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The all-time greatest FMLs

Entitlement

By Anonymous - 02/05/2024 16:00 - United States

Today, despite the fact that we are well off and desperate to be parents, my sister refuses to let us adopt her unborn baby, and intends to “raise him on her own.” We earn twice what she does and have been trying to conceive or adopt for 7 years, and she doesn’t even have a husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 140

You deserved it 2 618

Not a sponsored post

By Ew - 10/11/2025 15:00

Today, I was introduced to a YouTube musician called S3RL. I was listening to a playlist of his music all day. Then of course when I went to pick up my girlfriend, some song came on that was just exaggerated sex moans pitched into music. She stared at me then burst out laughing and called me a pervert. FML

I agree, your life sucks 140

You deserved it 357

Sidelined

By Anonymous - 24/09/2024 12:00 - India

Today, I was supposed to go on a date with an old friend from college, who has totally turned into a hot MILF after marriage. Of course the date was pre-planned with some steamy sex at my place. However, last night her husband found out about her affair with her neighbour and now she can’t go out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 140

You deserved it 918

Toot etiquette

By Mama - 22/10/2024 20:00 - Switzerland - Basel

Today, I recently taught my 6 year-old son that, to be polite, you have to pretend you haven't noticed if someone farts. Now it embarrassingly just happened to me, and he shouted with a big smile, "See? I'm pretending I didn't hear it!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 140

You deserved it 371

Oh, right

By brainrot - 14/01/2026 03:00

Today, I spent an entire conversation nodding and agreeing with someone, only to realize near the end that I'd misunderstood one key detail and was agreeing with the opposite of what they meant. I laughed awkwardly and said, “Oh, I thought you meant the other thing.” They said, “I know.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 140

You deserved it 336

Down the hatch

By Anonymous - 05/11/2024 15:00 - United States - Boston

Today, I woke up with a hangover and a pounding headache and tried to take an ibuprofen with a glass of water. I missed my mouth and threw the pill directly into my eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 140

You deserved it 508

Keep your distance

By Gale - 14/03/2025 03:00 - United States - Flagstaff

Today, I went in for a hug with my friend, but she leaned in for a kiss on the cheek at the same time. What followed was a full-on awkward face collision where I ended up kissing her on the lips. We both stood there, staring at each other before I muttered, “Sorry, gross." She really took it personally. FML

I agree, your life sucks 140

You deserved it 494

Febreze yourself

By Anonymous - 21/01/2024 22:00 - United States - San Jose

Today, I got kicked out of an Uber for "smelling bad." FML

I agree, your life sucks 140

You deserved it 803

Stuck

By Anonymous - 26/06/2026 03:00 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, I was in and out of my room to cook dinner at 11:30pm and accidentally locked the door. I couldn't jimmy it by myself so called a locksmith who used two of those inflatable car door things and a screwdriver to pop it in 30 seconds flat. Cost me 180 bucks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 140

You deserved it 320

Brave and honest

By Anonymous - 10/04/2024 22:00 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I realized that the woman I love, who is my best friend, deserves better than me at the nadir of my life. We're still just friends, but she's been a much better friend to me than I have been to her. It's time to disappear and fix myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 140

You deserved it 452

Time flies

By Anonymous - 07/05/2024 22:00 - United States - Normal

Today, I had a mental breakdown because I have a 10,000 word final project due on Monday and I have only 800 words written so far, because I have been working on other classes and trying to be outside with my friends in the nice weather this week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 140

You deserved it 909

Too tired for this shit

By Anonymous - 30/07/2023 00:02

Today, I met a girl at an airport before an early flight, after I’d only had 3 hours sleep. She moved here for a job in radiology. We joked, laughed, flirted, and parted ways. I told my friend, who asked why I hadn't get her number. I joked I would’ve if she'd been a doctor. He then says, “Radiologists ARE doctors, duh!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 139

You deserved it 1 523

Batman

By Anonymous - 07/05/2026 12:00 - Canada - Saskatoon

Today, I found out the hard way that my dad sleeps in the nude, when I rushed into my parents room at 3 a.m. to inform them that there was a bat in the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 139

You deserved it 349

You snooze, you lose

By Anonymous - 13/12/2024 22:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I procrastinated so much on asking out the guy I like that this morning I had to wish him a happy first wedding anniversary. Yes, I procrastinated so much that he had time to date someone else, get engaged and married, and make it to the first anniversary, and I still love him. God I’m pathetic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 139

You deserved it 874

Authoritarian regime

By A…… - 02/04/2025 15:00 - Czechia - Prague

Today, after my husband yet again failed to complete his To-Do list, I took away his Xbox and PlayStation and told him he could have them back once the list was done. He stared at me and said, "No. You're not my mother. Give them back and we will talk like adults." FML

I agree, your life sucks 139

You deserved it 1 210

What's going on here?

By Kelly - 13/05/2025 09:00 - Australia - Darwin

Today, I brought my new boyfriend to dinner with my family. Everything was going smoothly until my dad asked him how long we’d been dating. My boyfriend looked at me, then said, "Uh, I think it's been… four months?" I looked horrified and said, "It's been TWO!" Now I’m wondering if we’re dating or just two confused people stuck in a situationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 139

You deserved it 569

I could be your girlfriend

By Anonymous - 08/01/2026 12:00

Today, I hate that my best friend has a boyfriend, who doesn't even treat her right by the way. I could treat her way better, she's all I've ever dreamed of. Too bad she's straight. Too bad I'm straight. I might be in love with my best friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 139

You deserved it 474

Close call

By Anonymous - 31/10/2024 12:00 - United States - Bremerton

Today, I woke up and realized I had to pee sooo bad. The problem was, I sleep naked with my partner, who lives with one of their sisters. I didn't have time to get dressed before running to a shared bathroom, and even then I "drizzled" a little bit on the bathroom floor. I cleaned it and myself up but still… FML

I agree, your life sucks 139

You deserved it 513

UFO

By Anonymous - 29/07/2026 09:00 - United Kingdom - Cardiff

Today, I found a mysterious container in the back of my fridge. I opened it to try and figure out what it was. I still don't know what it was, but now my entire flat smells like it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 139

You deserved it 277

Tasty treat

By Anonymous - 09/10/2025 12:00

Today, I discovered that the delicious beef jerky strips I’ve been eating all week are actually the dog’s teeth cleaning chews. FML

I agree, your life sucks 139

You deserved it 461

Sneaked in

By GameMeetsGame2024 - 30/06/2024 12:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, an attractive woman was flirting with me from across a coffee shop. When I walked over and introduced myself, she served me with my divorce paperwork. FML

I agree, your life sucks 139

You deserved it 1 060

More help needed!

By Emma - 11/02/2026 09:00

Today, it's only four days until my high school's Valentines Day dance. I want to ask my best guy friend - I'm an 18 year-old girl - but I'm always thinking of my BFF, also an 18 year-old girl. No we're not gay, but our conversations have taught me we - two straight teen girls - may be soul mates. What should I do? FML

I agree, your life sucks 139

You deserved it 325

Lesson learned

By Anonymous - 10/12/2023 18:00 - United Kingdom

Today, whilst showing my kids how to replace a light bulb safely, I gave myself and electric shock, and dropped the bulb. Twice in a row. In hindsight I should have let my husband do all the DIY-based educating, since I now have a glass shard in my big toe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 139

You deserved it 633

Incel fantasy

By April - 22/02/2026 00:00

Today, I hard launched the guy I’ve been dating online. The guy who’s still mad that I friendzoned him commented, “See if he gives you rides, a shoulder to cry on, brings you food, and lets you copy assignments like I did for a year.” My now-ex dumped me and called me “heartless” for “using that poor guy.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 139

You deserved it 654

Impressed indeed

By Anonymous - 12/12/2024 09:00 - Poland - Warsaw

Today, I proudly showed off my new DIY bookshelf to my family. Everyone seemed impressed until my cat jumped on it, the whole thing collapsed, and it narrowly missed my grandmother. Now my family thinks I need to hire professionals for every project. FML

I agree, your life sucks 139

You deserved it 571

That's my jam

By Anonymous - 29/10/2023 06:00 - Germany - Welle

Today, needing some new music, I logged on to YouTube and clicked "Like" on a few different tracks I enjoy, hoping to spark some good suggestions from the algorithm. My “Personal Mix” now consists of boring, generic techno remixes, with videos showing 100% half-naked women and fast cars. FML

I agree, your life sucks 139

You deserved it 392

A mother's love

By Anna - 02/08/2024 06:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I was stranded on the couch with a sleeping baby. I had my phone, but everything I wanted to do needed both hands, or sound. I was toying with my phone on my lips when someone texted me, causing the phone to vibrate my teeth, which hurt, and to avoid my baby falling, I crunched my shoulder and pulled a muscle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 139

You deserved it 489

They all look the same to me

By Anonymous - 29/09/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, I picked up my daughter from daycare. As we were getting into the car, I strapped her into the car seat, but something felt off. I looked back and realized I had picked up the wrong kid. In my defense, she was wearing the same jacket as my daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 139

You deserved it 623

A very good boy

By Carrie - 16/07/2026 09:00 - United States

Today, I waved at a dog through a car window because it looked pleased to see me. The dog wasn't looking at me. Its owner thought I was waving at him and got out to have a conversation. We talked for ten awkward minutes because he thought I was hitting on him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 139

You deserved it 276

Crumbling

By Benn - 21/06/2024 06:00 - Canada - Montréal

Today, I ran into my ex at the supermarket. Trying to seem nonchalant, I attempted to make small talk while pushing my cart. I didn't notice that I was steering straight into a tower of canned goods until it was too late. FML

I agree, your life sucks 139

You deserved it 494

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The Top

Today, I took my new boyfriend's virginity about 10 minutes ago. He kept whispering, "It’s inside you, it’s actually inside you… feels kind of sticky, slippery, it’s actually inside you I can’t believe it.” It was super off-putting and a bit creepy. And no, I definitely did not orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 612

You deserved it 329

Today, while at the Golden Gate Bridge, I spotted a large group of Asians trying to take a picture. Trying to help, I slowly say, "You... want me... take picture?" while using hand motions. The man looks at me and says, "No thanks asshole, I got it," in plain English. FML

I agree, your life sucks 208

You deserved it 1 183

Random

Today, some ass-bandit broke into my house by smashing a window, just so he could steal the ancient VHS cassette player that my wife wouldn't let me throw away. Thanks, scumbag, but the front door was unlocked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 326

You deserved it 4 370

Today, the kids I babysit hid from me. While I was looking for them, I stepped on multiple strategically-placed Lego bricks. When I yelped from the pain, the kids jumped out and threw soccer balls in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 211

You deserved it 5 269

Today, I couldn't find the keys to open the store I work at. The resulting stress gave me chest pains that ended up sending me to the hospital. I still missed work and my father found the keys under the passenger seat in his car. The same seat I sat in on the way to the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 601

You deserved it 531

Today, it was our first time sleeping in the same bed together. She tossed and turned so much, she actually kicked me out onto the floor, so now I have a black eye and a mild concussion. Ta babe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 859

You deserved it 147

Today, I gave my hubby a hand massage as he's beginning to deal with carpal tunnel issues. He then proceeded to tell me, and I quote, "This is the consequences of not properly stretching as a young guy. I did stretch pussy though." FML

I agree, your life sucks 533

You deserved it 167

Today, my parents forced me to do chores. I worked extra slow to rebel against their tyranny. My dad then said I'm not allowed to get my learner's permit for another six months and took away my phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 88

You deserved it 1 113