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The all-time greatest FMLs

Bygone days

By No fun for me then - 08/04/2025 20:00 - United Kingdom - Cardiff

Today, my wife was telling me about some kinky things she did with a previous boyfriend. Since my sexual adventures were fairly limited compared to hers, I commented that I would like to try that sometime. She said, "Why would we have kinky sex? We're already married." She was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 463

You deserved it 99

We can be friends

By Anonymous - 09/09/2025 00:00

Today, I was told that it's "weird" for a single guy to go to events by himself and that I should go places with my friends if I "didn't want to look creepy." It was a speed-friending event. I don't have any friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 463

You deserved it 97

Standing to attention

By Anonymous - 27/04/2022 02:00

Today, I told my girlfriend that for whatever reason I find it really difficult to orgasm stood up in the shower, she immediately demanded sex in the shower on the basis that without my orgasm maybe I’ll finally last long enough for her to orgasm first, or even at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 463

You deserved it 2 225

No reply

By Alex - 06/02/2024 12:00 - United States - Jeffersonville

Today, my mom didn’t answer the phone when I called. My husband promptly said, with a straight face, “Would you answer you?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 463

You deserved it 165

Bigfoot

By Hairy ass - 08/02/2024 00:00 - Germany - Frankfurt am Main

Today, in the locker room, I saw a girl with a nice hairless ass changing in front of me and the only thing I could think of was how hairy my ass would look if I dared to change in front of other people like she did. I’m also a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 463

You deserved it 196

Kid A

By Anonymous - 25/09/2025 09:00

Today, me and my husband are having our first big marital argument. Our baby still doesn’t have a name, all because I want to call her a normal name and he wants to call her some obscure name from an anime he really likes. I’ve never seen him this stubborn about anything this stupid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 463

You deserved it 160

Skeptic

By Anonymous - 02/06/2024 09:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my son told me not to be silly, because things like the Tooth Fairy and Santa don’t exist. He’s three years old. I guess we’ll just skip all the magical moments of his childhood I was looking forward to, and start the process of turning him into a soulless adult who doesn’t know how to have fun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 463

You deserved it 264

FOMO FML

By Anonymous - 22/02/2022 10:00

Today, my church friends ditched me to go skiing with a bunch of jewish basketball players from another school. They said I’d "harsh the vibe" with my "principles". The photos they post online look like they’re having a lot of fun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 463

You deserved it 1 192

Merry holidays!

By Anonymous - 23/12/2023 00:00 - Australia

Today, I started antibiotics for a UTI. Now, along with a burning sensation whenever I pee, I also need to try not to fall asleep, put up with the headaches, nausea, and lightheadedness from the tablets, all while working two jobs and being a parent. Six days to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 463

You deserved it 118

The body keeps the score

By Shitty situation hur hur - 23/07/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, my wife called me at work, crying, because she shat her pants. I'd feel more sympathy if she ever ate fruit, or vegetables, or anything other than sugar and carbs, or took the prescription fiber supplements her doctor prescribed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 463

You deserved it 125

Pineapple juice

By Anonymous - 26/12/2023 00:00 - United States

Today, I was talking to my girlfriend when she said, "Babe, I'm not trying to be rude but your cum tastes horrible." I didn't know how to respond so I said, "Okay." Apparently, me saying that means i won't try to make my cum taste better, which I can "definitely do", and now she's mad at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 463

You deserved it 307

Judgemental much?

By Anonymous - 27/04/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, no matter how well we tried to raise out daughter, things aren't looking too bright. I was present, I listened, and she told me her problems. My husband was always there for her too, no matter what. She works and studies but her role models consist of celebrities and girls who sell themselves on OnlyFans. FML

I agree, your life sucks 463

You deserved it 220

Bye bye love

By Charm - 01/05/2026 12:00 - United States

Today, my 54 year-old partner is leaving me for his 26 year-old coworker. She’s younger than our two kids, 32 and 29. He seriously sees nothing wrong because she’s “a consenting adult.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 463

You deserved it 123

Leaked

By Anonymous - 16/01/2023 10:00

Today, I had morning sex before I had to rush to work, and everything decided to leak out of me over an hour later into my underwear. I quickly rinsed them in the bathroom and put them back on, only the wet patch then soaked into my pants when I sat down, so it looked like I’d majorly peed myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 463

You deserved it 1 427

Never drink and text

By sadd - 23/07/2022 10:00

Today, like a drunk idiot, I texted my ex to ask if he maybe still had feelings for me. He texted back that yes, he did still have feelings for me, but then he has a wank and the feelings all disappear down the toilet wrapped in a tissue. Not gonna lie, I cried myself to sleep clutching a bottle of Schnapps. FML

I agree, your life sucks 463

You deserved it 1 713

Here's how I feel…

By Anonymous - 02/08/2024 00:00 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, I love my parents, but I'm culturally obliged to support them. However, I always feel sad because I can't purchase and pursue what I want, because my finances will suffer. I feel like I cannot enjoy my life to the fullest. They think I have money all the time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 463

You deserved it 127

Supermarket sweep

By Anonymous - 20/09/2024 09:00 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, I was using self-checkout at the grocery store, and the machine flipped out and started randomly announcing, "Please wait for assistance." No one came to help, but the machine just kept loudly repeating it until everyone stared at me like I was trying to steal grapes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 463

You deserved it 86

But… why?

By Anonymous - 17/12/2023 00:00 - United States

Today, my relationship of over a decade ended very badly and suddenly. He asked for one last favor and I agreed… before realizing it meant I had to go to the church where we'd always planned to marry. Thanks for the final stake to the heart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 463

You deserved it 201

Shoot your shot

By Unlucky - 06/07/2024 14:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I finally told the guy I like that I'm in love with him. He's the first person I have ever fallen in love with and owning up to my feelings was nerve-wracking due to my anxiety. He rejected me and ghosted me after saying he would get in touch soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 463

You deserved it 179

Uncle Fester

By Anonymous - 16/03/2026 15:00

Today, my asshole uncle stole the painkillers I was prescribed after my surgery. To top it all off, the pharmacy called CPS on my mom when she attempted to replace them because they thought she was lying, so they're going to be investigating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 463

You deserved it 63

Thanksgiving? I hate it!

By Philomena - 28/11/2024 14:00 - United States - Birmingham

Today, it's Thanksgiving and I've spent the last few days imploring my husband not to antagonize my Trump-loving family by talking about the fact that they didn't look into what tariffs were at the time, and now they might have to close their business. Wish me luck… FML

I agree, your life sucks 463

You deserved it 277

No sleep til colon!

By Anonymous - 23/07/2024 14:00 - United States - Duluth

Today, after I lost my job because my position was eliminated last Friday, I'm in such a state of fear about losing my home, and having to re-home my animals (who are my children) that I haven't been able to sleep most of the week. My only hope for rest comes Monday, when I have my first colonoscopy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 463

You deserved it 156

Multitasking

By Anonymous - 09/04/2025 03:00

Today, my wife picked up her phone, answered a text, added a few things to her phone's shopping list, and looked at her phone calendar to remind me I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow. She did all this whilst my penis was inside her, giving it my best effort as well. Self confidence zero. FML

I agree, your life sucks 462

You deserved it 175

True love will find you in the end

By Anonymous - 31/03/2024 06:00 - Pakistan

Today, I'm going through the first/worst heartbreak of my life, all while studying for med school finals. Every time I try to focus on studying, I see a flashback of his smile and I melt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 462

You deserved it 174

Alexa, play "****** Addict" by Buzzcocks

By Anonymous - 24/06/2023 10:00 - United States - Monroe

Today, I stopped using porn by blocking it on my phone and laptop. Only problem is I still get off without it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 462

You deserved it 439

Sneaking around

By Anonymous - 24/07/2024 00:00 - United States - Elkton

Today, and as of late, my girlfriend of 6 months has been getting distant with me, but reassures me that she still loves me. I found out she was hanging out with her ex-girlfriend of two years. They even went out to dinner, and she didn't tell me. I was planning on taking her out tonight too, and I only found out because my friend ran into them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 462

You deserved it 135

Waste of time

By Anonymous - 23/03/2025 12:00 - United States - Belton

Today, the lab wouldn't let me do my pre-employment drug test because they had no time when I had to pee really bad. They signed me in to do other blood work I needed, but when I asked to use the bathroom, they said it was for drug testing only. I peed myself in the lobby and couldn't do the blood test either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 462

You deserved it 95

You can't moan, can you?

By She does this for everything - 13/09/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, my wife asked for water, complaining about being thirsty. I got off the couch, walked two rooms over, got a jug of water from the fridge, and came back. She spent the entire time ranting about how thirsty she was, and when I handed her the water, she set it down and continued to complain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 462

You deserved it 97

Antiques roadshow

By Anonymous - 21/04/2026 12:00 - United Kingdom

Today, we needed to get an antique dresser downstairs for sale. While I was fetching a cart to wheel it down safely, my wife and boys decided to impress me by carrying it. The plaster on the walls now needs repair, as does the banister and glass front door. Plus the dresser is now unsellable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 462

You deserved it 61

Communication unclear

By Anonymous - 24/11/2023 18:00 - Germany

Today, I said to my man, "You used to tell me you love me, but lately you don’t even want me telling you." He responded with a story about his clogged shower drain and then couldn’t understand why I got upset, because apparently this was his “reply to the question I asked.” WTF? FML

I agree, your life sucks 462

You deserved it 146

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The Top

Today, I went to the store to buy groceries. I didn't care how I looked, so I wore an old shirt that said, "Thousands of my potential children died on your daughter's face last night." I ran into my girlfriend's parents at the store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 011

You deserved it 158 386

Today, my fiancé and I attempted to have sex in my childhood bedroom. As we were falling onto the bed, I smacked my head on the wall, which caused a shelf of stuffed toys to fall onto the bed. Not only did it kill the mood, the shelf also hit me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 910

You deserved it 9 583

Random

Today, in college, we were asked at what age girls tend to become physically attractive. Wrongly thinking the answer was in relation to puberty, I said, "Umm... 11 or 12?" Now everyone thinks I'm some kind of pedophile. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 272

You deserved it 9 596

Today, I was walking to the kitchen in the dark. Something caught my eye and I turned to see a man standing in the corner, clear as day. I jumped and closed my eyes for a split second. When I opened them, he was nowhere to be seen. I'm now terrified to live in my own home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 656

You deserved it 4 836

Today, my mum is convinced I'm a hoarder. While I was out of the house, she went through my room and threw out stuff I "don't need." This included $500 worth of textbooks, a flash drive with crucial work on it, and my phone charger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 732

You deserved it 3 084

Today, my teacher confiscated my cell phone for text messaging. He said he would give it back if the next text that I would receive was important. I prayed the guy I've been texting didn't send the dick pic he said he was going to. He did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 084

You deserved it 104 204

Today, I took my dogs to an empty park. While they were running around, I laid down in the grass to read a book. Someone thought I was a dead body and called the cops. The police and paramedics showed up. This is the second time it's happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 660

You deserved it 5 028

Today, my cat woke me up an hour early so I could listen to my neighbors having sex at 6 a.m. My husband died 6 months ago, and was very sick for the previous 4 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 174

You deserved it 176