The Top

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The all-time greatest FMLs

Outta control

By brother - 22/05/2024 06:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, I had to have a serious talk with my little sister about trying to hook up with my friends. Married or not. She just turned 18 but I’m hoping this was the first and last time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 479

You deserved it 94

What is wrong with you?

By Anonymous - 11/07/2026 00:00 - United States

Today, my husband came to me with a proposition. He asked in all honesty if he could please have a one-time pass to have sex with someone else. He said that she’s a virgin and it’s always been his dream, and something every man deserves in this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 479

You deserved it 123

Sponges

By ToxicFamily - 10/12/2024 03:00 - Germany

Today, my brother and sister-in-law come over ONLY to use up the resources at our house - like food, TV subscriptions, and other items. They claim to love my kids and come over for them. If only they would look up from their phone and spend actual time with the kids. Is there a way to block toxic relatives? FML

I agree, your life sucks 479

You deserved it 128

Family business

By Anonymous - 09/08/2023 06:00 - Kenya - Nairobi

Today, I found out on LinkedIn that my dad follows and endorses a successful cousin of ours. I guess I didn't make the cut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 479

You deserved it 135

Next!

By Anonymous - 06/05/2026 03:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was on a date when a woman across the restaurant started choking on food, so I and a few others rushed to help her. We got her to cough up the food but as I looked back to my date, she was stealing food from the plates of other people who'd left their tables to help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 479

You deserved it 72

Undisclosed annoyance

By Hdbelle - 13/07/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, I waited on hold with an undisclosed government office for nearly two and a half hours, sitting through 45 minutes of Terms and Conditions, only for the clerk to finally answer, say “Hello” once, and then hang up on me before I could even respond. FML

I agree, your life sucks 479

You deserved it 92

Stay home next year

By Anonymous - 26/12/2024 00:00 - India - Puducherry

Today, my father is a 70 year-old narcissist deep in debt - because he spends so much to show off and boost his ego to unknown people - but never spends a single cent on family. He nags me non stop and shouts that he's going to die in front of my toddlers. Why did I want to visit family for holidays? FML

I agree, your life sucks 479

You deserved it 131

The spark is gone

By Anonymous - 10/02/2025 20:00 - United States - Orange Park

Today, my husband of 16 years had to force himself to be intimate with me. In his words, not because he’s not attracted to me but because he no longer has emotions or feelings towards me. I’m still deeply in love and had to force intimacy because now I feel like I’m just a means to an end. FML

I agree, your life sucks 479

You deserved it 149

New addition

By Anonymous - 04/08/2025 03:00 - United States - Yuba City

Today, it's my 35th birthday. I’m a single father of 3 (14, 13, 12). I’m also a disabled combat veteran and have been alone for a while now. I just got news this morning that the mother of my children (who hasn’t been present in their lives at all for over 10 years and is a meth addict) is pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 479

You deserved it 130

I'm an empath

By Anonymous - 01/11/2025 03:00

Today, my dad straight up told me I’m not allowed to be depressed because it reflects badly on him as a single parent. This was followed by a threat to confiscate my car keys if I told anyone I’m depressed, even my friends and girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 479

You deserved it 82

Who are you calling random?!

By Anonymous - 23/05/2022 12:00 - United States - Santa Rosa

Today, I failed a calculus exam because I simply was too burnt out to study for it. I have not wanted to even look at a math problem since the beginning of the year, and I procrastinate all day instead of doing work, and it leads me here, typing at 2 a.m. to random strangers while having to get up tomorrow at 7. FML

I agree, your life sucks 479

You deserved it 1 181

Thievery Ltd.

By Anonymous - 05/10/2019 16:00

Today, I saw a neglected potted palm tree on the front porch of what I thought was an empty house down the street from me. I took it home to nurse it back to health. When I got home from work, it was gone. Later, when taking a walk, I spotted the palm, right back on the porch I'd taken it from. FML

I agree, your life sucks 479

You deserved it 2 670

Meaningful

By Just a guy - 21/03/2024 14:00 - Netherlands - Delfzijl

Today, I learned that the word "cancer" is so misused on social media platforms as a swear word, it's difficult to place a comment explaining that I have cancer without getting an automated response like, "Comment under moderation" or "Comment under review." FML

I agree, your life sucks 479

You deserved it 107

Anatomy 101

By Rhayne - 26/12/2023 22:00 - Nigeria - Lagos

Today, I, a 29 year-old, healthy female who has never done anal, felt the urge to fart while working on my computer. However, it then felt like I was going to be poop, so did a mini sprint to my bathroom. Unfortunately, my anus let go and I shat myself. What is wrong with me? FML

I agree, your life sucks 479

You deserved it 237

Fresh-faced

By jakob - 09/04/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, I pulled up to a party with my friends. I never partied in high school and college due to being bullied, so I was excited for my first party. It turned out to be a college house party, I'm a little older by 3 years but it’s no big deal. They mistook me for a freshman and I was bullied. FML

I agree, your life sucks 479

You deserved it 162

How could you?

By Anonymous - 07/06/2026 12:00 - United States

Today, my wife called me at work, screaming in rage that she hated me, that I was a useless lump, that she wishes we'd never met. Did I have an affair or burn the house down? Nope. I set up the kids' backpacks for school today and forgot a library book that was due today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 479

You deserved it 93

Hang in there

By Leah Magers - 11/05/2026 03:00 - United States - Ames

Today, I continue to suffer from chronic vertigo, which affects my daily life, including but not limited to dizziness, not being able to drive some days, nausea and vomiting, not able to hold my children without falling, and this morning I fell to the floor temporarily blind because of it. Eighteen years of this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 479

You deserved it 61

Shit tastes better when you're in love

By Anonymous - 18/03/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, I had to be the asshole who finally told one of our friends that his wife can't cook. This was after she tried to make fajitas using a third-rate premade sauce and processed ham, burned it, and stank up the entire house. He seemed shocked when we all agreed; he thought it was good. We all facepalmed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 479

You deserved it 155

Chilling

By Anonymous - 03/05/2024 12:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my parents went on holiday, finally, and since I’m always freezing I took the opportunity to actually turn up the temperature on the boiler. Not 30 seconds later my dad called pissed and told me either I turn it back down or he’s coming home from Spain to kick my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 478

You deserved it 210

By NoPainNoGain - 05/06/2009 05:03 - United States

Today, while running on the treadmill at the gym, the girl next to me slipped and went flying back against the wall. Indecisive whether to get off and help her or to just keep going, I lost my focus and footing and flew back next to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 478

You deserved it 122

Stingy git

By Anonymous - 01/10/2024 12:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my boss found out that I have a second job in a similar industry and tried to fire me for disloyalty, industrialist espionage, theft of intellectual property, you name it. I need a second job because he pays peanuts, and it’s a specialised skill set so I got a similar job just for convenience. FML

I agree, your life sucks 478

You deserved it 133

My brother, the asshole

By Anonymous - 21/07/2026 15:00 - United States - Pensacola

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my family. My brother insulted her weight so many times she left in tears. Not only does he not understand why what he did was wrong, he’s genuinely livid with me for being upset with him, to the point that he damn near slugged me when I confronted him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 478

You deserved it 99

The struggle is real

By Alone - 15/01/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, I've come to accept that while my family claims to be supportive of my disabilities, they become completely ableist whenever they're the source of the problem, or if my problems otherwise have a direct effect on them. I have no real friends in this world. FML

I agree, your life sucks 478

You deserved it 203

Comma etiquette

By Anonymous - 05/08/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, I was accused of using AI to write something, all because I used the Oxford Comma ; I use it all the time, and always will. The internet has become such a total shitshow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 478

You deserved it 104

Boys will be boys

By Anonymous - 20/12/2021 04:59

Today, my boys get in so much trouble, I don’t even bother checking on them anymore. Instead, every ten minutes, I yell up the stairs to stop whatever they’re doing, and every time without fail they guiltily apologise and try to blame each other/promise to fix it/swear not to do it again. EVERY TIME. FML

I agree, your life sucks 478

You deserved it 979

Slipping up

By Anonymous - 06/04/2024 12:00 - United States - Richardson

Today, while I was at work, I didn't have any panty liners so I used tissue. I was taking orders when I suddenly felt the tissue trailing down my leg. I tried not to move, but it inevitably fell through my pants onto the floor in front of my co-workers. I swiftly put it into my pocket. Luckily, it had nothing on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 478

You deserved it 162

Family time

By skinny - 01/11/2023 00:02

Today, my parents decided to go on a diet. This would be perfectly fine if they didn’t insist I go on one too. I weigh less than 90 pounds and am underweight for my height. FML

I agree, your life sucks 478

You deserved it 63

Welcome to reality

By Anonymous - 04/01/2024 12:00 - United States - Warren

Today, my dad came home roughly 3 hours early. He came back because he was laid off from his job, because there was no work for him on his current shift and they haven't found a replacement shift for him at the job he's currently at. Shouldn't they have figured that out in advance? FML

I agree, your life sucks 478

You deserved it 98

Wrong place, right time

By Anonymous - 12/03/2020 16:00

Today, I stopped to gas up. The pump wasn't taking my BP rewards card, and it said to go see the cashier. I went in to ask what's up, where the cashier politely pointed out that I was in a Shell gas station, not a BP. FML

I agree, your life sucks 478

You deserved it 2 051

You can't handle the truth!

By Anonymous - 16/11/2022 04:00

Today, I went into my dad’s phone out of suspicion and read his texts. Instant regret. He’s 65, goes to various prostitutes, mum’s oblivious, they’re happy and take care of each other. This one’s a weird one to suppress or learn to let go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 478

You deserved it 1 574

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The Top

Today, I went to my friends-with-benefits's house as planned. My phone was on do not disturb so I missed the message half an hour before I was supposed to be there, asking to come tomorrow. I arrived and he had another chick there. Most awkward encounter, being asked to leave when she was the last minute plan, not me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 631

You deserved it 1 348

Today, I took my new boyfriend's virginity about 10 minutes ago. He kept whispering, "It’s inside you, it’s actually inside you… feels kind of sticky, slippery, it’s actually inside you I can’t believe it.” It was super off-putting and a bit creepy. And no, I definitely did not orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 611

You deserved it 329

Random

Today, at my house party, I caught my boyfriend having sex with my best friend. His excuse? He wanted to be better in bed for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 401

You deserved it 3 522

Today, my power went out due to a huge snow storm. I was in desperate need of candles and flashlights. I had to walk to the store since the roads were closed. I walked 4 miles in the blizzard. When I got home, the power came back on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 022

You deserved it 8 516

Today, I was getting my first tattoo done. My parents told me it was a bad idea. My friends' parents told me it was a bad idea. I told them that people get tattoos done all the time and nothing goes wrong. Fifty minutes into the tattoo on my back, the artist said, "Oh shit, shit, shit. We can fix this." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 431

You deserved it 56 294

Today, we have nearly no food in the house. My husband went shopping with the kids and returned with a sack of tomatoes. Time to make lunch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 088

You deserved it 248

Today, my mom yelled at me for still having a disability at the age of 30, because I should have "grown out of it by now." Then she blamed it on the fact that I got my COVID-19 vaccine. Autism isn't caused by vaccines and it's never going to go away, no matter how old I get. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 326

You deserved it 126

Today, I saw my old high school crush in a grocery store. I panicked, because the last time I saw her, I was spouting embarrassing teenage incel horseshit at her, so I dodged out of view to look at something. She'd seen me, came over, and found me awkwardly crouched in the vegetable section, staring at a cucumber. FML

I agree, your life sucks 100

You deserved it 628