The Top

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The all-time greatest FMLs

Deal breaker

By Horny pig - 26/10/2025 20:00

Today, my fiancée told me that she thinks she's asexual. Guess I know why we haven't had sex in months. When I said this was a deal breaker, she said, "If you'd stop being a horny pig for five seconds, it wouldn't be." FML

I agree, your life sucks 467

You deserved it 93

So selfish…

By Anonymous - 30/03/2025 00:00 - Canada - Saskatoon

Today, and for the past month, my younger sibling has been having suicidal thoughts. This is causing our parents to put them on a pedestal and treat them like a princess. They’ve made me give them my money to get themselves treats and they don’t even get what they say they’re going to get. FML

I agree, your life sucks 467

You deserved it 84

Stuck

By Anonymous - 21/10/2020 11:01 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I was told by my boss if I was late one more time he fired me. I replied, "Can I quit then if that's the case." He then said no, and gave me more shifts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 467

You deserved it 1 082

I'm in hell

By lukey101 - 03/12/2024 15:00 - Australia

Today, I tested positive for Influenza A. I’m either sweating bullets or shivering cold, coughing my ass off, sneezing constantly, snotting out my eyeballs, and aching all over. To top it off it’s hot and stormy, flooding in part of town with 100% humidity, and the power just cut out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 467

You deserved it 83

Kinda sus, huh?

By Anonymous - 22/06/2024 20:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, my wife of 8 years bumped into my ex-girlfriend from 10 years ago. Despite having never met one another and no overlap in our dating, they both knew each other, but both acted like they didn’t. My ex proceeded to have an anxiety attack, and my wife played aggressive mind games with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 467

You deserved it 121

Feeling real worked out

By Anonymous - 11/03/2025 12:00

Today, the lights went out at the gym while I was holding a heavy bar. I tried to put it back on the rack, missed, and dropped it on my toe. Then, as I was limping around in pain, I hit my head on one of the other bars on a rack at head height. FML

I agree, your life sucks 467

You deserved it 104

Parenting Struggles

By FML Approved - 08/10/2017 03:00

There are a lot of FML moments when rambunctious kids are around!

I agree, your life sucks 467

You deserved it 150

J'ACCUSE!

By Anonymous - 15/01/2024 20:00 - United States - Sterling

Today, after I'd been working a 14-hour day, my wife texted me to tell me how she would like to kill me. Apparently, the lid to the garlic container was not screwed on tight enough and it spilled all in the fridge. How is that my fault? FML

I agree, your life sucks 467

You deserved it 173

BFF

By Anonymous - 31/10/2024 20:00 - Belgium - Kasterlee

Today, after my therapist told me I should open up to my friends more, I sent a message to a pen-pal and told her that I had asked for and found help with my postpartum troubles. She replied that I'm a bad friend for "always burdening her with my problems." FML

I agree, your life sucks 467

You deserved it 103

Safe sex

By avoiding preggers - 17/12/2024 14:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, I saw my roommate walk out of his room into the kitchen with a used condom in his hand, and plop it into the garbage disposal. "I don't really trust this girl" is all he said before he opened his door and walked back into his room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 467

You deserved it 152

Proud mama

By Anonymous - 02/05/2026 20:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my darling first born 23 year-old son just called me, a single mum who works full time, disgusting because I’ve gained weight and been too busy to go to the gym. He’s living at home and not paying rent, despite working. FML

I agree, your life sucks 467

You deserved it 128

Thanks for the support

By Anonymous - 01/03/2024 22:00 - United States - Dallas

Today, I came home very tired from a bad day at work, and really just wanted to relax on the couch for a while. My cat jumped into my lap, wanting affection. I was petting him, thanking him for his emotional support. He reciprocated by noxiously farting in my face and running away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 467

You deserved it 191

Desperate

By Anonymous - 15/08/2024 12:00 - United States

Today, I wish there were easier ways to make money online. I can’t bring myself to do OnlyFans or things of that nature, but I’m getting desperate. My mother only helps my male sibling, as I should just have all my shit together because I’m a woman. I don't know what the fuck to do. I’m in a workers' compensation case with no pay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 467

You deserved it 142

Don't neglect yourself

By Anonymous - 24/06/2026 00:00 - United States - Rialto

Today, I had to send a camper home before the summer session was up. She was very upset and cussed me out. I was then cussed out by her parents when they came to pick her up. She was sent home for refusal to shower and her bunk mates all complained about the corpse-like stench. FML

I agree, your life sucks 467

You deserved it 85

Play 4'33"

By Anonymous - 16/06/2024 00:00

Today, my switch to night shifts has coincided nicely with my neighbour buying her twin juvenile delinquent crotch goblins a drum set and a guitar. Now during the daylight hours, when I’m supposed to be asleep, all I can hear is their racket on the other side of the wall, mere feet from my head FML

I agree, your life sucks 467

You deserved it 137

I can fix him

By John - 26/06/2026 12:00 - United States - Hampton

Today, I found out that my girlfriend still hangs out with her "abusive, violent, psychotic, misogynistic, manipulative" ex. I told her to block him and she pitched a mega tantrum. Now I'm single again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 467

You deserved it 88

The more you know

By Donald Boyd - 12/05/2025 12:00 - United States - Canton

Today, I went to a niece's birthday party and was very careful with what food I ate, as I have gluten and garlic sensitivity. I left the party with numb lips, so I guess I have a new sensitivity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 466

You deserved it 83

Happy New 2024

By HurtsToBreathe - 01/01/2024 09:00 - United States - Fairfax

Today, it's New Year's Eve. I'd made plans to spend time with my fiancé's family the past week, then my fiancé and I were supposed to drive to my parents place today to celebrate NYE. Unfortunately, this week has been full of sickness. I spent all yesterday bedridden, and now my fiancé is too sick to get out of bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 466

You deserved it 113

Confession time

By Anonymous - 02/02/2024 15:00 - Canada - Baie-D'Urfe

Today, my mother-in-law confessed that my wife doesn't want kids because she wants to relive her teenage era when she obviously wasn't ready for it. However, I've always been told the reason was me being impulsive, unstable, and prone to outbursts when something frustrates me. Also, that's why she quit her job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 466

You deserved it 142

Targetted

By Anonymous - 15/09/2024 14:00 - United States - Miami

Today, for the second time this year, my motorcycle has been stolen, with no hope of recovery. The thieves even tore out the GPS tracking unit I'd installed to prevent it happening again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 466

You deserved it 75

Where am I right now?

By Anonymous - 27/08/2024 22:00 - United States - Livermore

Today, I celebrated my birthday with my family. While they were singing Happy Birthday to me, my mother called me by my brother's name. When I blew out the candles a moment later, I joked, "I wish my mother could remember which son I am." Before we had even started eating the cake, she called me by my father's name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 466

You deserved it 89

Not a geography major

By Yulia - 19/05/2026 03:00 - United States

Today, I learned that the guy I was dating got with me under the impression that I was Asian. I have Asian features but I’m from Kazakhstan, which is a former Soviet country part of Asia. When I told him I spoke Russian, he called me a “communist Putin puppet” and to “stop making up fake countries.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 466

You deserved it 69

OK, it's spooky season, but come on…

By Anonymous - 19/10/2024 16:00

Today, back when my son had an imaginary friend at 3 years-old it was cute; when he was 7 it was concerning; now he’s 15, still talks to him, and is refusing to see a therapist, even though I’m genuinely scared, it’s a thin line between imaginary friends and hearing voices in your head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 466

You deserved it 119

Balancing act

By KittyT - 26/02/2025 15:00 - Australia

Today, my physio told me that due to my illness, roller-skating is too ambitious an activity. I grieve who I used to be, and the life I used to be able to live… FML

I agree, your life sucks 466

You deserved it 78

Lonely

By GinaD - 02/05/2021 11:01

Today, my friend got an engagement ring. She’s been with her boyfriend for 2 years and it started as a one-night stand. Whenever I have one-night stands, the only thing I get is left on "read". FML

I agree, your life sucks 466

You deserved it 747

By Tee - 26/03/2010 08:48 - France

Today, I got locked inside my office again by my co-workers because they had forgotten I was still around when they left. This happens 1 or 2 times a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 466

You deserved it 44

My eyes!

By Anonymous - 26/05/2021 00:01 - Canada

Today, I was on the phone with an Apple advisor, who helped me back up data to my computer using remote assistance. As we did, every file transferred showed up with a real-time preview. All of a sudden, the nude selfies I forgot about rolled in. He immediately shouted, “OH WOW.” It wasn’t a good “wow” either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 466

You deserved it 1 074

Advice wanted

By Anonymous - 27/07/2024 00:00 - United States - Chaska

Today, I'm wondering if I can forgive someone who I was there for when they were at their lowest, but when I was at mine, they dropped me and told me they couldn’t help me, and I can't talk to them about it anymore? FML

I agree, your life sucks 466

You deserved it 112

Busted

By Carei - 26/03/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, my parents told me that because they found dildos, a rose toy, and condoms in my bedroom, I’m not getting a car for graduation anymore. Also, I have 30 days from my 18th birthday to “find an apartment or something” and “get the hell out” since I’m "such a grown up now." FML

I agree, your life sucks 466

You deserved it 285

One thing after the other

By Anonymous - 16/09/2025 00:00

Today, someone did a hit and run on my car hard enough to knock it onto the curb from its parking spot, destroying the bumper. They didn't leave any info behind. After taking care of police reports and such, I got home and took off my shoes just to step in a puddle of my roommate's horrible cat's diarrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 466

You deserved it 105

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The Top

Today, at work at an OB office, I heard a ruckus in the hallway before a very large woman burst into my room and tried to attack my very pregnant patient. Crazy lady is the wife of the pregnant lady’s baby daddy, who is nowhere to be found. I don’t get paid enough for this shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 614

You deserved it 76

Today, my husband and I were talking about names for our expectant child. I told him since I named our daughter he could name our son. He's decided on a name from 'God of War'. My son is going to be named after a make-believe cartoon character - Kratos. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 593

You deserved it 31 999

Random

Today, my psychotic, very jealous ex-boyfriend appeared out of nowhere and punched a male store clerk who was helping me look for azaleas in a garden center. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 222

You deserved it 3 167

Today, I realised that my body has its own masturbation cycle; while I was out shopping, I heard the intro music to my room-mate's favourite video game, and popped an uncontrollable boner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 327

You deserved it 5 784

Today, my boyfriend told me that if I had a penis, our relationship would be better. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 256

You deserved it 7 017

Today, after months of trying to convince my violent bipolar antisocial neighbors to crack a window when they smoke pot, I'm now living without any heat to avoid being blasted by pot smoke from the heat vents day and night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 659

You deserved it 1 141

Today, for the millionth time, I walked into a complete smellhole of a bathroom, because my almost ten-year-old sister not only never flushes, but she doesn't wipe either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 341

You deserved it 369

Today, I was looking for my condo keys, thinking I had left them in my mailbox on the first floor the night before. Leaving to check, I realized I'd forgot to take them out of my door when I had come in, leaving them in the keyhole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 236

You deserved it 554