The Top

The most agreed on FMLs The most commented on FMLs The most favorited

The top of the day The top of the week The top of the month The top of the year

The all-time greatest FMLs

Wicked

By Brenna - 15/12/2025 03:00

Today, I was giving my fiancé some change from my wallet. When I went to hand it to him, he was standing a few feet away from me, so in my best witch voice I said, “Come closer, my child.” Then he got really offended and embarrassed because he thought I was making fun of the size of his junk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 386

You deserved it 90

I'll just order an Uber…

By Anonymous - 30/07/2025 20:00 - United Kingdom

Today, our third date went so well, we went straight back to her place, tearing each others clothes off. It was only afterwards I noticed what a shithole her house was. Clothes and mess everywhere, broken furniture, overflowing cat litter boxes. I could even smell her unwashed bedsheets on my skin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 386

You deserved it 213

Time to flee the crime scene

By Anonymous - 22/10/2022 10:00

Today, my date from the night before let me stay behind when he had left for work. While relaxing, I figured I'd be fine to let a little fart out. Unbeknownst to me, not eating enough food over the past few days turned the contents of my bowels to liquid. I sharted on their bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 386

You deserved it 911

Stuck

By Anonymous - 12/08/2026 09:00 - United States - Dallas

Today, my parents canceled our trip to Greece because my siblings were being brats. When I tried to point out that I wasn't doing anything, they just shrugged and said, "Sorry honey." FML

I agree, your life sucks 386

You deserved it 69

The master of the house

By Damn cats - 13/10/2022 04:00

Today, I had to use the bathroom when I woke up this morning. My cat was sitting in front of the toilet and absolutely refused to move. I seriously tried every humane way of getting her to move, but she didn't budge. I had to sit really awkwardly on the toilet to do my business. When I stood up, she moved. FML

I agree, your life sucks 386

You deserved it 2 009

Safe driver, huh?

By Blind idiot - 11/03/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, as I came home from work, I got to my car and was wondering why the door wouldn't open. My eyesight is poor and it was super dark outside, so I didn't realize it wasn't my car until the owner appeared and threatened to call the police. I might need to invest in night-vision goggles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 386

You deserved it 236

Interference

By Anonymous - 18/08/2024 00:00 - Canada - L'Assomption

Today, I found out that my "I don't care about boy problems" friend decided it would be a great idea to talk to my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend about me. My ex was the one who told me. He thought I'd asked my friend to do it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 386

You deserved it 119

Old school internet athiest

By Fuck you bitch - 25/06/2026 22:00 - Canada - Montreal

Today, I yet again had to endure one of my patients talking about how their "faith in God" helped them. No bitch, the MEDICINE helped you, not your fake "God" who hates queer people like me. I wish I could yank your IV and see how much help "God" is to you then. FML

I agree, your life sucks 386

You deserved it 621

Man's best friend

By Anonymous - 20/07/2026 15:00 - United Kingdom - Woking

Today, I have a dog I got to help motivate me to keep active and prevent the worsening of my chronic pain and limited mobility. My dog just got diagnosed with chronic pain and limited mobility. Misery likes company, I guess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 386

You deserved it 62

Moral high horse

By Anonymous - 30/10/2023 20:00 - Germany

Today, my sister was quite obviously looking down on me for not knowing the trendy sustainable hair soap in little net baggies that “everyone” uses now. Years ago, when I was already using regular hair soap instead of shampoo, she looked down on me for being a "greenie." FML

I agree, your life sucks 386

You deserved it 104

Make it make sense

By Anonymous - 27/11/2025 15:00

Today, I was told it is "fatphobic" to "assume someone's weight is related to their food choices" and that I have a "problematic relationship with food." All because I didn't want to eat a bigger slice of the cake someone brought in at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 386

You deserved it 70

Ewwwwwww

By Anonymous - 31/05/2025 09:00 - China - Guangzhou

Today, on my way home from school, I accidentally stepped on a dead rat. That gross squishy feeling and the sound of its bones cracking… I'm never going to forget that for the rest of my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 386

You deserved it 83

Let it out

By Depressed af - 06/02/2026 09:00

Today, I'd built up the courage to talk to my doctor about anxiety, even rehearsing what to say. When she asked, “So what brings you in today?” I immediately burst into tears, said, “I don’t know,” then apologized for crying. She handed me tissues and said, “This happens a lot,” which somehow made me cry harder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 386

You deserved it 106

Right on time

By Debz - 29/07/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, I was already late so I sprinted to catch the bus. Just as I jumped on, my left shoe flew off, and I practically tripped over my own feet, falling flat on my face in a bus full of strangers. The driver asked, "You OK Ma’am?" while stifling laughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 385

You deserved it 114

Messy

By Anonymous - 06/05/2024 15:00 - Germany

Today, my cat has a new hobby: She goes fishing. As in she catches the frogs out of the ornamental pond, then walks into my freshly mopped kitchen with dripping wet, muddy feet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 385

You deserved it 172

Antisocial

By Hope he chokes - 10/01/2026 03:00

Today, my asswipe coworker yet again microwaved some disgusting fish dish at work, stinking out the break room for days. If we say anything, he runs to HR and complains of "racism" and "hostile work environment." God, I sound like a disgusting Trump-sucker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 385

You deserved it 198

You've been Boeberted

By Anonymous - 17/03/2026 22:00

Today, I had to retrieve my son from the police station because him and his girlfriend decided a blowjob in the back row of the cinema was a good idea when they have night vision cameras in there and security guards and a very high definition picture printer for evidence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 385

You deserved it 106

Paralysed

By Worthless - 16/12/2025 22:00

Today, I sat on the sofa for eleven hours, paralyzed with anxiety. When my husband got home, nothing was done. We ate cold sandwiches off paper plates. Now he has to catch up on everything and I feel so useless I could just cry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 385

You deserved it 245

Enjoy yourself, it's later than you think

By Anonymous - 14/05/2026 09:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my moms are driving me mad. My biological mom, a therapist, keeps telling me I need to try new things because life is short. My non-biological mom, a doctor, keeps telling me everything new I want to try has health risks that will shorten my life even further. FML

I agree, your life sucks 385

You deserved it 75

20/20

By Anonymous - 11/10/2023 00:02 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I rushed to urgent care after suddenly developing a dark spot in the vision of one of my eyes. Long story short, I paid $110 for the doctor to remove an eyelash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 385

You deserved it 510

Taste from hell

By I’m so sorry - 17/12/2022 00:00

Today, I ordered lunch from DoorDash. I was surprised by how good the dish was, and went back on to rate the dish, and sent it. Without realizing, my phone autocorrected my review to “it looks the way hell tastes”. I don’t even know what I tried to say. I hope they don’t spit in my food next time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 385

You deserved it 751

Atomic family

By Anonymous - 27/03/2026 22:00

Today, I found out that my dad and mom, who just passed away, were never married and that my siblings and I weren't actually his. Now there's the very real possibility that we could be taken away. I'll die if that happens. FML

I agree, your life sucks 385

You deserved it 65

Not a great idea

By Anonymous - 15/04/2025 12:00 - United States - Steele

Today, I have reached that point in my life: my wisdom teeth have made their presence known. My mom says I don't need to see a dentist, because, "they'll come out by themselves." As it turns out, that can happen, but it's extremely rare. I'd rather not bet on a random, unlikely chance, but she insists. Help me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 385

You deserved it 88

Quibbles

By Damn, Apple Worshippers! - 02/02/2026 12:00

Today, my dad's girlfriend's adult son not only questions, but also mocks and spits on my poor choices in life. All because I got an ROG 9 Pro rather than an iPhone. He claims his iPhone 12 is far more superior, brandishing its features biblically while pointing out the flaws of mine like blasphemy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 385

You deserved it 100

Welcome to the neighborhood

By Desperate housewife - 13/02/2025 22:00 - United States - Miami

Today, I tried to make a good first impression by bringing homemade cookies to my new neighbors. I dropped the entire plate of cookies on their porch, and the dog across the street immediately rushed over and ate them. My new neighbors were very polite about it, but I’m pretty sure they think I'm a psycho. FML

I agree, your life sucks 385

You deserved it 128

Ignorance never dies

By Racist ass - 22/08/2025 20:00 - United States - New York

Today, my husband told our daughter to eat with her fork, not her hands. She said that in Africa, people eat with their hands. He said, "Yeah, and they cut up little girls' vaginas with a razor blade there too." Now she's traumatized. FML

I agree, your life sucks 385

You deserved it 182

Thanks, I hate it!

By Anonymous - 08/07/2026 09:00 - United States - Bridgeport

Today, a friend temporarily staying at my house with his cats scared one of them into my basement, where the cat then climbed up within the walls to somewhere on the second floor. He then left as he was on a deadline to get to TN by a specific time. He told me I could keep his cat, who is stuck somewhere in a wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 385

You deserved it 65

Perfect

By steakgoesmoooo - 16/05/2023 00:00

Today, I put my perfectly-broiled steak portion in the microwave to keep it from the cats while it rested. I accidentally hit "cook" instead of "timer". My perfect rare steak is now almost perfectly half-leather and half-charcoal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 385

You deserved it 887

Job performance

By AZlan - 10/03/2025 15:00 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was in a long meeting and desperately needed to fart. I carefully tried to release it slowly, but of course, it was the loudest fart I've ever made. Just after it happened, my boss looked at me and said, “That's the best contribution you've ever made in one of these meetings.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 385

You deserved it 353

Dominatrix

By Grudges - 01/11/2025 20:00

Today, I found an odd notebook in my wife's desk and opened it. I learned why our sex life has gotten so boring: every time I upset her, she secretly bans something sexual. For instance: "June 16th - dented car - no more lingerie" or "August 9th - forgot wallet on date night - no more rope play." FML

I agree, your life sucks 385

You deserved it 152

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Embarrassing Coworkers Smells Work Family Miscellaneous Funerals Awkward Money Food Health Kids Friends Love Transportation Cheating NSFW Sex Intimacy Frustration Teachers Relatable Parents I need your advice Instagram Ghosting Social Media Weddings Weird Crush

The Top

Today, my family and I were at a restaurant. We're Swedish and love talking about people in our language because no one ever understands here. I decided to comment about how ugly the girl at the next table was. She turned around and goes "Dra åt helvete." That's Swedish for "Go to hell." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 904

You deserved it 326 760

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Attempting to make things a little more exciting, I said in my sexiest voice, "Oh yeah, harder." My boyfriend who apparently doesn't like talking dirty, pulled out and angrily said, "I was trying, what more do you want?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 78 618

You deserved it 20 227

Random

Today, I'm faced with the prospect of having to defend my sister from a herd of very angry bronies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 579

You deserved it 2 556

Today, my boyfriend informed me that my vagina reminds him of ham. But that's okay, because ham is his favorite food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 261

You deserved it 5 584

Today, I was hanging out with my boyfriend when we started messing around. Things were getting really hot when he got a call from his best friend, whose grandfather had just died. As they were talking and I heard her crying, he unzipped his pants and mouthed, "She won't know." FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 019

You deserved it 7 538

Today, at my retail job, I was trying to get a large amount of cardboard to the trash and had a short path to maneuver through displays and customers. As I'm coming down the aisle, a customer sees me and stops to look at a coffee cup display, directly in my path. FML

I agree, your life sucks 856

You deserved it 124

Today, I was supposed to fly home for my dad's funeral, but the woman in the seat next to me was so obese, her bulging flesh left absolutely no way for me to sit in my seat. I complained to the stewardess, who then forced me to leave the plane just for raising my voice in frustration. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 022

You deserved it 517

Today, I was walking through a park when I saw someone running toward me. I thought he was jogging but quickly realized he was wearing nothing other than a grin. As he passed me, he yelled, “I’m freeeee!” I’m still trying to figure out why that was the moment I decided to take a sip of my coffee, because the shock made it come out of my nostrils. FML

I agree, your life sucks 372

You deserved it 95