tswizz

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Offline (the 07/05/2015 at 3:51am)

tswizz

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 24 April 1995 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1241
  • Number of comments : 83
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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tswizz's page activity

Visits<b>Roxy4102</b> - the 03/17/2016 at 9:38pm<b>suprisebitch</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 1:57pm<b>PickledSweets</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 11:23am<b>Badkarma4u</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 7:56am<b>mmmxr</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 10:45am<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 2:06pm<b>ExtremeEncounter</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 6:57am<b>NoCraicAtAll</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 6:48am<b>blinked_281</b> - the 12/10/2014 at 7:56am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 12:36pm<b>Orion_Knight78</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 5:07pm<b>ezrocks4u</b> - the 03/22/2014 at 2:35am<b>regenerate</b> - the 01/15/2014 at 5:02pm<b>gaysunshine</b> - the 01/03/2014 at 1:40am<b>RoseBlack123</b> - the 12/31/2013 at 12:47pm<b>Broadway_Vayne</b> - the 09/04/2013 at 1:43pm<b>LtBoom</b> - the 09/04/2013 at 6:27am<b>niceipads</b> - the 08/24/2013 at 10:49am

Fucked!<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 8:06pm

tswizz's FML badges

Perfectionist

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The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of tswizz's badges

tswizz's favorite FMLs

Today, I asked my dad to please shave his awful beard, because I'm a laughing-stock at school for being picked up each day by a guy whose face looks like Bigfoot's ass. He agreed, and 10 minutes later was sporting a pedo-stache. It's going to be a long year. FML

by assholedad / 02/11/2015 at 4:00pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my overly-attached 14-year-old cat wanted attention while I was in a heated Skype argument with my girlfriend. Worked up from the fight, I raised my voice and said, "Not now, go away!" He ran to his little bed, had a heart attack and died. I was a complete dick to my cat in his last moments. FML

by Brody89 / 04/09/2014 at 2:40pm / United States (Washington) / Animals

Today, I had a nightmare in which I was haunted by the ghost of my foreskin. I then spent the whole day moping around, wondering what my life would've been like if my parents hadn't opted to slice it off. Will I see you in heaven, long-lost ghostly foreskin? FML

by MissYouPieceOfSkin / 11/27/2013 at 3:44am / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, we found out that my unborn sibling is a girl, and my parents quickly named her. In a few years' time, "Candida" is going to catch all kinds of shit at school, just like I do for being named Dorothy. My "friends" have already started calling me "lil' yeast infection's sis". FML

by Dor51 / 10/27/2013 at 3:52pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I started training as a bartender. My very first client told me how his wife is sleeping with her sister's husband. He then told me that all the women he knows only want sex, and asked me why "we" were like that. He could be my dad. FML

by nerdywaitress / 10/18/2013 at 1:14am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, my dad made a big show of sending me to my room and grounding me for a week. Not because he heard me cursing at my video game, but because I "swear like a little girl" and it embarrassed him in front of his friends. FML

by dadyoureacunt / 09/21/2013 at 9:10am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, my workplace was having a "prices are down" promotion. I had to wear a badge that said, "Down and staying down" all day, opening myself up to a lot of weirdos winking at me or saying, "Oh yeah, I bet you are". FML

by hawkwardd / 09/12/2013 at 3:42am / Australia / Work

Today, I spent a large portion of the afternoon playing hide and seek with the door-to-door salesman who saw me sneak in the back door and won't stop knocking. No amount of hiding behind the couch will make him go away. FML

by my back hurts / 09/04/2013 at 1:25am / Australia (South Australia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I let a friend read a draft of the novel I'm writing. She claimed the antagonist is blatantly based on her, and threatened to sue me if I don't pay her royalties. The antagonist is an ancient, insane goblin witch. I guess I see now how this confusion could arise. FML

by pardon my English :$ / 08/09/2013 at 6:53pm / France / Work

Today, a customer screamed at me, because her iced coffee tasted exactly like coffee, and she hates coffee. Sadly, this isn't even the most insane person I've had to deal with at this job. FML

by Neanderthals walk among us / 08/04/2013 at 3:09pm / Hungary (Budapest) / Work

Today, working my job, I had to explain to a kid that Pokemon is owned by Nintendo and they don't make it for the Xbox. Upset by this, he took hold of my leg and started biting. I'm also suspended, because his mother complained when I kicked him off me. FML

by Garchomp / 07/08/2013 at 10:08pm / United States (Kansas) / Work

Today, my parents took my iPad back to the store and exchanged it for two cheap knock off tablets. Reason being my little brother threatened to run away because I had one and he didn't. I bought the iPad on my own after graduation. They kept the difference in price. FML

by evilmuffinlord / 06/18/2013 at 2:34am / United States (Texas) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, after years of researching and saving money, I got a pet fox. I was able to enjoy the majesty of the animal for three hours before it burrowed under the fence and ran away. FML

by SadFoxLady / 06/10/2013 at 2:01pm / United States (Iowa) / Animals

Today, I had to listen to yet another delusional fuckface at school bitch about how a girl he's interested in put him in the "friend-zone". I really couldn't focus on my work, so I tried to shut him up by saying he's an idiot, not least because she already has a boyfriend. I now have a black eye. FML

by getafucktoysomewhereelsedude / 05/16/2013 at 4:31pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, I came home to a flooded apartment and water still pouring from the ceiling. The woman who lives above me is shocked that I would consider her responsible for the damage and doesn't think she should have to pay for it. FML

by Anonymous / 01/06/2013 at 5:01am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous