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The all-time greatest FMLs

Bad sign

By Filing for divorce - 27/11/2024 12:00 - United States

Today, my husband thought I was still asleep while he was getting ready for work. How do I know? I watched him grab a condom out of his nightstand and put it in his lunchbox. FML

I agree, your life sucks 800

You deserved it 105

These guys

By Anonymous - 01/01/2023 03:00

Today, my girlfriend of two years finally agreed to marry me. As I went on with the proposal, her Grandma tried rejecting me by saying, "These guys have gangster friends." FML

I agree, your life sucks 800

You deserved it 149

FML Approved, Video #4

By Louis - 20/03/2017 21:30 - France - Le Mans

Always leave a tip, otherwise your plans might fall through.

I agree, your life sucks 800

You deserved it 183

Overreaction

By Anonymous - 31/05/2022 04:00 - United States

Today, I delivered some bad news to my girlfriend, and she broke up with me. By the way, Coca-Cola is discontinuing Honest Tea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 800

You deserved it 105

Another great day to be alive

By Anonymous - 26/07/2021 21:59 - Germany

Today, I didn’t get much done because I woke up late and therefore didn’t have much time. No wait, that was yesterday. Today I didn’t get much done because I woke up EARLY and was miserably tired and good for nothing all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 799

You deserved it 428

Poor boy

By Cone of STFU - 09/01/2023 21:00

Today, my recently-neutered dog has to wear the cone of shame for several weeks. The sounds he makes when he's being rambunctious are now augmented even further by the sound of the cone scraping and bashing against everything. I tell you, it's so much more annoying than it sounds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 799

You deserved it 222

Burn out

By Anonymous - 23/11/2021 04:59

Today, I quit my job by insulting my manager - who is/was a friend, whose wedding I officiated - in full earshot of everyone. It turned into a pretty public argument on the street. I don’t really know why I did it, other than just feeling so burned out by his treatment of everyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 799

You deserved it 495

Health is overrated

By Anonymous - 16/03/2022 12:00

Today, trying to get into shape because I run out of breath after walking more than 30 minutes, I started to hit the gym. Too bad my legs didn’t want to cooperate and decided that it would cause limping-worthy pain for every step I took on the treadmill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 799

You deserved it 202

Cruisin' for a bruisin'

By huh? - 18/10/2023 17:30

Today, someone asked me a question and I responded with, “What?” They said, “Are you deaf as well as stupid!?” then punched me in the throat. I’m actually hard of hearing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 799

You deserved it 127

Peace and quiet

By Anonymous - 22/07/2021 14:01

Today, I swear to Christ, I prefer being at work these days, because when I’m at home if it’s not the kids screaming then it’s my wife moaning about nothing, or the dogs whining and barking, or the neighbour coming round to moan about all the noise. Sometimes wish I was bleeding deaf. FML

I agree, your life sucks 799

You deserved it 480

TikTok influencers grind my gears

By ThisIsYourDoc - 31/05/2023 22:00

Today, a patient explained to me what treatment he thought I was supposed to give him by showing me a TikTok video. For one, I'm a surgeon, not a dentist, but even if I was, I wouldn't do root canal treatments at 2 a.m. in an emergency room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 799

You deserved it 82

8 out of 10 orthopedists

By Anonymous - 15/05/2021 14:01 - Germany

Today, I had a talk with my orthopedist about getting back to fitness training. However, according to her, all my favorite exercises, although taught to me by professionals, are "things one should never do" and "very very bad". FML

I agree, your life sucks 799

You deserved it 145

Gobble gobble

By Anonymous - 04/08/2021 00:01

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend why he shouldn't take drugs from strangers. I'm 35 and he's 34. FML

I agree, your life sucks 799

You deserved it 145

Always with you

By Anonymous - 26/07/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, I hung up the phone and went to tell my dad that I’d finished switching all the utilities into my name. Then I remembered I was switching them into my name because of his death. FML

I agree, your life sucks 799

You deserved it 75

Narcissistic

By Anonymous - 07/03/2022 12:00 - Canada - Dundas

Today, my mom chewed me out, because my brother has been complaining to her that I don't talk to him anymore since moving out. We've never talked much, even when we were sharing a place! FML

I agree, your life sucks 799

You deserved it 103

Barfed out

By superbubbles - 23/03/2021 21:30 - Canada

Today, I threw up in bio when we dissected cow hearts. Guess that rules out my childhood passion as a possible career. FML

I agree, your life sucks 799

You deserved it 150

Sharing is caring

By perfect timing - 06/06/2023 00:02

Today, after a very long, nasty custody battle with his ex, my boyfriend’s kids were finally scheduled to spend the night at our house. Today is also the day my daughter came home with a note from school about the massive lice outbreak on campus. Yup she has it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 799

You deserved it 133

Not my usual material

By Confused guy - 24/11/2022 14:00

Today, my art class had a project where you made a "statue" out of a metal hanger and pantyhose, and paint it. Being the only guy in the entire class and painfully single, I was not aware that pantyhose is so stretchy, so I got annoyed when it ripped. The teacher felt the need to make a huge scene about this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 798

You deserved it 136

Savings

By someone who is depressed - 19/01/2023 12:00 - United States

Today, I've found that the water bill has been much lower than usual as of late. I then realized that this is because I'm so depressed and hardly get out at all, that I've stopped showering or even taking care of myself in general. Who do I have to impress, anyway? FML

I agree, your life sucks 798

You deserved it 236

Wedding bells

By Anonymous - 05/08/2022 14:00

Today, and up until now, I was dating a sweet farmer's daughter, then I put a ring on it, and now I’m engaged to the bride of Chucky. She's pulled wedding magazines out of places I’ve never seen, and has called every female relative she has, twice. Send help, and beer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 798

You deserved it 932

Burning down the house

By Anonymous - 26/07/2021 02:01 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I got some ingredients ready for a stew in the slow cooker, planning to turn it on when I left for work. Well, my dumb, un-caffeinated ass turned it on, but put it on high instead of low. For 13 hours. It was completely charcoal by the time I got home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 798

You deserved it 330

He's still right, though

By Anonymous - 30/12/2020 05:03

Today, my dad snapped at me for assuming that Eminem was the one to come up with the phrase, “Will the real ___ please stand up?” since that was the only time I’ve heard it. Apparently, I “always assume things are modern”. So I asked him where in fact the phrase came from and guess what? He didn’t know. FML

I agree, your life sucks 798

You deserved it 226

They hated her because she spoke the truth

By Anonymous - 21/08/2021 06:01

Today, I threw a pillow at my 8 year-old cousin while play-fighting. She gave me a look, then muttered, "You don't have any girlfriends and the girls that talk to you probably have no taste." FML

I agree, your life sucks 798

You deserved it 120

They'll be back

By Anonymous - 20/01/2023 04:00 - Australia

Today, it's been about 4 months since my partner and I spent all our savings to open a board game shop. We found that most people were interested in D&D, and so we stupidly decided to put most of our eggs in one basket, and send about 75% of our other stock back. Guess what everyone decided to boycott last week? FML

I agree, your life sucks 798

You deserved it 367

Sibling rivalry

By Anonymous - 14/07/2023 00:02 - Switzerland - Zollikerberg

Today, I finally had an opportunity to flirt with the guy I have a crush on. We danced together all night and everything was going well… too well apparently, because out of nowhere, he kissed my sister, who knew about my crush on him but still kissed him back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 798

You deserved it 156

Rules and regulations

By Anonymous - 29/03/2022 04:00

Today, I moved into a new home with a HOA, and on the first night I received a copy of the HOA rules as thick as a phone book. I already regret moving here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 798

You deserved it 456

Cultural imperialism

By Anonymous - 28/02/2023 02:00

Today, my new boyfriend said I’m only allowed three male friends, and their names are, “the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost.” When I told him he was quoting Will Ferrell, I realized he was born in Croatia and doesn’t know who that is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 798

You deserved it 214

Sensitive

By fragile - 06/07/2022 14:00

Today, the reality of how shattered my mental health is truly hit me when I spent ten minutes crying after a bot beat me at a card game. FML

I agree, your life sucks 798

You deserved it 264

Really bugs me

By Anonymous - 22/06/2021 06:00

Today, most people don’t realize how relaxing it is to poop on an indoor toilet. As in, being able to do your business in peace without having to keep mosquitoes from landing on your private parts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 798

You deserved it 123

Venting

By Anonymous - 19/02/2024 20:00

Today, I found out my girlfriend, who absolutely would never cheat on me because she’s been cheated on in the past and knows how much it hurts, has not one but two boyfriends on the side, who know about each other and do occasional threesomes. Lying bitch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 798

You deserved it 157

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The Top

Today, I was at the park when I saw a homeless man sleeping on a bench. I thought it would be funny to throw a small rock at him. He thought it would be funny to pull out his knife and chase me for six blocks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 164

You deserved it 2 811

Today, after my girlfriend warned me she has the condition hypersexuality and like a fool I thought I’d landed on my feet, or on my back as it were, do you have any idea how bad sex is when you have it between 5 and 10 times a day for over a year? It’s basically a chore at this point. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 059

You deserved it 746

Random

Today, I was laying on the couch, reading, when I noticed a spindly leg poking round the corner of my book. Upon realising it was a spider, I calmly and rationally threw my book across the room, breaking the TV. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 794

You deserved it 9 286

Today, my mom accused me of stealing money from her purse. Being totally innocent, I reminded her that the only other person with access to it is her boyfriend. She said she trusts him because she loves him. They've been dating for two months. I've been her daughter for 25 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 304

You deserved it 2 541

Today, my mother spent over $5,000 to fly in a Feng-Shui master, put him in a five-star hotel, and had him walk around our house with a compass, moving things to help improve the "energy flow." Now all I have in my room is an old mattress and lamp. He's coming back tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 438

You deserved it 3 317

Today, my hours got cut because I couldn't make it into work when they called me in. Why couldn't I make it in? I was in an interview for a better job. I didn't get the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 788

You deserved it 18 053

Today, I received an email saying, "Thinking of you and hoping you are taking care." It was from the love of my life. We broke up 20 years ago. Previously, we had contact every 5+ years. It's just too late. FML

I agree, your life sucks 711

You deserved it 139

Today, it took me 2 hours to get my toddler to sleep. Just after I got him down, my mom woke him up by banging my pots and pans around in the sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 703

You deserved it 131