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The all-time greatest FMLs

Falling

By Kassy - 16/05/2025 22:00 - United Kingdom - Leeds

Today, I treated myself to an hour long massage. Halfway through, I mumbled, “Thank you” to the masseuse and, without thinking, added, “I love you.” There was a long pause. Then she patted my head and whispered, “You’re welcome.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 158

You deserved it 345

Bollards!

By Anonymous - 20/05/2024 16:00 - United States - Indianapolis

Today, I proudly drove my new car to work, feeling on top of the world. As I parked, I noticed everyone in the lot staring at me. I smiled and waved, thinking they were admiring my car. It wasn't until I got to my desk that my boss informed me I'd dragged an orange traffic cone under my car the entire way to the office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 158

You deserved it 581

It's not just men

By WTF - 05/01/2026 15:00

Today, as we were discussing our plans for 2026, I suggested we go vegan as it's healthier and better for the planet. My husband said, "Ask me to go vegan again and I'll have divorce papers for you the next day." Why? Why are men so adamantly opposed to veganism? FML

I agree, your life sucks 158

You deserved it 1 152

It's a doggy dog world

By Tom - 02/10/2024 09:00 - Netherlands - Zoetermeer

Today, it's been two years since I got a Dobermann as a gift for my husband. For two years he has cried non-stop, constantly played with his privates, reeked of dead corpse, and used shit to mark the entire yard. He cries all night long. I haven’t slept in two years. I think I have sleep deprivation. My husband says he must stay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 158

You deserved it 562

Wardrobe malfunction

By Anonymous - 02/10/2025 09:00

Today, I wore new gym leggings to spin class. Ten minutes in, the instructor gently pulled me aside to whisper, “Those leggings, they’re see-through.” I had been doing squats in front of a full-length mirror the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 158

You deserved it 376

Autopilot

By TuteBananaCupcake - 29/12/2023 20:00 - United States - Dayton

Today, I used the last of the toilet paper to blow my nose while taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 158

You deserved it 599

Cat owners can relate

By Anonymous - 26/10/2025 03:00

Today, I sleepily sprang out of bed to battle a determined off-brand rattly Roomba for the right to clear up a large puddle of cat barf. Guess who won… FML

I agree, your life sucks 158

You deserved it 276

Tricked

By Puck - 26/09/2024 09:00 - Netherlands - 's-Hertogenbosch

Today, I did the "suck your finger" trick in the car to prevent my lipstick from getting on my teeth and halfway locked eyes with a random dude outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 158

You deserved it 366

Cut them off

By Anonymous - 02/11/2024 00:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was yelled at by my ex's best friend and ex-partner. Long story short, I cheated and no, it wasn't right and wasn't a good thing to do, but now I'm being told he has the right to remind me everyday and make sure I never forget my mistakes, and that they are supposed to make sure I never fall out of line. FML

I agree, your life sucks 158

You deserved it 803

Dad of the year

By Anonymous - 20/12/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, even though my bitch of a baby mama makes ten times what I make, the courts are still forcing me to pay child support for the two kids I never wanted. I’m way too busy with my life to have custody of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 158

You deserved it 1 321

The bloat

By Oral fixation maybe? - 15/06/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, I realized I need to cut back on drinking. Not booze, but water. I compulsively drink so much water that my body is bloated from water absorption and I have to pee constantly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 158

You deserved it 303

Love you Mom

By Anonymous - 31/07/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, I tried to log into my bank account online but forgot my password. When I hit “Forgot password?” the security question asked, “What’s your mother’s maiden name?” I put it in and it said, “Incorrect.” It turns out that I've been misspelling it wrong for years and never noticed, despite my mom dying last year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 158

You deserved it 383

Woke of the day

By Don't like being slaughtered - 14/10/2025 15:00

Today, I finally found the courage to confront my Native American parents, who happily celebrate Thanksgiving every year, even though it's a holiday about genocide. They rolled their eyes and said, "Fine. Don't come, we don't want a killjoy like you at dinner." FML

I agree, your life sucks 158

You deserved it 835

Bad dad

By So inappropriate - 09/01/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, I learned that when my husband takes our son shopping and he acts up, my husband picks him up under his arm and carries him around, instead of talking to him and trying to calm or reason with him. I'm FURIOUS. FML

I agree, your life sucks 157

You deserved it 782

Giving up

By ForeverLonely - 31/10/2025 22:00

Today, I’m getting my fallopian tubes removed because I've lost all hope of finding a man. I’m 36 and I've kissed frog after frog and no Prince Charming on the horizon. I can’t get a man to stay/commit to save my life, so I’m throwing away the dream of having a white picket fence family to be confined into celibacy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 157

You deserved it 561

Call it quits

By Anonymous - 12/09/2024 12:00 - United States - Alexandria

Today, after 5 years of being off and on, my boyfriend and I had pinky-swore that we would never break up again, but after a year of this he confessed that he'd had a fling the last time we broke up, and she'd got pregnant with twins. After therapy and marriage we are now trying to have a baby but his ding-a-ling can't get it up because of baby mama drama. FML

I agree, your life sucks 157

You deserved it 681

New horizons

By did I wake up in a porn? - 16/07/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, out of a desire for revenge, I went over and confronted the girl my boyfriend cheated with. Somehow, we ended up in bed together. Worse, she's amazing. I'm now seriously considering asking if we can be a throuple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 157

You deserved it 772

Everyone is replaceable

By Anonymous - 05/06/2023 12:00

Today, I got in an argument with my boss and I dared him to fire me because he has always said he couldn’t run the shop without me. Turns out he was just being nice all this time, my job could in fact be done by his 14 year-old niece with no training in two thirds the time. Yes, he fired me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 157

You deserved it 1 854

Yummy

By Tuna ice cream - 09/09/2025 03:00

Today, after a week of working 18-hour days, I finally sat down to eat more than a sandwich. Unfortunately my kitchen has become a mess and I bypassed the clean bowl I'd put on the counter and ate my ice cream out of the cat's dirty food bowl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 157

You deserved it 387

The more you know

By My mouth tastes like blood - 14/12/2025 22:00

Today, I was able to get dental care for the first time in 4 years. I had been going through all the hygiene motions, but without professional input all that time, no one was there to warn me about the sour candies I had been eating, and how they ruined your teeth anyway. My teeth are well beyond salvageable now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 157

You deserved it 406

Demoted to just a friend, then

By Karina - 30/09/2024 06:00 - United States - Miami

Today, my best friend of 5 years, who I got feelings for, and who I spent endless time bending over backwards and going above and beyond for, once again rejected me. He got into a car accident and I stayed with him all night, only for some girl he never even told me about to come and introduce herself as his girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 157

You deserved it 910

The shape of you

By KLO65 - 17/08/2025 09:00 - United States - Burlington

Today, I told my gym trainer I’d do anything to get in shape. He challenged me to run a mile without stopping. I agreed, then got winded halfway through and dramatically collapsed on the track. A 70 year-oldish woman jogged past me and said, “You’ll live.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 157

You deserved it 457

Self sabotage

By Anonymous - 27/04/2024 22:00 - United States - Normal

Today, I overslept and missed both of my morning classes. I was supposed to lead an instructional discussion in my communications class that was worth a lot of points. Now my grade has dropped from an A to an F. FML

I agree, your life sucks 157

You deserved it 585

Wakey wakey

By Anonymous - 19/12/2025 12:00

Today, I went to bed early, feeling responsible. At 2 a.m., I woke up in a panic because I forgot to set my alarm. While fixing it, I actually turned it off completely. I overslept, missed work, and proved once again that I should never trust myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 157

You deserved it 307

The pros and cons

By Anonymous - 05/01/2024 22:00 - United States - Buffalo

Today, I realized I'm trapped. I might be heading into an abusive relationship that I won't be able to escape, but I can't leave because then I'd break his heart and I love him too much for that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 157

You deserved it 1 127

PUA in training

By Anonymous - 26/01/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, I tried to use a corny pickup line on my crush, but my mind blanked and instead of, "Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?" I blurted, "Did you fall?" He just stared at me and said, "What?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 157

You deserved it 445

Parkour!

By FML Videos - 19/11/2018 18:30 - United States - New York

Michael Scott would be impressed.

I agree, your life sucks 157

You deserved it 247

Keep it

By I tried - 30/10/2025 22:00

Today, I texted my friend’s mom, asking if she could send over my hoodie that I left at their house. Except I didn’t text her, I texted my ex’s mom, who said, “You should probably stop texting me. She’s engaged now.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 157

You deserved it 349

Introverts! Hide!

By ??? - 17/01/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, I was home alone when the doorbell rang. I panicked and hid under the table because I wasn’t expecting anyone and I have minor social anxiety. It was just Amazon dropping off a package. I made eye contact with the delivery guy through the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 157

You deserved it 493

Thanks Dad, but…

By Sad cuck - 09/10/2025 22:00

Today, my dad called in a rage, saying he caught my "cheating whore" girlfriend at a bar on a date. I had to admit to him that she and I participate in a cuckold lifestyle. The sheer disgust and disappointment in his voice has been haunting me all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 157

You deserved it 561

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The Top

Random

Today, on site, my client was certain she had switched off her electric fence prior to me conducting an inspection of her boundary retaining wall. I overbalanced on my ladder and grabbed at the fence wires for support. The electricity was not switched off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 906

You deserved it 927

Today, my boss brought his cat to the office. Despite our no pet policy, I still managed to get the blame when the crazy animal scratched 3 colleagues and peed on the floor after my boss left for bathroom. Apparently I was supposed to be "looking after it". FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 746

You deserved it 2 360

Today, my boyfriend proposed. The ring just had a piece of graphite on it. My boyfriend argued that since graphite and diamonds are both just forms of carbon, it is the same thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 746

You deserved it 14 350

Today, my mom and I were going to the store. I stayed in the car while she went in. In the car next to me, there was a dog in the driver's seat barking at me. Bored, I barked back at it until I realized there was someone in the passenger's seat watching me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 241

You deserved it 35 387

Today, I felt so unwell that I didn't fall asleep until 4 AM. The baby woke up at 5, ready to start the day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 306

You deserved it 593

Today, I remembered to show some customers at work photos of my cat that I had taken recently, and they love my "flat face" cat. All good, until I scrolled to a whole body nude I had taken to send to my boyfriend. I showed it to an entire family during my breakfast rush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 441

You deserved it 2 089