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The all-time greatest FMLs

Bundled

By Anonymous - 01/04/2025 20:00 - Canada

Today, I cancelled all my streaming subscriptions and signed up for a “bundle deal” to save money. Turns out the deal was just all my old subscriptions repackaged under a new name. I’m still paying the same price, but now with ads. FML

I agree, your life sucks 143

You deserved it 473

Tonight, on The Pitt…

By Ughhhhhhhhhhhh - 09/02/2026 15:00

Today, I had a seizure and went to the hospital. Turns out, when you put in a tampon, forget, then get horny, your dildo can push the tampon all the way up to your cervix, where it will fester until you become septic. I'm now on antibiotics and horribly ill, but at least I know why I've been so tired recently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 143

You deserved it 388

Assumptions

By Anonymous - 31/03/2026 22:00

Today, I discovered my sister's fiance's name multiple times in the guestbooks of the hotel I work at, each time with a different woman, so I told her and she dumped him. It turns out it was a guy who had the same name, but it wasn't him. He won't take her back, and now she hates me. I thought I was being a good sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 143

You deserved it 727

A tad harsh

By Fat blob - 10/09/2026 22:00 - Switzerland - Zurich

Today, an aunt asked me why I'm single. I laughed and said, "I know my value, and I have high standards. Men can't handle that." My cousin burst into laughter and said, "What value? You're 36 and 300 pounds. Your value is zero!" I cried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 143

You deserved it 490

A lot going on

By Anonymous - 14/06/2025 15:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I threw a get together and one of my friends came. She recently lost a good friend. It made me realise how selfish I’ve been to want to end things, and I can’t imagine seeing her sob into someone else’s arms about me. I feel terrible, I love her…am I horrible? FML

I agree, your life sucks 143

You deserved it 428

Quick

By Bad interning - 24/04/2026 20:00 - Australia

Today, I was asked to “schedule a quick call” with a client in a different time zone. I double-checked everything… except daylight savings. I sent the invite, joined the call early, and waited alone for 20 minutes before realising I'd scheduled it an hour off. My manager had to email the client an apology while I learned more about time zones than I ever wanted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 143

You deserved it 339

Small business woes

By Anonymous - 26/04/2026 12:00 - United Kingdom - Glasgow

Today, I run a small online shop and I got an order from a new customer. I packed everything, added a handwritten thank-you note… and mixed up the shipping label with another package. One customer got handmade candles, the other got a box of unrelated items and a note saying, “Hope this smells amazing.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 143

You deserved it 327

Heavy lifting

By Anonymous - 04/12/2023 22:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I realised I may have a drinking problem when the recycling bin was due to go out and I physically couldn’t move the bin. I thought my kids might have put a rock in there but no, it was weighed down by the sheer weight of two weeks worth of wine bottles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 143

You deserved it 826

Lost in time

By Anonymous - 13/01/2026 15:00

Today, I told a coworker, “Enjoy your weekend!” out of pure muscle memory. It was Monday morning. They stared at me for a full second before quietly saying, “I will... in five days.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 143

You deserved it 276

Badass fighting talk

By Welp - 19/04/2023 15:00 - United States

Today, I was caught trying to use the employee bathroom at the back of the store when an employee asked if I worked there. I responded with, “Oh what? Are you a hall monitor? That’s what I thought!” but ended up bumping into a corner and my nose started bleeding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 143

You deserved it 1 694

Self-respect?

By Susie - 10/03/2023 12:00

Today, I’ve spent ages trying to achieve the shade of red hair, getting various similar tattoos, and getting green contacts so I can be the exact replica of the girl my ex-fiancé left me for so I can win him back. He still prefers to be with her. What else am I missing then? FML

I agree, your life sucks 143

You deserved it 3 065

Out of time

By STRESSED OUT - 01/08/2026 15:00 - United Kingdom - Hull

Today, I set ten alarms for an important appointment and still woke up convinced I’d missed it. I spent the morning panicking for no reason and showed up looking exactly how I felt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 143

You deserved it 227

Mutilation denied

By Fuck you I'm crying I would give you so many kids - 09/01/2026 15:00

Today, the man I thought I'd marry dumped me in a parking lot, because I insisted that any boys would be circumcised so my son wouldn't be confused. He literally said, "Circumcision is a deal breaker. Get out of my car." FML

I agree, your life sucks 143

You deserved it 930

Burger, everything burger

By HANGRYGAL - 15/09/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, I went through a drive-thru and ordered enough food for three people. The cashier asked if I needed extra napkins “for the group.” I panicked and said, “Yes, for the kids in the back.” There are no kids. Just me, alone, eating like a human trash compactor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 143

You deserved it 454

It's for science!

By Ana - 19/10/2023 05:00 - United States

Today, I finally got round to cleaning out my refrigerator. As I reached the back, I found an unidentifiable, moldy object lurking in the corner. Upon closer inspection, I realized it was once a cucumber. I'm growing science experiments in my fridge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 143

You deserved it 756

Brain fog

By Wilmot - 22/10/2025 12:00

Today, I went through a drive-thru and ordered a coffee. The cashier asked, “Hot or iced?” I panicked and said, “Yes.” We both just stared at each other until she said, “So… which one?” I wanted to drive away and never return. FML

I agree, your life sucks 143

You deserved it 340

Where is my mind?

By Anonymous - 01/08/2026 22:00 - United States - Portland

Today, I spent minutes trying to open my apartment door before realizing I was one floor above my own. My terrified neighbor watched me struggle with my keys through their peephole the entire time, until he yelled "I'M CALLING 911!" and I realized where I was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 142

You deserved it 301

Many such cases

By Anonymous - 10/04/2025 22:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I was in a meeting at work, trying to keep my composure. I quietly shifted in my chair and accidentally let out a fart. It echoed in the conference room, and everyone stared at me in stunned silence. My boss sarcastically said, “Well, that’s just, like, your opinion, man.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 142

You deserved it 213

Smooth

By Jank - 30/06/2024 06:00 - United Kingdom - Doncaster

Today, on a third and hopefully eventful date, I tried to be smooth and pull out my date's chair for them at a restaurant. I misjudged the distance and ended up pulling the chair out from under them completely, causing them to fall. The rest of the date was spent apologizing profusely. No third base either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 142

You deserved it 602

Germ warfare

By Anonymous - 28/11/2025 20:00

Today, as punishment for getting caught kissing my precious newborn grandbaby two years ago, my son and his nasty wife have barred me from even meeting my second grandbaby until she's at least two months old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 142

You deserved it 1 094

Emotional

By Anonymous - 15/04/2023 10:00 - Australia

Today, I sent a WhatsApp message to my boss that was meant for my ex-boyfriend. The message was a picture of my middle finger. Note to self: always check which conversation window you're typing/sending pictures in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 142

You deserved it 1 178

Obsessed and possessed

By ugh just make it stop - 01/07/2023 18:00

Today, after weeks of my yelling, my boyfriend finally listened and got a hobby. Instead of getting into something sensible like martial arts, he chose tabletop gaming. Now I have to listen to hours of boring stories about pretend fantasy worlds, and admit to everyone that my boyfriend is a nerd. FML

I agree, your life sucks 142

You deserved it 2 021

Crossed wires

By Anonymous - 25/10/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, as a good friend, I went to pick up my buddy from the airport. I arrived at the wrong terminal and waited for an hour before realizing he had landed an hour earlier at the other terminal. By the time I found his whereabouts, he'd already taken an Uber home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 142

You deserved it 483

Insane cake situation is insane

By Ethan - 12/05/2026 12:00 - United States - Fresno

Today, at a wedding reception, on a crowded dance floor, it was a perfect opportunity for a candid photo. I took one step back without looking and bumped straight into the cake table, then watched in slow motion as the entire cake tipped and slid off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 142

You deserved it 446

The deal

By Anonymous - 25/09/2023 10:00

Today, after a day of anxiety and worry that something bad would happen, I decided to keep my two daughters home from being flower girls at my sister's wedding. Now my sister and entire family is blowing up my phone. Apparently her wedding is my important than a mother worried about her babies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 142

You deserved it 2 506

Don't look

By Anonymous - 24/07/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, I realized that my sense of attraction is so incredibly messed up and geeky that I found the "Rib Woman" monster in the World Of Horror game that I play fascinating. Do not look up what she looks like, you will be unhappy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 142

You deserved it 325

Mean Girls

By Anonymous - 04/12/2022 02:00 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, my sister and I saw a guy with a terrible nose job coming up the bus. She said to me, "Look how ugly that guy is" in our native tongue. The man sat down right in front of us, took his phone out, and started talking our language. FML

I agree, your life sucks 142

You deserved it 2 010

Trustworthy

By Anonymous - 21/10/2024 22:00 - Canada

Today, I showed up to an important meeting 20 minutes late, claiming I couldn't find my keys. They were in my hand the whole time, and I realized it just as I reached for the doorknob. Everyone saw me pause mid-step, staring at my hand in disbelief. FML

I agree, your life sucks 142

You deserved it 480

Self report

By i got the ring - 13/10/2023 20:00

Today, I told my husband’s ex that she is under no circumstances to contact him for any reason, and that if they must discuss the kids being dropped off, I am to be included as a group text. Her reply? A bunch of laughing emojis. Now he’s pissed at me for trying to protect our marriage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 142

You deserved it 2 222

Cool moves, dude

By Anonymous - 14/09/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, I caught a falling jar in the kitchen with one hand and I felt like an action hero. In celebrating, I yelled, “Did you see that?!” The jar then slipped out of my hand, smashed onto the floor, and splattered sauce all over me. My roommate flipped me the finger and left me to clean up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 142

You deserved it 315

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend found out that if guys eat fruit often, their sperm will taste better. He bought a can of fruit for himself to eat, and said that he bought it just for me. This is the most romantic thing he's ever done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 443

You deserved it 7 905

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Attempting to make things a little more exciting, I said in my sexiest voice, "Oh yeah, harder." My boyfriend who apparently doesn't like talking dirty, pulled out and angrily said, "I was trying, what more do you want?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 78 618

You deserved it 20 227

Random

Today, I have to take time off from work to take part in an intervention because my sister's obsession with the guy from Harry Potter has crossed over into illegality. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 530

You deserved it 3 477

Today, after finally dropping my weight from an overweight 200 to a slim 135, my skin is now loose everywhere, and stretches about two inches out on my stomach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 883

You deserved it 6 921

Today, my day started with me peeing in my own face. My eye still burns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 422

You deserved it 698

Today, my new girlfriend and I finally did the deed. I also realized today that I have a strange kink. An outie belly button. FML

I agree, your life sucks 627

You deserved it 284

Today, I got in trouble for following the rules at work. This is the third workplace where this has happened. Each time, when I provided the written document that showed the rules that I followed, I was told, "Well…" Don't make it a "rule" if it's really going to be a guideline with 50+ possible exceptions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 487

You deserved it 148

Today, I got home and my wife was pissed that I'd forgotten our plans. She then refused to tell me what I forgot and went to bed. I know my memory’s bad so I always write stuff down, but there’s nothing on our joint calendar, nothing on my calendar, no Post-it notes, texts, or emails, nothing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 526

You deserved it 100