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PsychoticAsylum

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PsychoticAsylum
  • Town/Country : Oakland, CA, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5432
  • Number of comments : 56
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About PsychoticAsylum : I'm a pretty good person to talk to. I'm a gender neutral person, which means I do not go by she/he, him/her, or male/female. I would prefer to be addressed as they/them/their. I'm a fan of heavy metal and it's many sub-genres but I listen to other music too. I like playing Nintendo video games and reading manga/comic books. My favorite being Kabuki: Circle of Blood. I love to draw, I drew my profile picture.

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You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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PsychoticAsylum's favorite FMLs

Today, I was having birthday dinner with my girlfriend and her parents, when her Dad asked what I got her she replied "He said he was going to give me a Pearl Necklace when we get home." I realized then that my girlfriend did not know what I meant by 'Pearl Necklace.' FML

#250417
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23397) - you deserved it (85302)

On 03/09/2009 at 9:35am - intimacy - by Ethan (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my mom decided to give me a solid reason for not having pre-marital sex. She told me that my future husband will want me to be tight for our first time. My mom and I were on a ski lift. The ride lasted 10 more uncomfortable minutes. FML

#250132
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70641) - you deserved it (4291)

On 03/09/2009 at 6:09am - intimacy - by Yulia (woman) - United States (California)

Today, the man I have been dating for 3 weeks, who told me he owns a high end restaurant in the city, handed me my lunch order through the drive-thru at Wendy's. FML

#241205
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54406) - you deserved it (8707)

On 03/08/2009 at 10:39am - misc - by marge1010 (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got my first tattoo. It was a surprise for my fiancé: our names together over a heart. I went home but before I could show him, he said we had to have a 'talk.' Now my ex's name is tattooed on my back. The kicker? Turns out I'm allergic to the ink. FML

#240686
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52349) - you deserved it (66649)

On 03/08/2009 at 4:47am - intimacy - by anon - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had to run to catch my train, so I didn't get the chance to buy a ticket. When the conductor was in sight, I saw he was a young man and I opened my top a little, in hopes of not having to pay a fine. When I told him I didn't buy a ticket he said: "Close your top, I'm gay". FML

#232857
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18242) - you deserved it (125140)

On 03/07/2009 at 7:03am - intimacy - by Mulee (woman) - Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest)

Today, I was meeting my sister's fiancé. I went to an internet cafe before I went to her house for dinner with them. I was on a computer and there was this really attractive man next to me. I was flirting with him and we exchanged numbers. Turns out, he is my sister's fiancé. FML

#220247
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59203) - you deserved it (5558)

On 03/05/2009 at 7:39pm - love - by f*** (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was in the gym, when i noticed three trainers who worked there staring at me. Thinking that they were checking me out, i turned the speed on the tread mill higher. Finally one of the trainers came over, and asked me to leave until i got a sports bra that actually worked. FML

#209594
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21113) - you deserved it (40973)

On 03/04/2009 at 6:45pm - health - by girlie (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was in spanish class, having a debate about the death penalty. When I went to make a point, I meant to say "La pena de muerte", which means "The death penalty". I said, "La pene de muerte". Turns out that means, "The penis of death". FML

#206263
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22124) - you deserved it (36026)

On 03/04/2009 at 12:42pm - misc - by Señor Guapo (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was having sex with my wife when my 14 year old daughter from her room texts me, "Stop." FML

#197620
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26303) - you deserved it (66922)

On 03/03/2009 at 5:28pm - intimacy - by dad (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, for my two-year anniversary I got my girlfriend a very expensive diamond necklace. She got me male enhancement pills. FML

#197066
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (136316) - you deserved it (15285)

On 03/03/2009 at 4:40pm - intimacy - by eaa145 (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I asked my girlfriend when she would give me a blowjob. She replied, "you know that won't happen, I'm a vegetarian." FML

#195442
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60300) - you deserved it (27239)

On 03/03/2009 at 1:29pm - intimacy - by Sal (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was sitting in traffic for about an hour. I've heard stories about people doing the dirty in their cars and I never do anything risky so I thought, why not, I'll be here a while, no one can see me: I'll masturbate. Midway through I hear a tap on my driver's window. Its a police officer. FML

#192974
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25408) - you deserved it (130612)

On 03/03/2009 at 1:29am - intimacy - by imanidiot (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I came home to find that my room had been ransacked. My mom comes out of no where and says that we need to have a talk. I freaked out thinking it was all the empty alcohol bottles under my bed. My mom holds up the birth control and says "I always knew you were a whore." FML

#185042
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59360) - you deserved it (15930)

On 03/02/2009 at 4:03pm - misc - by Stairway2Heaven - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, a customer opened with "you open bottles with them thangs?" I look around my desk for something he might confuse with an actual bottle opener. His girlfriend then informs me he is talking about my breasts. I work for a bank. FML

#176117
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38645) - you deserved it (3237)

On 03/01/2009 at 9:31pm - work - by bottlepoppin (woman) - United States (Ohio)



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