Today, I went to this guys house for the first time after talking to him for awhile, the past week i haven't felt too good. When things started getting physical, I started throwing up uncontrollably. It was all over him, his bed, the floor, the bathroom, just everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By agh - 10/02/2016 23:05 - United States - Redwood City

Today, my dad told me that Donald Trump would be a great president. He fully supports Trump, despite the racist and demeaning remarks he's made on social media, in his speeches, and in interviews. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By sicky - 10/02/2016 23:03 - United States - North Las Vegas

Today I was called to sign up for health insurance through my part time job, as it is part time my manager assumed I was not eligible. I was given 8 minutes to sign up before the deadline. I live 45 minutes away. FML

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You deserved it 0

By itworkedbefore - 10/02/2016 22:56 - United States

Today my husband is so immersed in his work, that he hasn't noticed me walking around naked. FML

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You deserved it 0

By zero hour contract - 10/02/2016 22:40 - United Kingdom - Aldershot

Today, yet another of my coworkers bitched me out for not working as many hours as they do, and how it's "unfair" that they have to work some evenings when I don't. Apparently the fact that I'm only a part time hire doesn't change anything, and I am a terrible person. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By VaccinesCauseAutism - 10/02/2016 22:32 - United Kingdom - New Milton

Today, I found out my father believes the earth is flat. FML.

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You deserved it 0

By Dear_Karma - 10/02/2016 22:24 - Ireland

Today, I traveled three hours to get my retainers for my teeth only to find out that despite taking over ten moulds of my teeth on Monday, they didn't fit my teeth. FML

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You deserved it 0

By SamW2469 - 10/02/2016 22:16 - United States

Today, I had two projects due. The girl who had all the information didn't show up. We aren't allowed to turn them in any other day. Guess who got two F's? FML

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You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 10/02/2016 22:12 - United States - Chevy Chase

Today, while at lunch, the principal of my school came in and gave a presentation about copying homework and cheating... as I was copying homework. He definitely noticed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By iFurrhy - 10/02/2016 21:50 - United States - Bronx

Today, I had a stressful day at school that felt like it was 10 hours long. As soon as I get home, I realize I don't have my keys with me. My mother won't be home till 9 AM and I left school at 3. FML

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You deserved it 0

By jobless - 10/02/2016 21:47 - United States - Santa Ana

Today, I was fired after being informed that I had a bad review written about me from two days ago by an angry customer. The problem was that I was "too slow" at the register, I remember telling the customer that the register is slow and apologized for the inconvenience. My manager didn't buy it.FML

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You deserved it 0

By premed rage - 10/02/2016 21:38 - Lebanon - Beirut

Today was the MCAT exam registration day. I skipped all my classes and kept refreshing my web browser until registration started. Fortunately, I was able to get a seat but when I was checking out my card was rejected and I lost all possible seats. They blame the bank and the bank blames them. FML

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You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 10/02/2016 21:10 - United States - Northridge

Today, while at work, someone asked if my client is my son. My client and I are both the same age. Fml.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By jansdrs - 10/02/2016 21:06 - United States - Huntington

Today, my teacher decided it was time to reseat us. Would've been fine if I hadn't been placed behind a kid that is constantly triggering me to puke. We are stuck with these seats till the end of the year. FML.

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You deserved it 0

By _drew_20 - 10/02/2016 21:01

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. all was going well until my dad walked in my room and proceeded to tell us about the massive dump he just Took. Thanks dad. FML

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You deserved it 0

By gamermonster - 10/02/2016 21:00 - Netherlands - Heesch

Today, my hormones got so messed up that I got a boner from hugging my mom. FML

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You deserved it 0

By Jimmy - 10/02/2016 20:57 - United States - Louisville

Today I woke up with my stomach feeling ill at ease. My mom told me the trash can outside had blown over and I needed to pick up the trash that was strewn across the yard. Midway through picking up the trash I uncontrollably crapped my pants as my neighbor was walking by my house. FML.

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You deserved it 0

By blah - 10/02/2016 20:47 - United States

Today, my homophobic mother and I was talking about my friend and she found out he was gay from me , she then started to bash on him saying how gays are wrong and they're disgusting ,I don't think she remembers me coming out the closet to her FML

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You deserved it 0

By glh77 - 10/02/2016 20:40 - United States - Winchester

Today, I saw my husband picking his nose and putting the boogers on his tongue. I asked him why he was eating his boogers, he said he needs a place to hold them until he can get a tissue. I don't think I'll ever kiss him again. FML

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You deserved it 0

By TheEpicWario - 10/02/2016 20:28

Today, my friend went on a rant about how much I've been pissing him off, and is now giving me the silent treatment. The last thing I did was ask his girlfriend for a doughnut. FML

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You deserved it 0

By ThatHurts - 10/02/2016 20:24 - United Kingdom - Norwich

Today, I found out why my girlfriend has seemingly lost her appetite for sex. Turns out that for the last 3 months she has been getting her appetite satisfied by our neighbour. FML.

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You deserved it 0

By Hinata - 10/02/2016 20:24 - Israel - Tel Aviv

Today, I found out that my brother and I lost our virginity to the same guy. I'm a girl, FML.

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You deserved it 0

By bigbark465 - 10/02/2016 20:23 - United States - Cary

Today, me and my girlfriend have been having problems. Recently and I thought they were getting better until she asked me"does your mom know we broke up". Apparently she forgot to tell me that we had. FML

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You deserved it 0

By anonymous - 10/02/2016 19:54 - United States - Newark

Today, I mentioned to my fiance the separation anxiety I have for my daughter that stems from issues I have from being molested as a child. His response? Grow a pair and get over it. Fml.

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You deserved it 0

By none - 10/02/2016 19:25 - United States - Omaha

Today, I got a really bad nose bleed right before my hardest class. I'm missing notes that will be on the exam. I'm in law school. FML

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You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 10/02/2016 19:20 - United Kingdom - Barnet

Today, after putting it off for weeks I finally bathed my dog whose terrified of water. After the whole ordeal I let the dog out and followed him downstairs just in time to see my brother let him out to roll in the mud. FML

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You deserved it 0

By Ouch - 10/02/2016 19:17 - United States - Mankato

Today, I had to talk with the guy I've fallen for. We've only known each other for a short while, and he said that he wanted to be in a relationship but he thinks we should take it slow. Later, I asked him what his worst quality was. He said he was a good liar. FML

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You deserved it 0

By EarlieBurd - 10/02/2016 19:16 - Uzbekistan - Tashkent

Today, I corrected my boss for calling me Edward several times whilst my name is actually Earl. He said he wasn't calling me Edward, but "N-Word". FML.

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You deserved it 0

By horror_girl - 10/02/2016 19:04 - United Kingdom - London

A few weeks back my body decided I clearly hadn't suffered enough with my health after having cancer.... I ended up getting a blood clot in my heart that caused 3 cardiac arrests and 2 weeks on life support....Im 33 years old FML

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The Top

Today, I went on my 56th job interview since graduating from college 3 months ago. I am 31 years old and I spent 11 years in college. I only graduated with a Bachelor's Degree after all those years, but I am still not qualified for anything due to how long it took me to complete my degree. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 955

You deserved it 1 550

Today, I tripped really hard and twisted my ankle on a toy that was on the floor, dropping a bag of trash filled with coffee and energy drinks my husband has piled around his desk. Instead of helping me up or helping me clean, he berated me about it. Told me that it's not my problem and went to his LoL game. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 164

You deserved it 172

Today, I vomitted on an Oxford professor during my first university interview. They called me "little miss nervous" in my second interview. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 212

You deserved it 565

Today, my very financially stable grandparents bought my girlfriend and I two first class tickets on Air Emirates, which to me is a once in a lifetime opportunity. To my dismay, my colon did not approve of the peanuts and I spent the whole flight shitting out what seemed to be molten rocks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 413

You deserved it 229

Today, I went outside to start jogging for improving my ever declining fitness. A kind stranger yelled, “You’re doing great!” as I was wheezing after my first block. I was sitting on a bench. FML

I agree, your life sucks 363

You deserved it 107

Today, I decided to act on my therapist's advice and ask my crush out. She turned me down because I'm apparently too much of a downer. The reason I have a therapist is because I'm depressed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 055

You deserved it 1 256